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NATALIE POV
My mom had planned everything for her burial. All I had to do was sign some papers. Then two days later, before I had even come to terms with her death, I attended her tiny funeral service. I didn't participate in her viewing. Instead, I sat outside in the hall. Ryan had sat outside with me, silently providing me comfort, which I felt numb to.Somehow yesterday, the Wilsons had convinced me to move in with them and put most of the apartment's stuff into storage. They even hired people to pack everything and move it to a storage facility.
My whole life has changed in three days. All my plans have disappeared. It feels like my life is gone, even though it's just my stranger of a mom who is gone.
At her funeral, I hadn't realized they were starting to lower her down into the dark until Ryan asked me if I was ready to go. I didn't reply; I just started walking towards their SUV.
A couple of days later, Mr. Wilson asked me to speak to him in his home office.
"Have a seat, Nat," Mr. Wilson says kindly, gesturing to a comfy-looking chair.
I sit down and look at him expectantly. I haven't been talking much, which doesn't seem to bother them.
"Well, Nat, since I changed your address and home phone information at school, people have been calling me," Mr.Wilson states slowly as if he is worried I won't understand him.
"What people," I ask quickly.
Mom and I never had anyone around us besides her boyfriends. So I don't know who would be reaching out to me now.
"Well, for one, a bank. Your mom had a safety deposit box that they need you to go close out. And then a couple also contacted me, saying you are their granddaughter. They weren't at your mom's funeral, so I wanted to talk to you about them," Mr. Wilson explains calmly.
I instantly feel rage at the mention of those people. I cross my arms and almost growl out. But I know Mr. Wilson, and he likes respect at all times, so I take a deep breath calming myself down before I answer.
"They are judgy jerks," I state, knowing that isn't calm enough for Mr. Wilson.
He just raises an eyebrow signaling me to elaborate on my immature comment.
"They kicked my mom out at 17 when she refused to abort me. They never reached out to her, and the only reason I know that much is because of a school project in third grade. We were supposed to interview our grandparents, so I asked mom about them," I say in a rush.
Mr. Wilson's eyebrows lift so high they aren't even visible under his hair. He sighs and seems to think about my response for a moment."Well, they said they wanted to get to know you. Are you comfortable with that," Mr. Wilson asks me cautiously, and I immediately shake my head.
"No, I dont want to be around people who wanted me dead," I say while staring Mr. Wilson straight in the eye.
He nods his head for a few moments before sitting back in his chair.
"Natalie, I understand you're angry and hurt, but everyone must learn how to forgive," he says softly.
For the first time, I scowl at the man in front of me before basically verbally exploding.
"What the hell do you know? You have this perfect life and perfect family. I don't have to forgive two people who didn't give a crap about their child or me. They didn't care about us until now!!!! Why do they care now? Because she is dead? That's not love! That's guilt. They want to talk to me now because they feel guilty," I scream out, banging my palms on his shiny desk.
I feel tears stream down my face, but I don't wipe them. I don't care right now if he sees me cry. Mr.Wilson gets up and comes around the desk. He sits in the chair next to me and grabs my hand. He begins patting it awkwardly.
"Natalie, you won't get the answer to those questions unless you ask them. You need to heal, and healing starts with letting go of the past enough to talk to them," he says calmly.
I shrug while wiping my runny nose on my hoodie sleeve.
"It's something to think about, ok," he says before standing back up.
He returns to the other side of his desk and sits down. I feel guilty yelling at the guy who took me in. He must think I'm a complete brat.
"So Nat, when do you want to close your mom's safety deposit box? The manager who keeps calling acts like they need the box immediately," he says with a smile and an eye roll.
He is trying to lighten the mood after I completely disrespected him like father, like son. I smile and roll my eyes back to break the tension.
Why are they so nice? It makes me feel so bad when I lose my temper.
"Umm, can we go tomorrow? I want to get back to school Monday," I say, slightly embarrassed about my behavior.
I need my routine back. I need to feel some control again.
"Sure, my vacation ends after tomorrow, and that will be the last thing we need to settle, I believe." He replies, looking happy.
As soon as I exit, I see Ryan waiting for me in the hall. The concern is all over his face."Hey," I say while giving him my fake smile.
Ryan instantly knows it isn't a genuine smile and comes to hug me.
"I'm fine, okay, just stop," I say before he can engulf me in the hug.
He looks at me closely. I see sadness and worry etched in his beautiful eyes.
"Ryan, I'm fine. I just want to work on the school work you brought home for me," I say too quickly.
It's his turn to force a smile.
