I sometimes wonder if being lucky isn’t part of my character or I just didn’t deserve to be acknowledge with those dreams I wanted in life. There’s this dream that I even want to achieve after I’d be turning to eighteen. And that is to make myself proud for taking good care for the responsibility as a daughter of our household. But then, I’m always ended up a failure. I got to be diagnosed with an illness, and have to visit the doctor weekly to his office.
I just envy those people who make their success at young age. Imagine to see yourself in the newspaper and saw your face globally while holding your awards and trophies of hardship. But no one knows, only the burden was the kind of thing I always carry while watching my favorite TV shows with a millionaire artists and celebrity. Calmly sitting, sipping their coffees and confidently saying what thoughts run through their mind. And I also wanted to speak mine as well. That even at my broad country would know how misery weigh much pounds to me that merely produces a trouble and uneasiness.One day, I tried find some available earning websites while scrolling to my phone screen and surf to searching tab. I made a lot of inquiries to random people via Wazup app, to contact them for what job I may able to work on while at home. I have to find a way to make things possible, for if there’s a will then there’s a way. I always thought about that, and believes in my capacity even I’m just an average person.I was stuck staring outside the window, as I realized that I was caught by the dawn. The nightfall began again as I just tap my last reply to the person I talked online. And, later on the message pop out replying that, “There are no vacancies for you, ma’am. We’re sorry.” Then, there I did not even got a chance to reach the final slot. Am I unlucky this time?Usually, I walk downstairs with a poker expression across my face. I feel so hopeless that I couldn’t even dare to appreciate the Donut that my parents had brought from their way home. I just make a sudden peck to their cheeks and head to the sink to wash grain of rice. “What are you up to, Honey? I tried to contact you, but you seem to decline my calls, huh.” My mother uttered it, and yes. I am really guilty about it. It’s just I wanted to focus with finding a job earlier. But then, I just failed countless times.“So, how’s your entrance examination that morning? Was that difficult?” Father asked with a grin to his face as he was hanging his coat to the hook on the wall. “I’ve seen Camila entering the University also. So, I assume she’s going to study there too?” I don’t know why the topic automatically shifted to Camila’s state. Camila’s a working student while staying in Ngarap University during her senior high school years.“She’ll be taking Criminology, pa. And that course is not even available there. I just made a call with her,” I said while I’m rubbing the pot underneath it and around itself to put it already to the rice cooker. See the type of this livelihood, for instead I have to make things less for the bill and use woods for cooking. Then, the check meter wouldn’t just worry to whirl over and over again.“Really? You just told us that she’s going to apply for scholarship? Wasn’t that her thing? I could never imagine herself wearing a boy cut to her head,” said papa while slightly laughing. “Her mother’s already unemployed?” He asked again.My father’s making a lot of questions about this Rovis’ family. Camila was my best friend when we’re just in high school. And I didn’t make a chance to meet her personally after we part our ways when we’re studying senior years. “Pa, I don’t want to enroll to that school—”My mother argue and knitted her brows. She angrily interfered my words saying, “Gotta think about expenses and fees again? Remember, I just need you to study smart and hard. You must paid our financial support for you. For you have to take a stand for yourself, proving that you and we can.”That was inspiring and I couldn’t avoid feeling the special treat. But seeing my parents getting a lot of complains about their physical pain and by seeing their facial expressions getting unwell and usually weary. It makes me feel that I am lost again, that I could estimate the duration of it.“Just do your best and get away from those temptations till you graduated in college. That’ll be our great trophy. And I acknowledge it for you to deserve having the place with support. . .with us,” said Mother while making a tight hug to me and tried lift the corner of her mouth to appear a smile.Shouldn’t I just worry myself for financial? I can’t even make a scholarship well done for I am also bad with grades. I got low remarks with academics and my parents wouldn’t even let me to do the part as a working student. For I might choose to take the job instead focusing to my studies. Being a college is difficult, and yes, my opponent was the financial. It’s hard to overcome at midst of scarcity.The other day, I entered the school again and directly head to office. I saw few of freshman as well who wear expensive dresses and stylists mode to their own outfits. They really match all the colors, and have a simple yet attractive physique combination. They just paved the way with their stunning gesture and luxurious screaming presence. That even this woman, Annette Zales, only wear ordinary shirts, trousers and shoes.