Last night as I walked away from the living room, I told myself that I wouldn't cry and that it wasn't true, it couldn't be true. I told myself That I'd be strong.
But as soon as I walked into my room and locked my door. The water works started coming. Loud sobs from deep inside me.
Because I knew, I just knew that it was true. I was getting married and there's no two ways about it.
So, I cried my heart out until my eyes closed and I slept off.
Now I was awake my pillow was damp with my tears I'm pretty sure if I squeezed it hard enough, I'd get a few droplets of tears.
Mother came a few hours ago. Asking me to come down. Or have just breakfast. I ignored her for a while and when she kept insisting i yelled at her to go away.
Explains why she's was sad yesterday. I know it wasn't her fault hell she probably didn't have a choice either. But I just feel betrayed.
How could she let them do this?
I stared at my clock. The time was fifteen past four in the afternoon. I haven't eaten in about twenty four hours yet I wasn't hungry. My stomach felt like it was filled with lead.
I knew I'd have to to face reality to soon but for I just wanted to stay in my bed snuggling under my sheets.
I'd deal with the wedding crap later maybe tomorrow but not today.
***
I'd being up for a few minutes. mother's knocking woke me up again at around six in the evening. I think she was crying. She'd threatened to have someone breakdown the door if I didn't let her in. But I was still mad. What can I say? I know how to hold a grudge. I think she noticed I wasn't going to open the door so she gave up and left. That was two hours ago.
Right now, I'm starving. You'd think the anger would take my appetite away but what can I say? I'm not used to being empty.
Rolling out of bed still dressed in my pajama pants and sponge bob square pants tank. I pull my hair into a messy ponytail and walked downstairs.
My mission? Go to the kitchen, get some dinner and go back up. Don't talk to anyone if I can help it. if I'm lucky enough I won't even see anyone.
But then since I've never boasted that the big guy upstairs loves me everyone just had to be having dinner in the kitchen today.
The not so important conversation they were having paused as soon as I entered. Even Manuel was here. If you asked me before today, I could have sworn he didn't know the way to the kitchen. So, either this was planned or a lot had changed in the two and a half years I was away.
"Lola come sit, Lisa will make you a plate" mother said. Her face looked puffy. She's being crying.
"Thanks, but am not very hungry" okay so that was a major lie. But so, what? I don't want to see anyone right now.
"We have to discuss your marriage" My father snapped.
"You can't expect me to marry someone I don't even know! to get married just like that, to get married just like that? out of the blue?" I snapped right back anger coating my voice.
"Yes, you will Dolores, and at the night of your wedding you will spread your legs and carry out your duty!" He deadpan. His eyes filled with rage.
I glared at him. How can he be like this? why is he like this? "Why does it have to be me? I'm sure someone else would be more than happy to take my pla-"
"Enough! you two" Manuel cut in. stack irritation on his face.
God I'd almost forgotten he was in the room as well.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but Lola is right father. We shouldn't force her" I snapped my neck so quickly to kat I think I broke something but I'll deal with that later. Did kat just supported me? I mean we've being fighting over everything for as long as I can remember.
"The choice is not hers. Dolores was chosen. There isn't anything we can do about that." Manuel replied.
"But that is so unfair. I am older than Lola. Therefore, I should wed first, papa this is an insult to me." Kat snapped. "How will show my face outside.
"See, Kat is all too pleased to get married, let her" I argued.
"It has to be you Dolores" Manuel looks bored.
"Wait, if this is about physical appearance, we can work on it" everyone looked at me like I'd lost my mind
"What? It can be done just ask the Kardashians plastics surgery is like magic these days."
Kat glared at me. Mother and father looked confused. Manuel looks bored as usual. Sara and Carlos look on the verge of laughter.
"It has to be you, Dolores. I won't say it again. Now do as your father says. I have work to do." With that Manuel got up and left.
I did the same.
Leaving without the food I came for.
I went to bed after that.
***
"Can't hold this off for much longer" I said to myself as I rolled out of bed the next morning.
In my bathroom I relived my throbbing bladder. Then looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked like hell.
