It's intense.
Everyone in the VIP room and everyone down on the field and the bleachers is beyond stressed. The players are all dirty from throwing themselves on the dirty grass and sweaty from all the running around they'd been doing. Michaela is holding on to my hand so tight it feels numb. It's so quiet.
The camera points at Ezra and the commentator says something about how even he is stressed.
He's sweating and rocking his body side to side slightly. I know he's got his thinking cap on when he does that. I smile gently because they have no idea what's coming. He's about to blow their minds.
Two minutes on the clock and the score is a tie. The players line up facing each other then bend down so that their chests are facing the ground. The opposing team has the ball.
Soon the players start tackling each other roughly fighting for the ball that's now passed in the air to be caught by their team player but is instead caught by Ezra.
They don't call him the lightning for nothing because as soon as he gets the ball, he passes everyone in lightning speed, barely getting touched then soon hits touchdown, making the whole stadium roar in celebration.
"Did you see that? Ezra Michaels has done it again! Amazing!" The commentator practically shouts yet he's barely audible because there's so much noise from the beyond exhilarated fans.
Everyone is so surprised yet not so surprised at the touchdown. It's like they know this is what he does but it's amazing every time.
Ezra doesn't just practice football, he studies it. He puts psychology into it and that's what makes him so amazing at it.
I stand on the glass window looking around hoping to catch him but I don't. His teammates have probably carried him away like they always do.
Crowds of people are running on the field and there's now music playing in the stadium.
I tell Michaela that I'm leaving after a while. I do this so she can go and join her husband in celebration on the field. If I don't leave then she won't too and I don't want that.
'You were amazing my love. So proud of you.' I text Ezra as I make my way to the Land Rover. I don't expect him to respond anytime soon as I know his phone's probably nowhere to be found right now. I wait for a while knowing Mickey's probably celebrating with everyone. He left the car open for me and I'm thankful.
I pick up the card Ezra wrote for me with a smile. This is the man the world is crazy about right now, his schedule is crazy busy yet he's got time to write me a cute letter. I know I'm hard on him but he tries.
I met him before he started blowing up and now he's this huge celebrity so obviously certain things are going to change. He won't be picking me up and dropping me off after games anymore and I guess that's fine.
As long as he keeps me in his heart.
About an hour later, a very excited Mickey shows up.
"Hey, lady of the night." He says to me and I roll my eyes jokingly at him. He calls me that every time Ezra wins.
"Where is he?" I ask him and he just shrugs his shoulders then says,
"Everyone's probably fighting for his attention right now."
Is it selfish that I want him all to myself right now? I'm understanding he's got millions of fans wanting his attention but when will I get mine?
"Yeah." I respond with a chuckle hoping it doesn't sound too fake.
Mickey has the radio playing in the background of what's happening at the stadium right now as we drive. I feel bad that he's not there because of me.
I don't like staying after his games. I know he wants me to be there while he plays, he says something about how knowing I'm there makes him good at what he does. His words, not mine.
But after he's all done, I don't stay around for the celebration. I like to celebrate with just him at home. Not with a bunch of people I don't know. Even though Michaela insists to stay with me, I know she would rather go and celebrate with her husband. Understandably. The only reason I'm not there celebrating with Ezra right now is because I can't.
I thank Mickey after he's dropped me off and I make my way into my house where my dad too is celebrating the win.
"Oh Hunny." He says as he approaches me to pick me up.
"Dad, I'm not 10." I nag him making him put me back down.
"Are you ok sweetheart?" He can always sense my uneasiness.
"Yea of course dad. Did you see how amazing he was?" I say enthusiastically and he hesitates for a bit before,
"He's a damn machine!" He says going back to the screen where he seemingly has people live on a video call and I laugh slightly at that.
The world we live in today.
I make my way upstairs to my room and head straight to the shower. I spend a lot of time in there before coming out and spending another hour on my hair, face, and body. I'd decided to have a self-care day.
It's now 8 in the evening and he hasn't called. I don't want to call him because I'll seem like I'm nagging him. I know he's probably out with his teammates right now but a simple message telling me he's out or something would've been much appreciated.
I always feel guilty when I have these thoughts. I know what's happening in his life right now was inevitable and I want to play the understanding girlfriend role so bad, but how do I play the role when he's never around anymore?
We went from seeing each other every day, to a few times a week and now it's just some days. I wish he would understand the toll it's taking on me just like I'm understanding this is his life now.
After getting myself all comfy, I climb my bed and get ready to have an early night.
I get on I*******m to see what my friends are up to and I like all their pictures. Ezra's win is all over my feed and so I decide to just put my phone down.
But before doing that, I click on the Twitter notification feed that says, 'Ezra and mystery girl kissing'.
I feel my heart stop for just a bit.
I'd thought about when the world would know about us a few times before. Either he'd decide to just tell everyone or like in this case, people would just find out. It's always a distant thought that goes away as soon as it comes and so I've never thought about what I'd do if it happened.
I mean I guess we live in a small world that's also very digital. A picture was bound to be taken one of these days.
But what happens now? I'm suddenly understanding why Ezra wanted to keep this a secret. I don't know if I'll be able to handle that life. The life of constant scrutiny and judgment.
But all those worries suddenly disappear as I stare at the man who owns my heart kissing someone else. Someone else who's not me.