“Are you new here?” As I turned around, this handsome face was almost touching my nose with his too much closure. I accidentally hit the girl behind me and made an apology. “Jeez, sorry. It’s not my intention to get in close contact with your face,” he said as he was now standing straight. And here he comes with fitted jeans, sneakers on, B&W shirt with a collar and a G-clock around his wrist. He makes it more intimidating and scarier to me.“Yes,” I stammered and heaved a sigh while make a clear in my throat then continue to speak saying, “I just have to get my test result. And, I doubt where should I go ahead—”He trailed her and motion his hands to left corner. “This way, miss.” I could feel how my heart’s throbbing so fast, that I could even forget all those worry and doubts in my head. The moment I just saw his face, the world starts to stop just desperately dreaming to make a stare for an hour to his flawless mien.I already made a pace when the guy behind me was following my direction as well. I don’t need to assume such things, for I am just an amateur in this school and raised in public school. So, it’ll be a pressure for me as well to feel his presence around me, probably making a glances often that I can’t just tolerate for awhile.I glance to him and saw how he just made a focus to his IPhone. And that makes me to feel awkward. I was about to say a thing, but then he just suddenly opened a topic. “Where did you graduated?”I smile timidly and forced an awkward smile. “In National Western, just a public school the next building from here,” I reply while making a few hand gestures to calm myself getting nervous by his presence. I’m totally in doom and out of his wealth. He’s totally born with a golden spoon in his mouth and had the most relieving livelihood, even with the mansion and cars I could picture out. His image is truly part of my obsession—the dreams I once ambition this time. And I couldn’t help it.“I just finished mine here. Since I was in primary school,” he said while slowly packing his ear with those air pads. See that persona, he could make it more attractive. By hearing his voice, that was tame and unbelievably a piece of music artist.“Catch us later. I gotta go here. Break a leg,” he added as I just nod my head. Getting mum already with his amazing feature. That makes me eagerly dream to be a designer. Even, it costs too much. I want to see my effort and wear the dresses I dream to wear in the future. Will it happen?As I finally reached the destination. I just received a call after claiming my papers in office. It’s just an unknown number, thus I made a slide touch to answer button and ask, “Hello?”“Hi. Can we meet?”I just saw the results of my admission test in college. And I’m happy that I was qualified to enroll at this University. This was one of my parent’s dream, to get me studying at notorious school. I’d rather choose the State College to save high expenses that we’re going to spend during my school years. I don’t honestly think I deserve to live a life, calming myself because I have my parents to rely on. They’re up to that, and willing to support my studies.I sat to one of the benches in the school and scroll to my phone screen. I just haven’t reached out the guy who called me earlier. He didn’t even sent me the specific location to meet up. I saw a notification popped out from Wazup. One message from unknown number. I feel excited, for I was just using this mobile number for searching possible jobs as students. I have to be more generous as early as I could before it’s too late. A message was from the contacts of hiring maids/nanny at home. I was surprised to see the income salary
I was still surprised till this morning. The feeling of receiving a charity-like funds from someone who willingly shares an amount without even asking for it. I jump in joy as I couldn’t get over with sudden sent money that night. I could see how my lips were about to rip while still widely smiling in front of the mirror. The moment he asked me for my number, and now sending me a money that I didn’t expected.“Oh, what’s with jolliness?” Mom asked while I enthusiastically ran downstairs and head towards the kitchen to get a glass of cold water. I quickly sip on it as I was still smiling while facing the opened window. The area of our house was peaceful, since it’s out of the city. The sound of the flying birds and dancing leaves are mere noise that can be heard around here. I usually sit on the swing that my father tied up under the acasia three that seems ten meters away from our house. I saw how it jocund itself by the whiffs coming from the sea. My mother, Melina, approached me
“When did you apply a job here, Miss Annette?” I twist a bit to face the co-worker who was wiping the sink with a piece of cloth. She sound curious about me, when in fact I didn’t know some of her details and even the name. I already wear the dress that this madam have given me after I have a tour around their huge house. There are lot of rooms, desk, and even cabinets through every corner of their house. I saw how she smiled at me that makes my heart to jump in joy. It’s just feel so good to see people with good approach, that makes me more motivated to work. Quit the drama happened earlier. “Yesterday. I just didn’t expected to have a place working here since I actually didn’t intend to work as housekeeper—” She wry and scowled to what I said. Her laugh was sarcastic and means a lot of implications. I reached for the broom and swept the floor. She rose her brows to me and said, “Then, why are you here? You at least find or browse more.” She sound persistent and I wonder if she
