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Chapter 4

                                                                                   Mira

We head to the cafeteria to have lunch, and when I tell you, I have never had such a hard time eating in my life. We sat there, elbowing each other because I eat with my left hand, and he eats with his right which are the hands that are bound together. Every time I bring the piece of chicken to my mouth, Devin lifts his hand to eat his burger, and I miss my mouth, resulting in the chicken flying off the fork and falling on my lap. “Devin!” I snap frustrated after the third attempt.

Devin jumps and looks at me, along with the employees eating in the cafeteria at my outburst. “What?” He mumbles with a mouth full of his beef burger.  I glare at him, practically seething, and honestly, if I were a cartoon character, you’d see steam coming out of my ears right about now.

“What?” I slap his shoulder. “Are you kidding me?” I fume, gesturing to the chicken piece sitting on my lap, ruining my beige vintage mini skirt. Devin glances down at my skirt, his eyes lingering on my legs a little too long. I watch him with a brow raised, and when I clear my throat, Dev’s eyes flitter up to mine again, the corners of his lips twitch while he fights off the urge to smile though his eyes are glowing with mirth not even the slightest bit fazed that he got caught checking out my legs. “This isn’t working. Eat with your other hand. I haven’t had a bite of my food yet, you big ogre.”

Devin laughs and tweaks my nose, “Anything for you, Tinks.”

I kick him under the table, and he scowls at me. “You seriously rub me the wrong way,” I mutter frigidly and shove a forkful of caesar salad in my mouth and chew. Devin takes a sip of his water and leans in close to my ear.

“What way would you prefer I rubbed you then, Tinks?”  He drawls, and I choke on my salad, coughing hysterically. I ram my elbow into his ribs, and he grunts before he starts laughing while my face goes through every shade of red known to mankind.

“I’m going to kill you, King. Before we can get out of these cuffs, you’re going to make me kill you. Mark my words.” I tell him flatly while I wipe my hands and throw my napkin on my makeshift plate.

Devin grins, licking his full lips. “There are worse ways to go than at your itty bitty hands, Tinks.” I roll my eyes and press my molars together to keep my cool before I turn and strangle him.

I look down at my hands, I mean, they’re not the biggest, but I can still inflict some form of damage. I could punch him in the throat…or the balls, perhaps. “Do you want to see what I can do with these itty bitty hands?” I ask him with a smirk, and he chuckles, his charmed brown eyes following when I wave my fist in his face. 

“You can show me later, baby. We’re at work.” I gasp when he grabs my hand and brushes a kiss on my knuckles. I pull my hand away and roll my eyes just as Ayla comes to join us at the table.

“God, I’m starving.” She sighs, picking up her fork and looks at Dev and me staring at one another. “Wow, the hostility is just coming off you two in waves.” Ayla smiles, digging into her tofu and fig salad.

Devin scoffs and squeezes my side making me jump and hit my knee on the table. Ayla looks up at the ‘clunk’ of my knee bashing against the table, making it shake, and she eyes us both with glee, “That would be coming solely from your dear sister.”

“I didn’t think you could get any more annoying. I’m delighted to inform you that I was wrong.” I tell Dev, and he smiles brightly, wagging his brows at me.

“Wait a minute, you mean this whole time you were capable of admitting you were wrong, Tinks?” Dev gushes sarcastically, and I resist the urge to smack him upside the head for the self-righteous grin he was currently donning.

I narrow my eyes at him and lean in close, staring into his eyes. “The level of animosity I feel toward you is inexplicable.”

“Then show me in other ways, baby.” He whispers gruffly so only I could hear him. Oh, how I would like to. I hate myself for it, but I want to grab his stupidly handsome face and bruise those sinfully kissable lips with mine. Devin stares into my eyes, challengingly, and I compel myself to look away.

“Ayla!” I almost growl, and she jumps at my unexpected outburst, her fork in mid-air and her brown eyes startled. “Will you please talk to dad and convince him that this…” I lift my hand that is cuffed to Devin and point at it furiously, “…is an absurd idea.”

“Sorry, Mimi, he’s made up his mind, and you know what dad is like when he sets his mind to something, he is not about to budge on it, I’m afraid. For whatever reason, he is adamant on keeping you both bound together until you can learn to work without bickering.” She explains with a shrug and shoves her salad in her mouth, and chews.