My dark brown hair looked like two rats played around in it.
A bath wouldn't do. I need a shower. A hot shower.
After washing up. I stood in front of my mirror and started working on my hair it was always a pain untangling the knots and brushing this mane I call hair pulling all of it over my left shoulder and decide to star from the tips just like how Lydia thought me.
Around my first time in the academy my hair was a mess all the times. I remember Chloe asking me to cut it but I'd told her I didn't want to.
Ha! the last time I cut my hair it didn't end well.
I'd asked mama to cut my hair so It would looked like that of a girl I saw in a stupid cartoon.
Mama cut it alright. After I asked her repeatedly for a week. When father came back home, he was pissed. He was so mad he back handed me. It was the first time he ever hurt me, physically at least.
After that he'd said women aren't supposed to cut their hair. Or they'll look ugly and no one will marry an ugly wife.
Then he'd gone ahead and told me never to cut my hair ever again.
Now I looked at my neatly brushed long hair that I pulled into a high pony tail. "Tada!" I said in a sing song voice.
Existing the bathroom, I grab a pair black jean shorts and white tank top and pull them on.
Taking a deep breath "this is going to be a long ass day" I said to myself before unlocking my doors and steeping outside.
Deciding to go to the kitchen because I know almost everyone will be there and let's face it, I'm hungry.
I passed a few guards in the hallways the first one looked at me from afar then quickly looked away as I got closer. As did the rest. I recognized a few from two years ago.
As I walked pass them without even spearing them a glance a part of me felt guilty. A small part. Normally I'd smile or wave at them but right now I am pissed at Father, mother, Manuel and everyone else in this Goddamned family. I am a girl on a mission. Have breakfast then find out everything I can about the criminal I'm supposed to marry. And yes, I said criminal. There's no way a man can be in the Mafia with clean hands. Am not really sure what they actually do but I'm quite sure killing is part of their initiation process.
As I enter the kitchen, I see some servants running around. Mrs, Lupe making breakfast.
By the side of the kitchen is a huge dining table were everyone usually have breakfast. Carlos was already sitting down there. A steaming cup of what I assume is coffee in front of him.
As if he felt my gaze on him, he raised his head and looked towards the entrance where I was standing.
"Lola, Good morning" he said in a clear voice. his gray eyes similar to mine
"Hi Carlos" I replied tiredly before walking in.
His gaze raked down me slowly before coming back up.
He had this wired look in his eyes.
"Lola?" I turned to see Mrs. Lupe making her ways towards me a guilty look in her eyes." My dear I was getting worried about you"
"Morning Mrs. Lupe" I continued towards the breakfast table.
"What would you have dear?"
"I'll have whatever your making" I replied taking a sit in front of Carlos.
"Where is everyone?" I ask after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"I'm not sure I just got up to-"
He was cut off by Mrs. Lupe "here is your breakfast my dear and some coffee" she said placing a plate of scrambled eggs, toasted bread and bacon in front of me.
And the smell oh my God, divine. My stomach practically begged me to dig in and I did.
After a few bites.
"Thanks, Mrs. Lupe" I said and she gave me a small smile but not looking at me in the eyes.
That's odd, she seems almost guilty. Why would sh ?- and then it hit me. She knew!
Clearing my throat, I asked."Mrs. Lupe did you know about it too?"
Her smile fell. "Yes, Lola dear I've always known I'm so sorry." She said in a small voice.
"You too Carlos did you know?" I asked facing him this time.
"Yes Lola" he said in a flat voice.
So basically, everyone knew but me. I wanted to be pissed and freak out but honestly, I didn't have the strength for that.
Just then mother walked in her face in a worried expression.
"Mother?" I might be mad at her but I still worry.
"Lola oh my God I was so worries. I was just at your room and you weren't there."
"Am fine. I just needed to process all that." Now I feel kind of guilty for making her worry.
Mother comes to take a sit beside me.
"Mama, we need to talk. You owe me some answers"
"Mm of course whatever you want sweetheart"
Mrs. Lupe makes her escape in the name of making breakfast for mother.