"Okay, let me know if you need help on the algebra," he says before walking away like a wounded puppy.
Why can't he tell that he has me wrapped around his finger? Ryan is the best man on this planet in my eyes. His compassion over this past week has made me melt. But I know I can't tell him I like him. I mean, I'm the judgemental, hot-tempered, butthole of a friend he views as a sister. It's just breaking my heart more, knowing he is too good for me. Too perfect!!
He notices all the little things about everyone. I didnt notice that my own mom was battling cancer. On a scale of 1-10, match for Ryan, I am a 0.I walk to the guest room, which is now my room. When I enter, I spot my picture. Mom and I only had one picture of us taken formally. I was about 5 or 6 in the photo, and mom was beautiful and young-looking.
It is the only thing I added to the room beside my clothes, toiletries, and makeup. I let the movers box everything else up. I figured if the stuff was out of sight, it was out of mind.
*****
Mr.Wilson and I show up at the bank at 1 pm the next day to empty my mom's safety deposit box. The manager takes me to an office and unlocks my mom's box."I'm so sorry for your loss Ms. Marshall. I will be outside the office. When you are finished, just open the door." He says politely before exiting.
I open the box slowly. I have no idea what is here or why she would need one of these. The first thing I see in the box is a note.
Dear, NatalieI'm sorry, baby girl. I tried to win, but the cancer was too strong. They are giving me a couple more months. I'm still fighting. I will go down swinging for you. I dont want you thinking I'm weak. I did get my funeral taken care of with money my parents have sent me over the years. There is so much I need to say, but I just don't know how. I wish we had been closer. I know it's my fault we aren't. Please forgive me for my selfishness over the years. I had so much self-pity I pushed you away, and I didnt even forgive my idiot parents when they begged to meet you. There is $10,000 in this box for you from them. Achieve all your goals, baby girl. You are the stronger out of us—my little twin.Love momMy heart immediately breaks for my mom. She knew I thought she was weak. She knew I felt like she indulged in self-pity. She read me like a book while I didn't even care to try.I wipe my tears just to have them fall heavier as I see the other items in the box. Pictures of mom and me when I was little. Back when she called me "little twin." Back when I always tried to be just like her.There is also a bracelet I made for her in first grade for mother's day and, true to her word, $10,000. When I finally cried my last tears, I put the bracelet, pictures, and letter in my purse. Then I opened the office door.
Mr. Davidson cones back into the room with a hesitant smile.
"Sir, I need to open a saving account with the money my mother left me," I state while returning his slight smile.
"Of course, Ms. Marshall," he replies.
Thirty minutes later, Mr.Wilson and I are driving to the Wilson's, and I can't wait to hit my pillow and sob.RYAN POVIt's been two months since Natalie lost her mom and started staying with us. She doesn't talk much, and she never smiles. Mom and I are extremely worried about her, but dad says to give her space.Every day she comes home, does her homework, eats dinner with us, showers, and goes to her room for the night. She is overly polite and formal with all of us. Even the girls can't get a laugh or genuine smile from her.I miss my best friend. Football season is over, so I have nothing to distract myself with. We didn't win state this year. The loss hit me hard. My last high school game ended with a loss. Natalie quit soccer as soon as she returned to school.When I asked her about it, she only shrugged.We still eat lunch together, but a couple of my buddies now sit at the table too. I can tell Natalie dislikes them. She never engages into the conversations, but sometimes I catch her rolling her eyes.Today is the same as usual. Nat is
Natalie POVI can't believe how sweet he is. I watch him as we gather the soccer balls that I have been kicking for over an hour.He helps me unhook the school's net and fold it. He does it all with a small smile in the freezing wind and it amazes me. His whole family amazes me. They aren't afraid to show every emotion they feel. Whether they need to cry or laugh. They share it with each other.His sisters are complete angels. They are glued at the hip and I've only seen them get upset with each other once. The disagreement lasted for about 5 minutes.Lacy spent longer apologizing then they had actually spent mad at each other. It was beautiful.I dont deserve their kindness. My anger boils so close to the edge all the time. I feel like a complete misfit in their perfect home. I just yelled and cussed at the best person in my life.Why am I like this?When we finally finish putting away my stress reliever, I grab Ryan's hand and