I groan and close my eyes. “God, this is ridiculous Ayla, come on. If anything, this is making things worse.” I declare, rubbing my temple frantically. “I’ll kill him before the day is out, and you guys can come and visit me in jail,” I utter dramatically. Ayla laughs, her eyes on Devin. I turn my head to look at him, and he averts his gaze to the table, grinning. I sigh with a shake of my head. I’m handcuffed to a man-child.

Oh God, just when I think my day couldn’t worsen, it dawns on me that my bladder is full and I need to pee. What am I supposed to do? I can’t pee in front of Devin. What the hell?

“Mimi, you okay?” Ayla questions when she likely noticed the troubled look on my face. I’ll hold it. I’m hoping that I can convince my dad that this idea of his is ludicrous by the end of the day…if my bladder doesn’t burst by then.

I didn’t last till the end of the day—I barely lasted an hour. I was busting and couldn’t keep still. Devin and I are currently standing in the corridor side by side while he speaks to an author after the meeting we had with her. Devin notices me squirming beside him, he cuts the conversation short, and we say our goodbyes. “What is up with you?”

I frown. “Nothing.”

Devin looks me over, clearly not convinced. “Uh-huh, you’ve been squirming for over an hour. What’s wrong?”

“Ugh, fine!” I relent and close my eyes. I’m going to murder someone, I swear to God. “I need to pee,” I mutter under my breath, and Devin frowns, leaning closer.

“Tinks, speak up. You’re mumbling.”

“I need to pee!”

Devin presses his lips together and cocks his head to the side. “Well, go pee then.”

I give him my ‘are you an idiot’ look, and he smiles gleefully, recognising it from when we were kids. “I am not going to pee in front of you. Hell fucking no.”

“Tinks, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t hold your piss in all day. Come on.” Devin grabs my arm and starts dragging me toward the bathroom. I dig my heels into the ground, shaking my head swiftly, pulling my arm back and hiss when the metal bites into my wrist.

“No, no, Dev, I can hold it, I can hold it!” I whimper, resisting but to no avail because I find myself in the bathroom with him. I squeeze my thighs together and chew on my bottom lip as he stood watching me, his brown eyes dancing with amusement while I continue to squirm.

“Go on then. We don’t have all day.” He urges me, and I give him a scathing look and sigh.

“I’m not peeing in front of you,” I state stubbornly, wiggling my hips and tapping my foot in an attempt to distract myself.

Devin rolls his eyes and exhales. “Tinks, the longer you hold it in, the more damage you’re causing your bladder and kidneys. Take a piss already.”  I groan when my bladder starts to ache. Either I give in and pee in front of him, or I piss myself. It’s a lose/lose situation either way…this is happening.

“Fine, turn around. I’m not going with you watching me.” Devin smiles and turns his back to me. I eye him warily and bite my lip. “Run the tap and sing…loudly,” I tell him, and he chuckles.

“Tinks—”

“Sing, Dev!”

“All right! Jeez, woman.” Devin laughs and leans over, runs the tap and starts singing bah bah black sheep. “Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool…”

I stare at his back, and I don’t know if it was the embarrassing situation I was in, but I couldn’t hold back the unexpected laughter that came tumbling out of me. Of all the songs he could have sung, he chooses that. Upon hearing my laugh, Devin cracks up laughing, his shoulders shaking.

I squeeze my thighs together, holding my pee in as best I could, “Oh God, stop, stop laughing. I’m going to pee myself!” I cackle, leaning over and holding onto the wall.

Devin chuckles, “Hurry up, then.” He utters between peals of laughter. “Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master and one for my dame…”

 “You’re not singing loud enough. Sing louder. And don’t you dare peek.” I warn with a giggle as I tug my skirt up and peel my underwear down. Devin sings louder, almost shouting.

I sit on the toilet and finally let it go. I was hoping for a sweet little trickle, but there was nothing lady-like about it. It was like a horse was pissing; it went on for ages where I had been holding it in for so long.

I don’t think I have ever blushed so hard in my life or felt so embarrassed ever. By the end of it, Devin and I had tears from laughing so hard. “Don’t look at me.” I grumble as I wash my hands, and Devin chuckles.