"Good morning, Beatrice" Carlos said and I am reminded of his presence.
"Good morning, Beatrice" Carlos said and I am reminded of his presence. "Carlos, I didn't see you there" mother replied. "I should get going. You two have a nice day." He said as he stood up and walked out leaving his cup on the table no doubt expecting someone to get rid of it. "You wanted to talk honey?" I snapped my gaze back to mother. "Mmm. Yes" well where do I start. "Well, who is it?" I asked am not even sure I want to know anymore. "Who?" Mother asked feigning ignorance This time I shot her a glare. "I'm going to assume you mean your future husband" she said calmly. I was anything but calm He's not my future husband! I wanted to shout but decided to keep shut. "His name is Dominko Salvatore" mother said dropping the bomb. My heart jumped. I inhale, knowing his name doesn’t make me feel different. This still doesn’t feel real. "Hmm, Salvatore?" I thought out loud. That doesn't make any sense. Last night before I slept off, I tried to remember
"What is this mother?" I asked as soon as I saw her. Immediately I left my room I walked straight to the kitchen where I knew mama would be assisting with dinner.She froze for a moment before she slowly turned to face me. Like she's being preparing for this confrontation. "I'm sorry Lola. But it could not be avoided or prolongedfor much longer" she said slowly. “Its not like its happening next week for God sake” “Actually dear, it is…” she drawled out Swallowing a lump in my throat I pinched the bridge of my nose “Next week? Next week?” I drew in a deep breath needing to yell. “are you people kidding me?” “I’m trying to come to terms with the news I just got, what? Two days ago? And now this? what’s with the rush?” “We cant keep them waiting any longer. You turned eighteen two months ago you know how things are” I burry my face in my palms. I refused to cry, I feel like I’ve being crying nonstop for da
Now grandfather Alonzo and I walked arms and in arms to my bedroom on the second floor."You have grown so well in this two years Delores. Almost good enough to eat" grandfather Alonzo said just as we got to the second floor. Yuck! What do you say to that? "Er mmm thanks?" It came out more like a question. He chuckled, his walking cane making a tap-tap noise as we walked down the empty hallway. “Answer me Dolores, did any of those little boys give you a hard time? Touch you? I would be happy to make them loose it” "Nothing I couldn't handle" Touch me? Weird. Glad we were already at my door. Wouldn't have to answer any questions."You are so special my dear Lola. So very special you have no idea" grandfather Alonzo whispered. "Grandfather Alonzo could you please tell my mother I decided to retire for the evening?" I asked, a sweet smile tugging at my lips. "Of course my dear" he said
Looking at the mirror I see a dark gray eyes, perfectly plucked eyebrows and pink painted lush lips. A perfectly beautified face. My dark black brown hair was pulled into a slick bun at the top of my head. My hair looks shiny like soft silk.
For the next three hours I was introduced to so many people from my new family. I'd just manage to escape saying I needed a drink. Snatching off a glass of brown liquid. I took a sip and almost choked almost spat it out. "Well, hello there beautiful, you look smoking" a guy said from walking in front of me. He was quite young, around my age. But really attractive
Dominko closed the door soundlessly behind him before letting me down. Not wanting to be so close to him I moved away looking at anywhere else in the room but him. He walks towards me with lethal grace, it was everything I could do to not pray for the earth to open up and swallow me. I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding when he walked past me to the other side of the room. But damn him! he was just d
I realize my fingers are trailing up his strong shoulders then into his thick soft black hair, my lips followed the movement of his, Pure instinct took over. Our lips moved together. When his tongue licked over mine, the action coaxing, I mimicked the action, slowly at first trying to follow his lead. He groaned against my lips, I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips when he bit down gently on my lower lip.  
I come awake slowly. I have exams today... My finals are almost up. Shit! I hate exams. Why are exams even a thing? Warmth surrounds me. My dorm bed has never been so comfy. l snuggled deeper into my pillow. A pillow that seemed to be made of rocks but is incredibly smooth. And has a