I was not in my own senses after hearing Carx asking me for a date. He really didn’t go to school, but instead he waited for me to finish my food. I didn’t say any word after he said that to me. I still continued doing my chores while he was hanging there around the kitchen and waited for me to get done. I feel irritated when I could feel how he keep me with his long stares while sitting on the high chair of kitchen counter. “Can you go out, sir? I actually have a lot of things to finish. And I don’t have enough time to play with you,” I reasoned and couldn’t help my eyes to roll them frustratingly. “You may either go to school. If that’s the case.” “You really making me wait,” he said while he was playing with his mouth. “Don’t find any reason to escape. You’re still under my order. And you have to go with me to the market,” he demanded and really show his serious expressions that I haven’t seen before until now. “I don’t go dates—”Carx laughed at me then grinned after. “You
I feel how Feliz even offer a hand for me to help me firm my weight. I could feel how world would end and make my heart to rip in any moment. I couldn’t stop to overthink a lot, that’s why my anxiety disorder attacks me again. “I just need to head back after I’m done buying needs,” I said while showing my assuring smile. He’s really concerned and absolutely pure with himself. He didn’t hesitated to help me even we barely know each other. “Are you sure?” He examined and shout for Carx’ name, who was busy with picking fruits to buy. “Net was suffering,” he declared. Most of the people in this market are even looking on us. I tried to lead back my way to choose vegetables and have them purchased. But the feeling of barely breathing sucks. I couldn’t help but to laid my hands above my right chest to feel my heart beating. Carx was now alarmed as he probed to me about what was happening. “Aren’t you supposed to buy things? Why do you act suddenly like that? I’m no nurse,” he irritably
After a week staying here in Gomes’ house. I slowly get myself used to chores that they’ve ordered me to do so. Since that mess I obtained weeks ago, I realized something that also come up to change the situation between me and Carx. He’s been nagging me through texts, but unable to reached me out in person even we’re crossing our paths in some corner of their house. When I am also cleaning, I could spot him lingering around. Pretending that it was all coincidence, but I assume he was intentionally doing that for the sake to bother my day.I was also seen making a converse with Carx, since the day we talked outside the gate, in the living room, outside maiden’s room, and also to garage. He was spotted to see bringing the purchase that only maids are obliged to do. But how gentleman Carx is, right? But it is not the right time to praise his human being after he really pulled me to harmful situation. My parents didn’t even know that I was having a very hard experience as stay-in work
I didn’t got the chance to talk with Carx after that scene happened. And even during meals, he was absolutely quite and focused with his food. I couldn’t avoid my gaze to him since the day he offered me to wear his own designed dress. I just wonder why he suddenly got interested with fashion. Which in the first place, he is not obviously that typical kind of person who wears a lot of luxurious. Or probably, he have his own outfits namely branded by his own techniques and implications. It’s very amazing. If I could just have the chance to converse with him again, I’d like to have a peek inside his room. After a minute, I’ve washed their plates and waited for them to leave their seats to have us maids eat our dinner. While I was preparing the table, I couldn’t stop glancing through Magna. She just opened a can of sardines and put it on the bowl. We’re not allowed to take their dishes as our dishes as well, so we sometimes forced to eat preservative food quality product. “Are you cl
Fortunately, I could have myself a chance to meet Camila at this moment. I was even conscious of what I am wearing when Carx was following me with his judging eyes. I’ve got goosebumps when he was whispering to me that way. It makes my whole body to shiver in surprise. I don’t really expect any sort of attention from him, especially for treating me like as if we’re friends in a very long time. I sighed as I pulled the door open and step out of their black gate. The weather was sunny and was not cozy for me to hike without an umbrella. I really wear leggings and a tight shirt on me. “Mind walking with you?” I heard the guy’s voice and sound of his shoes approaching to me. He scented so nice and addictive. I glance at him and was surprised to see it was Feliz, their neighbor. Their house was just meters away from Carx, he seems very kind and I find him charrming because of his looks. I can’t deny the way he was smiling at me while showing his white teeth makes me feel so down that momen