I wake up to my stomach crying in hunger at the appetizing smell that makes its way into my nostrils.
I open my eyes to see a plate of badly cooked eggs and not so bad looking bacon and toast. Normally I would smile because even though he's not much of a cooker, he'll go out of his way just to make sure I'm fed.
But this morning, the first words that come out of my mouth are,
"Did you not see me struggling?" I know he was looking at me as I danced with him. My mind can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that he might have seen but did nothing. It's all I could think about last night, and well - now.
"Bruno jokes around babe. Everyone knows that." I chuckle because I did imagine him using that excuse. But it was in the furthest most impossible excuses I'd thought he'd use. I'd thought it was ridiculous even thinking of it. So I stare at the love of my life with so much pain in my heart to ask him,
We're still very much together. But I told him I needed a break.Just to calm my head and my heart from everything. It took him a while but he finally accepted it. He said as long as I come back to him. Of course I will, I always will. I realize I'm a slave to his love.It's not even just because he threatened to kill himself, but also because a life without him is a life I don't want to live. I can't even grasp the thought of him not being here anymore. I've had him in my life for so long that I don't want to picture a life where he's not there.Him wanting to kill himself served as a reminder of how much I need him.I do however hate what he did to make me stay but the thought of him not being alive any more is scary enough for me to.The couple of days that we've been apart had me thinking too much of course. Like about the fact
"Hey, are you ok?" A voice sounds forcing me to open my eyes."Yeah," I respond with a smile."Do you want me to get the driver to fetch you some clothes at home? You can stay here as long as you want." She says but I shake my head, and my smile remains."He's doing better now, I'm gonna call Mickey to come and get us a bit later on." I say and she nods her head in understanding.After I'd been by Ezra's side the whole night while he slept, I'd decided to go back downstairs to watch some tv as I couldn't sleep. I must've dozed off on the couch sometime after."Alex, I know how difficult this is for you right now." Michaela says and I look at her in a bit of confusion. How could she possibly understand what I'm going through? No one will ever understand and that's the thing. She seems to sense my ranting mind because,"Dating a football player is hard." She ex
"What happened to you?""What do you mean?""You just disappeared off the face of the earth. You've been doing that a lot lately."Olivia asks making me internally roll my eyes. Not at the question but at the fact that she kissed my man. Although I guess in her defense, she doesn't know. But that still doesn't stop me from being petty with her so,"Can't I just take some time off for myself without you assuming something drastic happened?" I ignore the look Liz gives me after saying that. Olivia keeps quiet after my comment and that honestly makes me feel more bad than good.I'm not a malicious person, at all. But all this compartmentalizing is getting the best of me. I know I'm becoming a different person, I can see it in the way Liz looks at me. It's like she's given up asking me questions now. I used to wish for that to happen but now I can't help but think she's given up on m
"So what about the many ladies sitting at home watching this, is there a lucky lady occupying your heart right now?"The crowd cheers as he blushes before answering,"Not at this moment, no." the crowd somehow manages to scream even louder than before at his response. I'm not really mad because the whole point of us hiding our relationship is so people think he's single. This is not the first time he's giving this kind of interview. It used to hurt until it didn't anymore.So it doesn't surprise me, what surprises me instead is his response after being asked if there's a potential someone."There might be yeah."That's certainly a new one.I'm pretty sure he's not talking about me. Is he saying that so people don't hit on him or is it because there really is a potential someone? This is not an answer he's given
"You left me no choice, how can you put me in such a position?" I remove the phone from my ear as he continues to shout."That was really stupid, don't you care at all about anyone but yourself? I would never put you in such a position Alex." He says for the umpteenth time now. I'm exhausted."I'm sorry," I say to him. I need him to stop so I'll say anything.I've been on the phone surely for more than 30 minutes now just listening to him tell him how stupid what I did last night at Ashley's party was. He says that I should've known he was going to do that because my actions were uncalled for. This comes after he'd been ignoring my calls the whole of last night and today.I came back home and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. When I left Ashley's party, I was a laughing stock. People called me pathetic and desperate, all because yet again - he refused me. And somehow I'm the one who needs to a
My mom was my world.She died a few years ago after losing her battle with Colon cancer. She'd battled it for a few years before it ultimately claimed her. Even though it was expected for the few months leading up to it, it didn't make the pain go away. Not in the slightest.I was broken.I was in middle school and I remember being so heartbroken I felt numb. I didn't go to school for a while but even after returning, I resembled a zombie. I was always in my own world and never let anyone in.I didn't understand how God would let something like that happen to her, happen to me. What did we ever do to deserve so much pain?I hated everything. I hated life.That's when Ezra came along.The first time I saw him was the first time, after my mom's death that I felt not so horrible. He walked in
I've been in hospital for over a week now, he hasn't called.I know it's because he's still mad at me.I'm partly ok with that because I don't want him to know what's happened. I don't want him to know I almost...I just want him to be ok.And ok he seems to be because every time I switch on the Tv I see him, he's also all over the internet. He's appearing in music videos too and every other day he's on a different Tv channel getting interviewed. I never thought it was possible but he's somehow getting more and more famous every day.It's so odd to see also, because he's never really wanted this kind of life. He was never into the fame that came with his profession. All he wanted was to play football, everything else he didn't care much about. But he looks happy every time I see him on tv and I guess that makes me happy too. I'm gl
I haven't really grasped the repercussions of my actions if I'm being honest. I did something only putting my own feelings in mind, not at all thinking about the people around me. I don't want to even imagine what they would've gone through had I been successful in my attempt.Dad doesn't talk much, he comes to the ward a few times a week to bring me stuff. I hate hospital food so he always makes sure to bring me my favorite meals as I still lay in the hospital.He kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me always. This was never something he did before. Dad is not a very affectionate person so I'd rarely heard him uttering those words to me growing up. But never did I ever doubt he'd felt them for me.Hearing him all of sudden saying the three-worded sentence kind of breaks my heart a little. Because it means he thinks I'd never known it or believed it.&nb