“Why are you so embarrassed? It’s natural. Everyone takes a leak, Tinks.” Devin states as I dry my hands and roll my eyes, avoiding looking at him. “Surely you’ve pissed in front of your boyfriends before.”

“That’s different. How can you even compare that to this.” I defend and push the door open and walk out of the bathroom. Dev and I halt when everyone looks at us, each with a different expression on their faces. I lift my gaze to Dev who rubs the back of his neck, grinning. I slap his shoulder and pull him along toward my office. “I can’t believe this is happening. The CEO and Vice President of the company walking out of the bathroom together. I can’t wait to hear the rumors that will no doubt circulate shortly.”

Devin throws his head back and laughs, “What rumor? They can see we’re handcuffed together. What could we possibly be doing in there?”

I give him a sceptical look, “Screwing?”

“While I’m almost screaming verses of bah bah black sleep? Oh yeah, that’s plausible. What kind of twisted person would sing nursery rhymes while banging?” I laugh, shaking my head. This boy is truly an idiot, but he did have a point.

“Why did you choose bah bah black sheep? Of all the songs?”

Devin shrugs, smiling, “I don’t know. It was the first thing that came to my head.”   

I sigh, “Okay, it’s done now. Can we please get back to work?” Devin smiles and reaches over, squeezing my chin affectionately.

“I forgot how adorable you look when you’re embarrassed.” I look up at him and swat his hand away.

“Sod off, Devin.” Devin laughs, following me over to my desk. We spent the rest of the afternoon working with minimal mishaps. Until I catch Devin looking at me sheepishly. “What?”

“I have to drop a log.” My eyes grow wide, and I stare at him.

“You have to what?!” I sputter, horrified, eyeing him when he rises from his chair. I shake my head so fast my head spun.

“I have to take a dump.” He repeats while he attempts to pry me out of the chair I was sitting in, but I grip it with my hand for dear life.

“No, Devin…”

“Sorry, Tinks, this is happening. A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.” I gasp when he hauls me out of the chair and pulls me along with him.

“No!” I whimper, yanking my arm back to stop him— I even kicked my shoes off to get a better grip, but my feet just ended up sliding along the marble floor. The employees on the office floor watch on as Devin pulls me along with him, “Devin, please do not make me sit in there while you take a shit.”

“Seriously, Tinks. I had some sushi yesterday, and I’ve been holding it in all day. I can’t wait anymore. You’re going to have to lump it.” Devin states as we near the bathroom. I see Ayla walking through the office and gasp.

“Ayla! Please help me!” I yelp, and she watches us frowning. “Get the damn key from dad and let us out of these handcuffs right now!”

“What are you two doing?” Ayla questions bemused, looking from Devin to me.

“Devin needs to take a shit. You have to get these off. I can’t go in there with him. I can’t!” Ayla laughs hysterically.

“Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny?! Ayla, I swear to God I’m going to kill you—” The door slams shut before I could finish my threat. I look over at Devin, who is already unbuttoning his trousers. I didn’t know what to do with myself or where to look. I turn my back to him and wince. “Oh good God.”

“Remind me never to eat sushi again.” I hear Devin mutter from behind me, and I groan. Imagine being forced into listening to the man you’re lusting after taking a dump before you even kiss.

“I might need some form of therapy after this,” I complain, covering my nose with my dress.

“Tinks you’re too far. My arm is starting to ache.”

“Devin, I don’t care if your arm falls off. I am NOT coming near you.” My stomach churns at the smell, and I feel my mouth water as I force down the lunch I had earlier. “Jesus! Did something crawl up your arse and die?” I gag, pinching my nose and grimace when I hear the plopping of his poo hitting the water.

 I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. Right here in the bathroom, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise your shit smells like roses, Tinks.”

Oh, the smell, If I could find a way to explain the smell. It’s a mixture of rotten eggs and death. “Compared to yours, you damn well bet it does.” I let out a shriek when he yanks me closer to him.

“I have to wipe!”

 “Dev…oh God! I can taste it. I can fucking taste it. I’m going to throw up!”  I retch and clamp my hand over my mouth, and turn to face him. Devin looks up at me, his eyes wide.

