"Hey man what's up?" Bruno greets him after a while.
Ezra greets him back with a hug but his eyes stay on mine. Bruno notices but doesn't say anything. We've all been in one place at a time multiple times before but we've never said anything to each other. Ezra and I always act like we don't know each other around people so I know Bruno finds it weird how he's looking at me. Like I carry the key to his heart.
I don't look back at him because I didn't realize how mad I was until now. I'm afraid of what I'll do if I look into his eyes. I can feel the anger radiating from within at the sight of him. I was sad before but now I feel aggravated. He cheated on me, how could he?
"Hey I'm gonna go look for Liz." I say to Bruno already standing up to leave. I pray my voice came out calm and not shaky like the rest of me. I don't even bother to wait for him to respond before I speed walk my way as far as my legs can take me.
Tears start raining down my face as I start running to get away. I can't let anyone see me like this.
I feel so betrayed. So heartbroken.
I slow down when I feel I'm far enough but start running again when I hear him calling my name. I can sense him running toward me but I don't stop even though I don't stand a chance of getting away from him. He plays football for a living.
He clearly wanted to hide me so he can be with someone else. That makes more sense. I can't help but think how many more times has he cheated on me? How many more girls? He got caught on camera this time but what about the times he didn't get caught?
Or was I the side piece this whole time? Was I the one he was cheating with?
His voice gets closer and soon he catches up to me to my utter frustration. He grabs me as I fight to get away but he's stronger than me, he holds me tight in a hug so I don't get away. I hit him on his chest repeatedly even though I know he's not feeling the impact. At this point I'm crying so bad I can feel my breath getting heavy. I then stop hitting him and he lets us fall down slowly.
"Baby please." He whispers to me with a break in his voice.
We sit on the beach sand far away from everyone after we'd wrestled for what felt like hours. My head is against his chest and I'm surprised that I still have tears left.
"Why?" I ask barely audible. The pain is unbearable.
"I was drunk and stupid. It meant nothing, I promise." I get up from his chest to see him tearing up too. I've never seen him cry before.
"But why didn't you call me? I waited for you! I didn't care what the world was saying. I wanted to hear from you Ezra!" I'm getting frustrated. He holds my face to wipe the tears off.
"Baby I was mad at myself. I AM mad at myself for what I did to you and I didn't know how to explain it. I haven't been sleeping for the past two days because I couldn't stop thinking about you." It's true. I can see the dark circles around his eyes. He looks exhausted.
"I love you! I love you so much and I'm so sorry but I can't lose you." He says staring into my blues, with tears in his grays.
I've never in my life thought I'd ever get cheated on. I've always judged my friends when they'd get back with the guys who'd cheated on them because I didn't understand how they could trust that person again.
To me cheating was unacceptable. I'd always thought if a guy ever cheated on me, then it's goodbye forever.
But as I sit on the sand looking into his sad and now red eyes, I can't imagine myself not forgiving him. My heart melts when I see him cry because I know he's hurting too.
"I'm sorry my love." He whispers against my lips before kissing them. I don't fight him, I instead put my legs around his hips and melt into the warmth of his soft lips.
Everything we've ever done has always been in private. He comes to my house or I go to his. We never walk in public and we've certainly never kissed in public.
So for the first time ever, we don't care that someone might be looking at us or taking pictures. In that moment, nothing matters but the two of us. It's like the world and its many complications don't exist. That's what kissing him always feels like.
We then lay our backs on the dirty sand just staring up at the sky in a comfortable silence. He's holding onto my hand really tight, like if he let go I'll disappear. I then squeeze his hand in a reassuring tightness as we lay there for what feels like forever.
"Let's go home." He says to me and we stand up to walk back to where everyone is because that's where he parked. He's still holding on to my hand but I know he's going to let go once we get closer.
He stays behind me for a few minutes letting me go further so people don't think we disappeared together. I look for Liz when I get there to tell her I'm uberring home but she's still nowhere to be found so I tell my other friends to tell her for me then I say goodbye to them.
I then go to the parking lot with no clue what car he came with today until I see a lime green colored Ferrari I'd never seen before. I know it's him. He likes to stand out.
The door automatically opens when I get closer to it and I see him inside with a smile on his face. I'm still just wearing a bikini so he puts his jacket on my shoulders when I get in the car. He then starts it and we're soon off.
I know he got a new place a few weeks ago but I hadn't been able to see it because his friends are always there. He says that they always just randomly show up, so the past couple of weeks he'd been coming to my house and we'd been hanging out there.
I'd honestly been hurt that almost everyone we know had seen the house but me, his girlfriend. Even my friends have been to the mansion. I've heard all about the wild parties that have taken place there. I can't help but think more about that as he pulls over the driveway and opens the car doors for us to get out.
If he'd really wanted to, he could've let it happen. He could've had me see it when he'd gotten it, before everyone else even knew where it was. I'm annoyed at myself for even thinking about this.
"Are you ok?" He asks clearly sensing my uneasiness.
"I don't know, I guess I just can't believe I'm only seeing it now. It's beautiful." I say honestly to him with a smile that I know doesn't quite reach my eyes.
He looks at me and then at the ground before taking my hand to lead me inside.
It's huge. So... him.
Ezra is generally a minimalist so I'm not surprised that it's not over-furnished. It's sexy and tranquil. The perfect man-cave. Or man-mansion if you will.
He shows me around and there's another thing I can't help but notice. There are pictures everywhere, of everyone.
I even saw Liz and some of the girls on one of them and I know he saw my face when I did but he didn't say anything, neither did I.
"I'm so proud of you baby. I know how hard you've worked for all this and I'm glad it's finally paying off. I'm so happy for you." I say to him honestly. He's the hardest working person I know.
We're now in his large bedroom and we're laying down on his bed facing each other.
