CHAPTER V: WELCOME HOME, TONYA

AKIRA was torn whether or not showing the article to Tonya was a smart thing to do, but the dark side won.

If Akira’s senses were right, Tonya would react the same way Akira did when she first read about it.

“I was shocked too, but then I was laughing.” Akira grinned. The younger woman half expected that Tonya would cry or curse or leave.

To her delight, the older woman burst out in teary laughter – the kind of laughter that made Tonya press her hands against her stomach. She couldn’t even read it with a straight face.

It was her ex-husband on the article, hospitalized after the woman he cheated on Tonya with, cut his genitals off because she caught him with another woman in bed.

“That’s so horrible but so funny at the same time.” Tonya giggled, catching her breath as she wiped her eyes. “Another woman? At his age? Really?”

“He’s fortunate that she used a knife. Straight cut means doctors can reattach it,” Akira stated, shoving her phone in her jacket pocket before lifting the box up. “Imagine if she bit it off.”

Tonya grimaced and shook her shoulders in disgust jokingly, before smiling in silence as she stared at Akira’s box of things.

“Will you be okay here, or will you finally go to the light?” Akira questioned. “It’s going to be boring here without someone to purposely annoy.”

Tonya snorted and then gazed out the window, like she thought about it too. “Today is my eighth death anniversary.”

“Did you check if anyone visited your grave?” Akira replied, and Tonya shrugged.

“Just my sisters and their children, and a few close cousins.”

Akira nodded and mimicked Tonya, looking out the apartment window. “I’m moving on.”

The older woman pursed her lips.

“Don’t you think it’s time for you to move on too?” Akira asked meekly and Tonya shrugged again.

“I still don’t know why I wasn’t enough for him. I mean, he was enough for me. Didn’t that matter?”

Akira couldn’t hide the sadness in her face. Tonya was a lost spirit not because of the doctor who killed her, or her money falling into the wrong hands. She just wanted the man she married to care.

“Ah, I know that look. Stop it.” Tonya crossed her arms on her chest and led Akira to the door. “I’ll miss our little gossip hours.”

“You know there’s a possibility that you’ll never get a chance to ask your questions.” Akira stopped before opening the door and faced Tonya with a serious tone. “The reason why you weren’t enough is because for him, no one is. Look at how you tried to transform physically to be as young as that woman thinking that’s what he wanted, and he also cheated on her anyway.”

Tonya looked away and settled her sight on the floor. “I can’t help thinking it was my fault. I let myself get old and boring.”

“Humans get old, and trust me when I say you are the farthest thing from boring.” Akira sighed and shook her head. There was a glimmer of hope in Tonya’s eyes like this real talk was helping; the least Akira could do before leaving forever. “He left because he’s an asshole. It’s that simple.”

Tonya laughed, nodding in agreement as Akira cursed the man.

“He chose a life where he’s never going to be content or grateful for what he has. Picture how miserable that is… drinking water over and over but never being able to quench the thirst.” Akira placed the box on the floor and pulled her phone out, flashing the ridiculous article again on the screen. “You were the same when you were alive. You didn’t need these cosmetic procedures but you kept having them anyway.”

The older woman was silent again and her eyes welled with tears, knowing in her heart that Akira was telling the truth. It was miserable and every surgery frightened her to the bones, but she was never satisfied because she kept doing it for somebody else.

“See, you are my age.” Tonya sniffled, trying to joke to relieve the heavy emotions hitting her all at once. In eight years of roaming the surface, this is the only time Tonya really discussed her untold feelings about why she was still in the living world. “How are you this self-actualized? You haven’t even died yet.”

“I listen to a lot of self-actualized dead people.” Akira grinned and lowered her phone. “That unsatiable feeling will stay with him to the grave and you’ll get even. But for you… it’s been eight years.”

Tonya wiped her face brashly with the back of her hand and looked at Akira intently.

“Enough suffering,” The younger woman uttered sincerely. “You deserve a better place to sashay around than this crappy apartment.”

They shared mirth and loud laughter and Tonya flashed a smile, a genuine one, not like that sarcastic signature sneer she does when she says Akira’s work-from-home clothes make her look like a smelly hipster.

“I’ll really miss you, hija,” Tonya mumbled. “I’d hug you if I can, but you’ll just go right through me.”

“Will this help?” Akira held her open hand up and Tonya did the same, touching palms but not really touching. There was no sensation to it just like all of the times a stray tried to reach for Akira, but Tonya felt happy with the connection anyway, thankful that they met and helped each other in some way.

They said their final goodbyes and Akira went out of the building then loaded the last box into the car. Before opening the passenger side, she took one last glance at her old apartment window.

Tonya stood behind the glass, smiling and waving at Akira as the old woman – her roommate, her friend – faded slowly and disappeared, just in time for the magnificent pink sunset. It’s just like Tonya to leave as dramatically as she entered.

She succeeded. She set herself free and went to the light on her own.

“Rest in peace, Tonya.” Akira waved and entered the car.

Her eyes then fixated on the skies painted in stunning colors, as if the universe just welcomed someone back home.