Chapter one

There are three rules to being a stripper.

Always act like you enjoy it while dancing with the pole...and if you do enjoy it, good for you. 

Always give most of the attention to the one who is craving for it. The whistling one. He'd give you a gold tooth when he is done slapping all the money to you pantie strap or cleavage.

Never have feelings for a customer.

"The Masked Seducer, everyone!" Comes my closing and I thankfully end with a carousel straddle, earning more whistles and cheering before I  slide down the pole, blowing a kiss to the bearded man with a cowboy hat as I seductively leave the stage.

Backstage has always been my favorite part. Sighing with exhaustion, I walk over to my makeup side of the long mirror and sit down, removing the dollar bills from my cleavage, bra strap, and pantie strap.

200 dollars.

Okay. We can work with that for now. I yank off my mask and wig at the same time, avoiding my reflection in the mirror in front of me. 

I hated this part. I hated seeing me Marcella Jensen in a stripper changing room. Hated the fact that I'm still the one wiggling my butt for money, even though I put on a mask and a red wig. 

I pull off my heels and change to my normal clothes as I grab my bag and jacket.

Do you love this? Is that why you won't get a real job?

Tyler's angry voice echoes in my head and I slip on my earphones as I make my way out the back door to the streets of Orlando.

The late drinkers are still out, whistling with their alcoholic breath while leaning against the wall of the building, others are lighting whatever they've gotten their hands on and the stench of the smoke reminds me of the first time I got the job working here.

They had been clawing at me from every corner and Tyler had given me a hell of a look when he saw the bruises.

Get another job. 

He had persuaded. 

Anything.

He had begged. But there had been no time. No time for interviews, or little pay given to waiters at the restaurants. 

And we needed the money. He needed it most for college funds and we had to pay rent.

I couldn't risk waiting for a 'respectable' job with good pay while my brother got kicked out from his dorm and we had gotten the third eviction notice.

This job was our saving grace...and still is.

He just had to understand. 

As if on cue, my phone rings out loud and I open it to see a text from Ty.

Ty: •Where are you? Isn't your time over?• 

I linger on the message a little longer to decide if he is just irritated that I'm spending so much time dancing with poles or if he is genuinely worried about me.

Ty: •Marcy?•

I smile contentedly at the second text. 

Okay.

Definitely worried.

Me: •I'm almost home. Around the block•

He doesn't reply but I can sense him staring out the window by the time I get to the apartment building. The doorman, Greg, gives me a small, pitiful smile and I'm all but used to it as he opens the door for me. His receding hairline seems to get more obvious with his whitish, grey hair.

"Mornin' Greg." I say.

"Marcy. How are you doing?" He says as I make my way to the elevator. 

"Good." I say before the doors slide close and I hit the 3rd-floor button, needing to escape our nightly routine of pity conversation. 

Greg had been working here since the big incident and way before that. He was like an old relative that knew too much. 

Tyler is watching a tv show with an uninterested look when I walk in and I notice the abandoned flat carton of leftover pizza to his left.

Sighing, I pick up the pizza box and put it in the fridge.

"We can't afford to waste food like this anymore Ty. You can't just leave the pizza open and unattended to."

"You missed visiting hours with dad." He says, still staring at the tv and I look up with a guilty sigh.

God, help me. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I have to do extra hours at the club, I told you that last week." I say and slip out of my jacket as Tyler gets up from the couch to turn to me.

I can see clear anger in his eyes, but what else is new? Putting my fingers to my temples, I do a slow massage as I can feel exhaustion and sleep weighing on me.

"Listen, can we just discuss this tomorrow? It's almost 2 am. You should be asleep anyway, you have lectures."

"So now we're talking about appropriate sleeping hours? Because you're way out of line." He says, his death glare stinging me in combination with my brimming guilt.

How could I have forgotten Wednesday was our visiting day with dad?

"Ty, please. I'm sorry, okay? I feel terrible but--"

"Whatever." He says and walks away, taking his cellphone with him. 

I stand, staring at the tv as he disappears into the short hallway and his footsteps are followed with a loud bang of his door, making me flinch a little.

Okay. The usual angry fit is over...but this time, I deserved it. I slump tiredly on the couch and stare straight at the tv, my mind reeling.

Last week, we had both gone over to 'Harmony Nursing Home' on time and we'd spent a good 2 hours with dad, even though he had barely said much.

He never says much.

I remember with a sigh as I drop my head in my hands. And then the nurse had taken me aside with the same look Greg gives me.

'I'm sorry it costs so much, but he wasn't responding to former treatment and we had no choice.'

And with that, she had slipped me the bill for his medication. Coupling that with his accommodation, rent, groceries, and Tyler's college funds, $600 is nothing but a small step to a big issue.