“Oh no, don’t you…Tinks, don’t you dare throw up on me!” He forewarns before my stomach lurches, and I feel my lunch coming up. Dev spins me around toward the basin, and I throw up everything I had consumed throughout the day.

Oh my God. This is the worst day ever. I’m done. I just want to go home and crawl under my covers and never come out. “You good?” Devin asks, pulling my hair over my shoulder. I groan and run the water rinsing out my mouth and the basin.

“Good? No, I am not good. I don’t think this day could get any worse. I need to get out of here before I pass out,” I retort, covering my nose and mouth with my hands I just washed with the soap. Devin washes his hands, and I rush out of the bathroom, sucking in lungfuls of air to replace the smell of his…crap. “Molly!” I call out to my assistant, and she flies out of her chair and comes running over to me.

“Yes Mira?”

“Body mist. I need body mist…now Molly, run!” Molly nods and runs to my office, retrieves my body mist from my bag, and comes running back to hand it to me. I open the lid and spray it all over myself, and then Devin, who coughs, waving his arm around.

“Tinks, what the hell…” He continues to wheeze.

“Shh, don’t what the hell me. I can still smell…” My stomach groans, and I shudder. Devin smiles and grabs my face and squeezes till my lips pucker up, and he looks into my eyes.

“We just took our relationship to the next level, Tinks. How long do you reckon till you have to take a dump?”  I peer up at him, my eyes growing wider at the realisation that it was a possibility. Oh no, no, no, no. I pull my face out of his grasp.

“Like hell.” I pivot and march over to my father’s office like a woman on a mission dragging Devin along with me. I see Maddie, his assistant, watching us as we walk to the door at her desk. “Is he alone?” I ask, and she nods and stands to speak, but I ignore her and open the door waltzing into his office without so much as a knock.

“Mira?” My dad utters when I walk over to his desk, and he looks up at me questioningly.

“Daddy, will you please take these handcuffs off now?” I request. My father leans back in his chair and looks over at Devin and then at me.

“Mimi, I already told you those cuffs would remain on those wrists until you two learn to get along. Have you worked out your issues?”

“Yes,”

“No.” We say at the same time, and I look over at Devin. I give him a death glare which he responds to with an impassive shrug.

“Daddy,” I turn my attention back to my father and give him my best pleading look. “I can not spend another minute bound to him. This is ridiculous—Devin and I are both adults. Will you please just let us deal with this our way.”

“And what way is that Tinks?” Devin questions, his brows drawn together. I look up at him again and exhale slowly to keep the annoyance from my voice.

“Devin, you’re not helping.” I hiss through clenched teeth, and he sighs and lifts his gaze heavenward. “Do you honestly think us being handcuffed and forced into spending time together is going to make us work better together?”

“I don’t know, but we did manage to get through quite a bit this afternoon, did we not?” I rub my forehead and shake my head.

“Devin, I haven’t seen you in ten years and in the space of ten hours, I had to pee in front of you, watch you take a dump, and you had to watch me hurling my guts out. Does this honestly sound like something good to you?” I question, looking at both Devin and my father.

“If you weren’t so stubborn and talked to me, this wouldn’t be an issue, would it?”  Devin retorts, scowling at me, his chiselled face now stern.

 “Oh, you know what, fine. If you want to stay handcuffed together, then that’s fine by me.” I reply stubbornly, and he shrugs.

“Great.”

“Great!” We glare at one another heatedly until I hear my father sigh, and I turn to look at him.

“Growing up, we couldn’t pry you two kids apart. Where Tinks was, Dev was always right by her side. What happened between the two of you to drive such a wedge into your friendship?” My father asks, looking between us. My eyes find Dev’s, and I can see as clear as day that he’s thinking the same thing I am. That very moment we fucked up our friendship with no way of ever turning back.

“Nothing.” I force myself to say and divert my gaze from his to my father. “Nothing happened. We just grew up and apart. That’s all.” I can feel Devin’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I can’t get into that whole mess again. That pandora’s box full of unresolved feelings and issues will remain tightly closed forever.

Comments (7)
goodnovel comment avatar
Sydney Lim
this is great so far . hope it reads like this till the end
goodnovel comment avatar
Karen
Very funny , so good
goodnovel comment avatar
Lisa Miller
This book is hilarious… I was laughing so hard I was crying!!!
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