Chapter 02

VANCE'S POV

"LETS Date-"

"I have a date later-" I interrupted what I was saying when I could keep up with what Steven was saying, "so I won't be able to eat with you," I continued in surprise.

My voice weakened at the last thing I said, I felt like I wanted to retract what I said.

I was devastated when I seemed to catch a glimpse of the pain in his eyes when I said that.

I was staring at where I was standing as he stepped closer to me.

We were only one step closer when he stopped. I could see his chest lift.

"I want to take you out co'z I want you," he stared into my eyes. "For now, lets date first," he whispered and hoarsely.

I prayed that he would take back what he said and say it that he was just joking.

Go on say it!

It was as if I could be deafened by the force of my heartbeat.

"You heard me?"  he insisted, "I want you."

I shook my head and averted my eyes.

I took a deep breath.

What is happening to me? What kind of impersonation is he doing? Why am I paying so much?

My mind and heart argued.

My heart wants to believe but my mind says that maybe it's just a fraud to catch me or to destroy me.

I acted laughing.

He took a deep breath, blinking briefly to calm himself, "I felt like I'm going to explode everytime you are near at me."

Try it harder!

I like what he says but that's not a reason for me to give up. For me to expose to him what I really am.  I kept it from many for four years and i want to kept it again!

"I want to touch you. I want to feel you-"

"That's bullshit Dude!" I cut him off, my tone was rude as if I am ready to hit him again if he still speak. "Do you see me wearing a floral dress right now? Fuck, what are you saying?! We're both men!"

I was surprised by his reaction. Instead of being serious, he showed a frugal smile.

"Well, your eyes and gestures can't shout what you're saying. How you look and breathe in front of me. I feel like we both feel the same way."

Now, I don’t know what else to react. I don’t know what to say as if I’m dumbfounded at the moment.

Shit! am I obvious?

I remember he was good at acting in front of Wena earlier and I'm sure he's doing the same to me now.

I smiled.

I can also act in front of him to end this. So, that I can save myself from falling and exposing my self to him. He obviously has a hint of what I am now.

But how did he know?

"You're thinking about me is wrong," I denied what he was thinking.

He grinned even more as he bit his lip.

Oh shit! He is confusing my mind! Why won't he give in to me?

I stepped closer to him. Very close. My heart is still beating faster. I felt that I also hear his heartbeat or is it really just my dream that he feels the same way?

I also want to be close to him. So, I can smell his scent. Even now.

My eyes dropped to his lips.

Shit! that seems tempting...

"If you're not a man maybe I can allow you to satisfy your desire in me," I said softly.

"You don't want women-"

"Even if I like men. What you think won't happen because I don't like you."

I'm going to die of a heart attack if you are!

I try my best to lie.

I followed his gaze as he spat on his lips.

I felt the warmth of both my cheeks in embarrassment when he caught my eyes watching it.

I backed away, "Just find someone else-"

He gave me a strong blow to the jaw before I could finish what I was saying.

I was shaking. I also fell to the floor.

Ouch! I want to scream and cry like a little pretty girl!

He approached me then squatting in front of me.

I was surprised when he touched my chin and brought my face to his.

I saw the bitterness and sadness in his eyes.

I held my breath when his eyes fell on my lips and he wiped it with his big finger.

I was shocked but I felt it and then he let me go.

"Now, where even," he said bringing his thumb to his lips.

I was stunned.

He grinned before finally leaving me fainting. I couldn't stand so I just lay down on the grass.

I stared at the clouds.

"Vance! Are you okay?" Wena and Davion approached me.

Am I okay?

I just nodded and closed my eyes. I felt the throbbing and speed of my heart.

I took a deep breath when I open my eyes. I no longer pay attention to what they say.

"Can you guys, step aside?" that was all I could say.  

Because their faces are blocking the clouds.

"The clouds is so beautiful," I said.

"What?" they said together.

Haha! I think Im going crazy!

I AM a working student but I can't go to work now because of my bruises and wounds. When the manager saw how I looked, he immediately told me not to go in until the wound and bruise on my face had healed. 

I work at a fast food chain and sometimes a freelance writer. I regret that I should have been paid at times when I could not go to work. But even so I can't get angry and blame Steven because I'm actually happy that I met him today.

I live alone and I am the only one supporting for my college education expenses. My family who lives in the province and I don't get along well now. That's why the family I am consider now are my friends. 

Wena, Calvin and Davion and I are now together in the apartment where I am staying while we wait for Braxton to come. We will have a dinner together tonight.

Calvin and Davion looked on, obviously not believing what I was saying. We are now talking about what happened to Steven and me earlier.

"That's what happened, I think I insulted him because I offered him money as damages so he punched me," I insisted.

"Is that all really?"

I was nervous at Davion's question.

"Didn't he threaten you?" Calvin added.

"No!" I answer immediately.

We stopped talking for a moment when Wena arrived with a tray of food. The two helped set the table as I remembered what Steven had said earlier.

"I want to take you out co'z i want you. For now, lets date first."

I decided not to tell them about that. I'm still under shock. I am still stunned every time I think of what Steven told me.

My world actually shook when he answered my question of what he wanted to happen.

"Take you out."

Those words are so simple to hear that it means he just invites me to eat out. But why do I feel there is a deeper meaning to what he said?

It was as if Steven had given me a signal to expose my true identity. That what I could love and dream of was also a man like him.

I smiled as I remembered again how Steven said he wanted me.

I felt the pleasure of my feelings about what he said because the first time I saw him I liked him already. But I don't want to expect what he told me is true.

So I decided to keep it to myself. I think it's better to pretend that it didn't happen than to keep hoping that he really likes me.

I don't want to think that's possible even if we first met.

I also don’t let go of my suspicion that he’s possibly just playing me to destroy or disturb my silent world.

But why? Is it for revenge? Is he the brother or a boyfriend of the woman I hurt emotionally because I don’t like them?

"Ouch!" I suddenly cried when I felt the pain in the wound and bruise on my lips.

The newcomer Braxton pressed my hand there.

"I thought you were enjoying Steven's punch to you so I pressed your wound," he sat in front of me, "you look so happy."

Braxton sat in the middle of Calvin and Davion while Wena sat next to me.

The others laughed.

I looked like a sulking girl. I can only do it in front of them.

"Im not!" my defense.

Moments later, we all focused on food first.

"Why didn't anyone tell me right away about the trouble that happened earlier?" Braxton opens the conversation after we eat.

Braxton looked at us one by one. I drank water again.

Why did his tone sound like a huge commotion had happened?

"It's just a misunderstanding," I replied.

"Don't the troubles begin with misunderstanding?" Braxton asked again.

Calvin shrugged, "I just found out what happened to Anne."

Anne was his co-officer on the student council.

I raised an eyebrow as I imagined the distance of Anne's course to the people who had been there before. It means the distance of its department is far to know that immediately.

"How did she find out? Is she hanging out on another course?"

“Nah! she just knows the rumors and gossip on campus,” Calvin replied immediately.

"What? Rumor has it on campus what happened to Steven and me? Did the news spread immediately?" I asked in surprise.