Determined not to bother too much, at least not for tonight anyway, I get up and switch off the tv. Then I begin to straighten out the living room, picking stray clothes hanging on the couch, our only furniture in the living room, and also on the breakfast stools in the kitchen when I catch sight of the telephone. 

Guilt is still eating on my nerves as I stare at it, weighing my choices to just try and call or not. It's not a difficult decision and I pick the phone in a second, dailing with shaky hands.

"Harmony Nursing Home." The cheerful female voice says on the other line after picking on the first ring.

"Yes, I'm calling because of my dad, Harry Jensen. I just want to know how he is doing."

"I'm sorry, Miss Jensen, but it's not possible to speak to anyone here at this time. You'd have to call by 9 am tomorrow."

"Yes, yes. I know that. I just want to hear from you how his health status is?"

"Again, I'm sorry. But I'm not authorized to give out their health status. I just take the late-night calls for emergency and take messages if necessary."

I shut my eyes for a moment, disappointment and guilt causing them to water and suddenly making it difficult for me to speak.

"Okay. Please just take a message for me?" I croak/whimper into the speaker.

"Of course." The female says.

"Just tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't visit, and I love him. From his daughter, Marcy."

"Will do." She says and I can hear a faint scribbling in the background. 

"Any other thing I can help you with?" She asks and I shake my head, forgetting she can't see me.

"No, thank you." I say and hang up, staring at the telephone.

"They won't let you speak to anyone past 9 pm." Tyler's voice comes from behind me, making me jerk a little before I turn to face him.

"I thought you were asleep." I say, wiping my eyes as he walks over to me.

"You know I always wait up for you until I know you're asleep first." He says, sitting next to me at the breakfast table.

His eyes are void of the anger they held earlier and are now staring at me with concern.

Sometimes I forget I'm older than him by 3 years when he talks to me with that overprotective tone and looks at me like I'm his little sister.

"I'm sorry for making a fit out of your coming late home. It's just, I hate it when this job of yours makes you miss important stuff like today." He says.

"This job of mine is the only thing keeping us from getting thrown out of here Ty. It's our saving grace and you know that." I say, getting a little annoyed that he still doesn't want to drop the subject about changing the job.

"There are better places, jobs, and services that--"

"That don't pay as much as I'm getting per day. I can't risk taking a chance with the rent, your college funds, groceries, and bills."

"I don't need the funds, you have better choices. I know it." He says, raising his voice and getting up.

"No, I don't." I say, getting up as well.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!" I say and in a swift moment, I dig out the crumpled piece of paper in my back pocket and throw it at him.

Exhaustion takes over immediately and I slump back on the breakfast stools I was sitting on while Ty spreads out the paper.

I watch his eyes go wide as he stares at the bill.

"And that's just for the medication. Then there is also for his accommodation and our well being and--"

My voice breaks, stopping me midway as I bury my face in my hands and Tyler has his arms around me in a second.

"No, Marcy. Don't cry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so hard on you, I know you're doing your best. I'm sorry. I just don't like the fact that you do this disgraceful job for me and dad and..." 

He lifts my face to look at him.

"Tell you what, I can't keep leaving you to do this for yourself, I don't care what you say. I'll get a job."

What??!

"No." I say immediately. 

"Nothing too serious, I swear. Maybe a waiter in a restaurant."

"No!"

"But I can't let you handle this by yourself. We're in this together."

"But I made the promise to dad. Tyler I'm fine, it'll get better. Just focus on your studies and you'll graduate in a few years and all this will be over."

His eyes are evident with anger but they dissolve almost immediately and I can tell he is also tired of fighting.

"Now go to bed, okay." I say.

"You go to bed first. Take a shower and just rest up okay?" He says and plants a kiss on my forehead. 

Getting up, I reach for the pile of clothes I was holding but Tyler beats me to it.

"Go. Get some rest, I'll clean up." He says and I smile a little as I realize how much I need a bath and a bed.

"Goodnight. I love you." Tyler says behind me as I head towards the door and I turn to him.

"To the moon and back." I complete and he smiles broadly. 

I take off my clothes immediately I get to my room and I let the tears fall.

Who am I kidding? Tyler will always be against my job and I'll always be wishing I could change it but God knows I can't. 

Dropping out of college the minute Dad was moved to the Nursing Home was my first act by instinct. Then no one had desired to hire a college drop out and the double shifts at McDonald's weren't enough.

The third eviction notice had shaken me beyond fear, then Ty got kicked out of his dorm when he couldn't pay and then there was the promise.

The one I had said in quivering tears as dad got wheeled away in a wheelchair.

"Look after yourself and your brother. No matter what. Promise me."

Dad had said in a raspy voice as his shaky hands grasped my face. 

"I promise." I had wailed in tears. Then the paramedics had taken him away. 

"I promise." I say into the silence of my bathroom as tears take over in assistance with the dreadful memory.

"I promise you, dad."