"Thanks, my love." He says to me with a smile then kisses my lips lightly.
After a while of just laying and talking, we head into the shower to wash off the dirty sand we were practically rolling around in then we head back to bed where we make love the whole night until we tire ourselves to sleep.
"Babe...""Baby.""Babe!!""What?!!" I practically shout at him. He knows I hate mornings. Don't wake me up if I don't need to be up. I'll wake up when my body is ready to."The boys are coming now. You gotta hide.""What?" My ears must be really playing tricks on me because I thought I heard him say I have to hide. I turn my body to the other side then go back to sleep before,"Oh shxxt, they're here. Babe, go into the bathroom!" He shouts already making his way out of the bedroom. My sleep goes away immediately as I sit upright on his bed. I don't even know how to express the pain that's in my chest right now.Before getting this house, Ezra lived in a small apartment. It wasn't fancy but it was perfect. We'd used to spend the whole day and sometimes weekends just lazying around and watching movies. Never have I ever worried about peopl
"Hey baby, I've been worried sick. Are you ok?" is the first thing he asks as soon as I answer the phone. About 60 missed calls later. He actually does sound so worried that I feel a bit bad for ignoring him the rest of yesterday. Only just a bit."Yeah I'm ok babe." I say to him honestly. I feel a lot better today. My chilled evening with Cody helped me out, it always does.But also, hearing his voice oddly calms me, despite him being responsible for the bad mood to start with. He doesn't ask why I disappeared like I did yesterday, I know it's because he knows why. This is one of the many conversations we don't have.It goes alongside the negative effects caused by the privacy of our relationship. We know what it's doing to us but we also know we can't do anything about it. So we ignore it."Will I be s
He is livid.He's gone out for a smoke about six times already in the last hour, he only smokes when he's stressed. And that's usually only two times in one night.I'm sitting next to Bruno and another guy named Sam and we're conversing about nothing important. I see him looking at me, but not so long that people start to notice.Bruno is not even flirting with me. He's a good looking guy but I'll never see him like that. There's only one guy in this world for me. Bruno and I just have a friendship forming, he honestly has nothing to worry about.'Are you ok? I'm sorry I can't stop it.' I'd texted him and of course he didn't reply. It's upsetting to me that he's always having conversations with random girls, most of which flirt with him - but I never get mad, because I know I'm the only one who owns his heart. But as soon as some guy comes and looks at
I wake up to my stomach crying in hunger at the appetizing smell that makes its way into my nostrils.I open my eyes to see a plate of badly cooked eggs and not so bad looking bacon and toast. Normally I would smile because even though he's not much of a cooker, he'll go out of his way just to make sure I'm fed.But this morning, the first words that come out of my mouth are,"Did you not see me struggling?" I know he was looking at me as I danced with him. My mind can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that he might have seen but did nothing. It's all I could think about last night, and well - now."Bruno jokes around babe. Everyone knows that." I chuckle because I did imagine him using that excuse. But it was in the furthest most impossible excuses I'd thought he'd use. I'd thought it was ridiculous even thinking of it. So I stare at the love of my life with so much pain in my heart to ask him,
We're still very much together. But I told him I needed a break.Just to calm my head and my heart from everything. It took him a while but he finally accepted it. He said as long as I come back to him. Of course I will, I always will. I realize I'm a slave to his love.It's not even just because he threatened to kill himself, but also because a life without him is a life I don't want to live. I can't even grasp the thought of him not being here anymore. I've had him in my life for so long that I don't want to picture a life where he's not there.Him wanting to kill himself served as a reminder of how much I need him.I do however hate what he did to make me stay but the thought of him not being alive any more is scary enough for me to.The couple of days that we've been apart had me thinking too much of course. Like about the fact
"Hey, are you ok?" A voice sounds forcing me to open my eyes."Yeah," I respond with a smile."Do you want me to get the driver to fetch you some clothes at home? You can stay here as long as you want." She says but I shake my head, and my smile remains."He's doing better now, I'm gonna call Mickey to come and get us a bit later on." I say and she nods her head in understanding.After I'd been by Ezra's side the whole night while he slept, I'd decided to go back downstairs to watch some tv as I couldn't sleep. I must've dozed off on the couch sometime after."Alex, I know how difficult this is for you right now." Michaela says and I look at her in a bit of confusion. How could she possibly understand what I'm going through? No one will ever understand and that's the thing. She seems to sense my ranting mind because,"Dating a football player is hard." She ex
"What happened to you?""What do you mean?""You just disappeared off the face of the earth. You've been doing that a lot lately."Olivia asks making me internally roll my eyes. Not at the question but at the fact that she kissed my man. Although I guess in her defense, she doesn't know. But that still doesn't stop me from being petty with her so,"Can't I just take some time off for myself without you assuming something drastic happened?" I ignore the look Liz gives me after saying that. Olivia keeps quiet after my comment and that honestly makes me feel more bad than good.I'm not a malicious person, at all. But all this compartmentalizing is getting the best of me. I know I'm becoming a different person, I can see it in the way Liz looks at me. It's like she's given up asking me questions now. I used to wish for that to happen but now I can't help but think she's given up on m
"So what about the many ladies sitting at home watching this, is there a lucky lady occupying your heart right now?"The crowd cheers as he blushes before answering,"Not at this moment, no." the crowd somehow manages to scream even louder than before at his response. I'm not really mad because the whole point of us hiding our relationship is so people think he's single. This is not the first time he's giving this kind of interview. It used to hurt until it didn't anymore.So it doesn't surprise me, what surprises me instead is his response after being asked if there's a potential someone."There might be yeah."That's certainly a new one.I'm pretty sure he's not talking about me. Is he saying that so people don't hit on him or is it because there really is a potential someone? This is not an answer he's given