THIRD-PERSON POVTerri and Rick get ready for bed in silence. Each thinking about Ryan and Natalie. Terri brushes her hair, washes her face, and pulls on her favorite silk nightie.Rick washes the remaining gel out of his hair and pulls on a pair of old basketball shorts. He rubs his neck with both hands, trying to ease the knots."Rick, honey, come sit in front of me. I will do that," Terri says while patting the bed in front of herself.Rick loves his wife's massages. No matter what, they always seem to ease the tension in his neck and shoulders."Today was a tough day for Natalie," Terri states."Do you think she will regret Ryan kissing her," Rick asks his wife?When it comes to emotions and understanding, Terri is the master. She pulled him from a deep depression after his parents' death. And when he felt like the world was crumbling in on them when the girls needed so many surgeries as newborns, it was his wife that
NATALIE POV Ryan opens the car door for me like a true gentleman, and I slide into the seat while blushing. I began to panic as he rounds the back of the car. What if I do something embarrassing? How do you even act on a date? Once Ryan gets in the car, I am relieved to see that he is just as nervous as me. He keeps having to wipe his palms on his pants, which is definitely one of his habits when he is nervous. I smile while looking at my lap. Okay, say something, Natalie, be brave. "I am excited about Mexican Food," I say quickly before smiling at him. "This isn't true Mexican food," Ryan says with a smirk. There's my best friend. "Okay, okay, I'm excited for this chain restaurant food that passes for Mexican food. Because it is delicious," I state dramatically, and Ryan laughs. I love that we could slip into an easy conversation. I know if I were going on my first date with someone that wasn't my best
RYAN POV I open Nat's door and hold her hand as we walk up the porch steps. Since we live together, I don't know if I should try for the good night kiss now or walk her to her room. I must have frozen at the front door while I was weighing my options because Nat pulls and squeezes my hand a little. "Ryan, are you okay," Nat asks with concern in her voice. I feel my ears flame up for the hundredth time tonight as I try to look calm. I keep repeating to myself that I've already kissed her before, but that does nothing for my nerves. "Umm, yeah, I'm fine. I was just going to ask if I could kissyouugoodnight," I ask with the last part coming out fast and high-pitched. I clear my throat to repeat my question slowly and clearly, "I was wondering if I could kiss you goodnight?" "Sure," Nat says, blushing a little bit. I place both my hands on the sides of her face and lean down while staring into he
RYAN POV She kissed me. She kissed ME!! I slowly unfreeze as a smile consumes my face. I immediately start doing a happy dance. Giggles interrupt my glee, and I freeze all over again. "What are you doing, Ryan," Stacy asks from behind me. "Celebrating my date with Nat," I say while my ears go red, and I turn to look at my little sister. "You are so funny, Ryan. Lacy and I are waiting for you to tell us goodnight. Hurry. Hurry," Stacy says, grabbing my hand and dragging me to their room. After telling the girls goodnight and giving them their "special big brother hugs," I head to my room. Stacy has called my bedtime hugs that since we were super little. It has become a family tradition, and to be honest, I don't think I could sleep without hugging my sisters. I launch myself onto my bed and smile into my pillow. I can't believe how perfect today went. I have kissed my dream girl three times. I am dating my dream girl. And my parents
RYAN POV "Natalie saw me naked" keeps repeatedly replaying in my head. I feel like mom and dad secretly know, maybe even the girls. I'm frozen sitting next to Nat while the girls are behind us. Mom and dad are talking to each other happy, but I can't hear anything over the blood rushing in my ears. Natalie just glanced at me as we pulled into the parking lot. I feel my ears getting redder. She looks stunning. She looks like spring in the middle of winter. A little drop of sunshine in a yellow dress with her hair up showing off her gorgeous neck. All the sudden I feel Nat grab my hand. I look at her with my eyes wide. She smiles a little. "I'm embarrassed too. But I'm really nervous so pull it together tough guy," Nat whispers with her eyes pleading. I realize her face screams nervous. She has the hand I'm not holding clinched and her forehead has sweat even though the car isnt warm at all. I feel like a bad boyfriend. I know big bu
4 MONTHS LATER DAY OF PROM NATALIE POV Ryan and I just celebrated our four-month anniversary. I feel so much better about everything. I am back to playing soccer even though it is the off-season. The grieving group has helped me so much. Cynthia is now one of my best friends. Even my grades are excellent. Ryan and I accepted scholarships to Texas Christian University. Which is close to home, so we won't have to travel or stay on campus. Ryan wants to work in ministry while I am going to pursue my nursing plan. He will play on their football team, but he says it's for fun, not his dream career. I plan on trying out for the soccer team, but I won't be upset if I don't make it. I'm scared of the amount of homework I will be receiving. And soccer could stress me out and ruin my 3.5 GPA plan. Tonight the love of my life is taking me to prom. Ryan has been my rock. He has led me through my worst and best days. I couldn't imagine my life without him by my si