It's been two days, he hasn't called.The picture was pretty clear but I'm needing him to tell me there was some sort of a misunderstanding. I need him to tell me it was all a prank and that it meant nothing. Whatever lie he can come up with, I'll believe it. What I refuse to believe is that the love of my life cheated on me. My Ezra would never.I wipe the tears off my cheeks for the umpteenth time this afternoon. I'm meeting up with the girls in a bit and I can't be a mess around them. I'd been avoiding them for the two days and I haven't seen them since Bruno Steiner's party. I know they're already suspecting something is wrong and I can't afford to have them asking me questions so I need to get myself together. I'm also in no mood to think of lies so I'm really hoping I'm not left in a situation where I have no choice but to.Today I decided I need to go out, I need a distraction. I've been stuck in my room and I'm h
"Hey man what's up?" Bruno greets him after a while.Ezra greets him back with a hug but his eyes stay on mine. Bruno notices but doesn't say anything. We've all been in one place at a time multiple times before but we've never said anything to each other. Ezra and I always act like we don't know each other around people so I know Bruno finds it weird how he's looking at me. Like I carry the key to his heart.I don't look back at him because I didn't realize how mad I was until now. I'm afraid of what I'll do if I look into his eyes. I can feel the anger radiating from within at the sight of him. I was sad before but now I feel aggravated. He cheated on me, how could he?"Hey I'm gonna go look for Liz." I say to Bruno already standing up to leave. I pray my voice came out calm and not shaky like the rest of me. I don't even bother to wait for him to respond before I speed
"Babe...""Baby.""Babe!!""What?!!" I practically shout at him. He knows I hate mornings. Don't wake me up if I don't need to be up. I'll wake up when my body is ready to."The boys are coming now. You gotta hide.""What?" My ears must be really playing tricks on me because I thought I heard him say I have to hide. I turn my body to the other side then go back to sleep before,"Oh shxxt, they're here. Babe, go into the bathroom!" He shouts already making his way out of the bedroom. My sleep goes away immediately as I sit upright on his bed. I don't even know how to express the pain that's in my chest right now.Before getting this house, Ezra lived in a small apartment. It wasn't fancy but it was perfect. We'd used to spend the whole day and sometimes weekends just lazying around and watching movies. Never have I ever worried about peopl
"Hey baby, I've been worried sick. Are you ok?" is the first thing he asks as soon as I answer the phone. About 60 missed calls later. He actually does sound so worried that I feel a bit bad for ignoring him the rest of yesterday. Only just a bit."Yeah I'm ok babe." I say to him honestly. I feel a lot better today. My chilled evening with Cody helped me out, it always does.But also, hearing his voice oddly calms me, despite him being responsible for the bad mood to start with. He doesn't ask why I disappeared like I did yesterday, I know it's because he knows why. This is one of the many conversations we don't have.It goes alongside the negative effects caused by the privacy of our relationship. We know what it's doing to us but we also know we can't do anything about it. So we ignore it."Will I be s
He is livid.He's gone out for a smoke about six times already in the last hour, he only smokes when he's stressed. And that's usually only two times in one night.I'm sitting next to Bruno and another guy named Sam and we're conversing about nothing important. I see him looking at me, but not so long that people start to notice.Bruno is not even flirting with me. He's a good looking guy but I'll never see him like that. There's only one guy in this world for me. Bruno and I just have a friendship forming, he honestly has nothing to worry about.'Are you ok? I'm sorry I can't stop it.' I'd texted him and of course he didn't reply. It's upsetting to me that he's always having conversations with random girls, most of which flirt with him - but I never get mad, because I know I'm the only one who owns his heart. But as soon as some guy comes and looks at
I wake up to my stomach crying in hunger at the appetizing smell that makes its way into my nostrils.I open my eyes to see a plate of badly cooked eggs and not so bad looking bacon and toast. Normally I would smile because even though he's not much of a cooker, he'll go out of his way just to make sure I'm fed.But this morning, the first words that come out of my mouth are,"Did you not see me struggling?" I know he was looking at me as I danced with him. My mind can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that he might have seen but did nothing. It's all I could think about last night, and well - now."Bruno jokes around babe. Everyone knows that." I chuckle because I did imagine him using that excuse. But it was in the furthest most impossible excuses I'd thought he'd use. I'd thought it was ridiculous even thinking of it. So I stare at the love of my life with so much pain in my heart to ask him,
We're still very much together. But I told him I needed a break.Just to calm my head and my heart from everything. It took him a while but he finally accepted it. He said as long as I come back to him. Of course I will, I always will. I realize I'm a slave to his love.It's not even just because he threatened to kill himself, but also because a life without him is a life I don't want to live. I can't even grasp the thought of him not being here anymore. I've had him in my life for so long that I don't want to picture a life where he's not there.Him wanting to kill himself served as a reminder of how much I need him.I do however hate what he did to make me stay but the thought of him not being alive any more is scary enough for me to.The couple of days that we've been apart had me thinking too much of course. Like about the fact
"Hey, are you ok?" A voice sounds forcing me to open my eyes."Yeah," I respond with a smile."Do you want me to get the driver to fetch you some clothes at home? You can stay here as long as you want." She says but I shake my head, and my smile remains."He's doing better now, I'm gonna call Mickey to come and get us a bit later on." I say and she nods her head in understanding.After I'd been by Ezra's side the whole night while he slept, I'd decided to go back downstairs to watch some tv as I couldn't sleep. I must've dozed off on the couch sometime after."Alex, I know how difficult this is for you right now." Michaela says and I look at her in a bit of confusion. How could she possibly understand what I'm going through? No one will ever understand and that's the thing. She seems to sense my ranting mind because,"Dating a football player is hard." She ex