It's intense.

Everyone in the VIP room and everyone down on the field and the bleachers is beyond stressed. The players are all dirty from throwing themselves on the dirty grass and sweaty from all the running around they'd been doing. Michaela is holding on to my hand so tight it feels numb. It's so quiet.

The camera points at Ezra and the commentator says something about how even he is stressed.

He's sweating and rocking his body side to side slightly. I know he's got his thinking cap on when he does that. I smile gently because they have no idea what's coming. He's about to blow their minds.

Two minutes on the clock and the score is a tie. The players line up facing each other then bend down so that their chests are facing the ground. The opposing team has the ball.

Soon the players start tackling each other roughly fighting for the ball that's now passed in the air to be caught by their team player but is instead caught by Ezra.

They don't call him the lightning for nothing because as soon as he gets the ball, he passes everyone in lightning speed, barely getting touched then soon hits touchdown, making the whole stadium roar in celebration.

"Did you see that? Ezra Michaels has done it again! Amazing!" The commentator practically shouts yet he's barely audible because there's so much noise from the beyond exhilarated fans.

Everyone is so surprised yet not so surprised at the touchdown. It's like they know this is what he does but it's amazing every time.

Ezra doesn't just practice football, he studies it. He puts psychology into it and that's what makes him so amazing at it.

I stand on the glass window looking around hoping to catch him but I don't. His teammates have probably carried him away like they always do.

Crowds of people are running on the field and there's now music playing in the stadium.

I tell Michaela that I'm leaving after a while. I do this so she can go and join her husband in celebration on the field. If I don't leave then she won't too and I don't want that.

'You were amazing my love. So proud of you.' I text Ezra as I make my way to the Land Rover. I don't expect him to respond anytime soon as I know his phone's probably nowhere to be found right now. I wait for a while knowing Mickey's probably celebrating with everyone. He left the car open for me and I'm thankful.

I pick up the card Ezra wrote for me with a smile. This is the man the world is crazy about right now, his schedule is crazy busy yet he's got time to write me a cute letter. I know I'm hard on him but he tries.

I met him before he started blowing up and now he's this huge celebrity so obviously certain things are going to change. He won't be picking me up and dropping me off after games anymore and I guess that's fine.

As long as he keeps me in his heart.

About an hour later, a very excited Mickey shows up.

"Hey, lady of the night." He says to me and I roll my eyes jokingly at him. He calls me that every time Ezra wins.

"Where is he?" I ask him and he just shrugs his shoulders then says,

"Everyone's probably fighting for his attention right now."

Is it selfish that I want him all to myself right now? I'm understanding he's got millions of fans wanting his attention but when will I get mine?

"Yeah." I respond with a chuckle hoping it doesn't sound too fake.

Mickey has the radio playing in the background of what's happening at the stadium right now as we drive. I feel bad that he's not there because of me.

I don't like staying after his games. I know he wants me to be there while he plays, he says something about how knowing I'm there makes him good at what he does. His words, not mine.

But after he's all done, I don't stay around for the celebration. I like to celebrate with just him at home. Not with a bunch of people I don't know. Even though Michaela insists to stay with me, I know she would rather go and celebrate with her husband. Understandably. The only reason I'm not there celebrating with Ezra right now is because I can't.

I thank Mickey after he's dropped me off and I make my way into my house where my dad too is celebrating the win.

"Oh Hunny." He says as he approaches me to pick me up.

"Dad, I'm not 10." I nag him making him put me back down.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" He can always sense my uneasiness.

"Yea of course dad. Did you see how amazing he was?" I say enthusiastically and he hesitates for a bit before,

"He's a damn machine!" He says going back to the screen where he seemingly has people live on a video call and I laugh slightly at that.

The world we live in today.

I make my way upstairs to my room and head straight to the shower. I spend a lot of time in there before coming out and spending another hour on my hair, face, and body. I'd decided to have a self-care day.

It's now 8 in the evening and he hasn't called. I don't want to call him because I'll seem like I'm nagging him. I know he's probably out with his teammates right now but a simple message telling me he's out or something would've been much appreciated.

I always feel guilty when I have these thoughts. I know what's happening in his life right now was inevitable and I want to play the understanding girlfriend role so bad, but how do I play the role when he's never around anymore?

We went from seeing each other every day, to a few times a week and now it's just some days. I wish he would understand the toll it's taking on me just like I'm understanding this is his life now.

After getting myself all comfy, I climb my bed and get ready to have an early night.

I get on I*******m to see what my friends are up to and I like all their pictures. Ezra's win is all over my feed and so I decide to just put my phone down.

But before doing that, I click on the Twitter notification feed that says, 'Ezra and mystery girl kissing'.

I feel my heart stop for just a bit.

I'd thought about when the world would know about us a few times before. Either he'd decide to just tell everyone or like in this case, people would just find out. It's always a distant thought that goes away as soon as it comes and so I've never thought about what I'd do if it happened.

I mean I guess we live in a small world that's also very digital. A picture was bound to be taken one of these days.

But what happens now? I'm suddenly understanding why Ezra wanted to keep this a secret. I don't know if I'll be able to handle that life. The life of constant scrutiny and judgment.

But all those worries suddenly disappear as I stare at the man who owns my heart kissing someone else. Someone else who's not me.

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