THIRD CHANCE

I’ve been here before… I could hear people talking behind me, I want to open my eyes but it feels so heavy. I am listening carefully but no words from them I could understand. I am trying hard to move, but why I can’t feel any nerve in me. Finally! I could recognize a clear voice.

“Mr. Carter, can you hear me?” that is my assistant, Andrea. I try to open my eyes and though I am successful, I can’t see anything. There is a bright light flashing right before my eyes, the doctor (if I’m not mistaken) is speaking to me.

“Follow the light Mr. Carter.” Slowly things are getting clearer and images are staring to form, there are five people surrounding me, of them I could only recognize Andrea.

“Can you hear me clearly?” I don’t know if I can hear the doctor clearly or I am just lip reading.

“Mr. Carter, I am Andrea your...” I wave my hand and try to utter words (I know who you are) but the oxygen mask is hindering me to do so. I try to take it off but the nurse beside me hold my hand and they did it for me.

“I know you Andrea.” Though my eyes are still blurry I could see smiles on the faces of each people inside.

“That’s a very good response Mr. Carter.” The doctor sound so happy

“How long I’ve been sleeping?”

“Four years!” finally I could recognize the man behind Andrea, my best friend Lucas. Everyone is trying to hide their laughter

“Don’t believe him Mr. Carter, you’ve been sleep for two weeks only.” From my very honest assistant

“I never believe that man either.” Though it’s hard to speak I could say those words that makes them all laugh

“Dude! You scare us!” he jumps to give me a hug but he stops and I look down to see my two feet hanging; down from my feet up to waist and left arms, I am covered in cast. “Don’t worry about your “thing” the doctor says it will still work” and everyone laugh, but seriously? I am damn lame.

Lucas makes everything around me sound so light, but as the people went out I am left by the fact that I am crippled. I was in the front page of every newsletter the day the accident happens. I got a lot of mails and on my side table are goods from friends who hope me to get well and from enemies who hope me to die. 

I hope I simply die, I run out of reason to live anyway. For the last time, I fail to find my sister, I ask people if any lady of her age appear here. Just in case she saw me in the news and got a heart to pay me a visit. Maybe she hates me or she’s no longer here… I hope she’s still alive though she can’t remember me.

The week in the hospital feels like a year. I watched nurses and doctor come and go. There are days that random people pay me a visit, some pure heart people and some who just want something to write on their page. I only got few friends thus seeing random people in my room surprise me. There is a young woman who always come here before the day shine at its brightest, I just watched her pick up the old flowers and place new one. She looks familiar but I can’t remember when did I see her. I never give a word to her, because I think she doesn’t need it as well. She only came here to change flower and sometimes she looks at me and smile a little. Today is my fifth month and I haven’t seen her for three days and the flowers are all withered. The doctor says they can take the cast out of me.

“Can I ask you a question doctor?”

“Sure Mr. Carter”

“Where is the woman who’s changing the flower here every day?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well… you see the flower on my vase is withered, she had been gone for three days…”

“We don’t employ a woman to change a flower on your vase Mr. Carter”

“Oh… maybe Andrea ask her.”

“I think so Mr. Carter.”

“So can I go home after this?”

“We will run a few tests and yes you can go home after that”

After a day, they were able to release me. I try to move my feet but as the doctor say I still need to undergo physical therapy to regain my strength on walking. My house looks the same, my good assistant hires me a nurse to help me with things that I cannot do.

“Mr. Carter, this is Kierra your personal nurse.” I am not mistaken; she is the woman who’s changing the flower on my vase. The doctor is right, Andrea hires her.

“Isn’t she too skinny to assist me? I mean I weigh a lot” she’s tall but her body seems too small to carry a man like me, just in case I fell down.

“I am stronger than you think I am Sir.” She smiles with that familiar smile.

“Okay then, I am bit relieved.” I didn’t question Andrea why not hire a man for this job, I trust her preferences. She’d been my assistant and friend for many years. They were able to build a ramp from my living room up to my bedroom. She’s reliable, she did all this house customization without waiting for me to say it. Andrea knows how my brain works.

“Should I give you raise Andrea?”

“For what Harold?” when no one is around she calls me on my first name, we were old friends and she’d seen a lot of my struggles and success.

“For making things easy for me”

“You can’t pay me any dime.” She’s playing with her pen again

“Why you’re still staying with me?”

“Why not?”

“Marry a man Andrea, and find a better job that will give justice to your diploma”

“Do you want me to do that now or after you recovered?”

“I am good.”

“You don’t sound like you’re good.” She walks on my mini bar, took two glasses and pour me a wine “You can cry if you want, I won’t mind”

“Well I mind.” I sip some wine, it tastes better “I am not a kid anymore, you don’t have to take care of me always. You and your family had been so good to me and you’re wasting a lot of time staying here with me when in fact you can be whoever you want to be, you’re wise, beautiful, powerful…”

“But I can’t leave you behind, I promise my father that.”

“You had helped me a lot, I believe that’s enough.”

“Why are you always pushing me away Harold?”

“I am not.” The thing is that; I know her feelings for me but I hate to admit the fact that I cannot repay her with any love. Her family are the one who helped me be a better man. I worked for her father. After an old man gave me money. I travel here and try my luck. Her father is a small-time repair man; he hires me in exchange of a meal and a shelter. When our shop is close, I run into nearest computer shop and try to earn little from penny stocks. When I first got my first gain I gave her father some and he started to expand his shop and it goes on. I never ask for money in exchange of my service to them, and I never ask him to return all the money that I am giving him. I thank them for giving me shelter and feeding me well. After a decade, he was able to build his first vehicle merchandise and started to make a name on the industry. They are my family; Andrea is my family… I cannot love her the way that she wants me to.

“Do you still want to look for your sister?”

“As long as I live, I will find her”

“Maybe she’s hiding from you Harold.”

“Then I will chase her” I want to show her that I can make my promises come true, even if she doesn’t care anymore.