"3"

I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. The mark on the back of my shoulder reminds me of the cruel joke life, destiny and the Black Eclipse pack has done to me.

Kevin Jameson had really fucked me up. My feet walked faster until I broke into a run. Running as far away as I could from the cold blooded woman named Cena and the omegas in the room with her. Creating a distance until their voices become faint, until I could no longer hear anything other than the sound of my raging heartbeat. The sun started to feel like fire on my skin which did not help the headaches subside.

I ran and ran, faster and faster until it was difficult for me to breathe, until my heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it thumping, willing itself to keep up with me. The houses and stores blurred into a mixture of colors as I ran, leaving everything behind, even if it were just for now.

My tongue, which was already dry in the first place, became even dryer as my body began to perspire due to the afternoon heat, my head slowly losing its pain.

Before I knew it I was running straight into my home, stopping abruptly wherever I was to catch my breath. I lowered my head, folded over, hands on my bent knees, perspiration dripping from my hair to the snow filled ground. I felt like I was about to puke and faint at the same time. I was breathing loudly, cursing as I tried to catch my breath.

Minnesota, my home. My vision was already blurring, and I was beginning to hallucinate. “Amber?!”

I heard someone call for me. I know that voice. “Vic… toria?” I breathed out her name.

My sister ran towards me, shifting into her wolf to reach me as quickly as she could, just before I collapsed on the snow.

“Amber!” She screamed, again and again, the panic in her voice reaching my ears. “Amber what happened — Amber?!”

The last thing I heard was someone screaming my name before I succumbed to the darkness. I felt soft fingers against my cold cheeks.

'I'm here. I'm here, you're going to be okay.' The familiar voice spoke, gentle as the wind. The moment I woke up, to the gentle embers and heat from the fireplace.

I looked around and saw my father staring at me. Head hung low and he looked as if he was about to cry. “Dad?”

“Hey, sweetie.” His voice trembled. My father is not the weak kind, mentally and physically, and yet… he was on the verge of tears. “Are you okay?”

I smiled. “I’m fine, Dad.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

I breathed in deeply, trying to shake the nausea out of me. “Dad, I said I’m fine.”

“Don’t —!” He screamed, his eyes turning red from anger and talon like claws appeared on his fingernails. “Don’t lie to me, Amber! You are my flesh and blood, my daughter. I know when something is wrong with you!”

I could not speak, could not move. My whole body tensed and I kept on thinking what to say and do. Is the chink on my armor that big? Am I that easy to read?

“Dad. I’m fine.”

“Did he hurt you? Did he violate you?”

It was a simple question. It really was. Yet I was shaken to the core. I wanted to scream, wanted to say, yes, but I couldn’t. Instead I bursted into tears, screaming as I did.

My father ran towards me, holding me tight into an embrace.

“Honey…” He whispered gently against my ears, tears welling on his eyes. “...I’m so sorry.”

“I tried, Dad.” I whispered, my body shaking as tears fell from the corner of my eyes. “I really, really tried! I tried to honor my promise, I really did! But they did such horrible, horrible things — I can’t anymore!”

The night came and I fell asleep on my father’s arms, not knowing how much he and my mother fought.

Their screams had woken me up, the loud banging on the walls and glass and kitchen wares being thrown all over the place woke me up from my slumber. I pushed myself up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen where I saw Victoria sobbing, trying to stop my parents from fighting.

With her keen sense of smell, Victoria looked towards my direction. In a snap of a finger, she was holding me, arms wrapped around my waist as she wailed.

“What’s going on?” “They’re fighting, Amber.”

I hummed as I placed gentle strokes on her head, trying to calm her down. “Tell me. What’s going on?”

Victoria looked up to me with her puffy purple eyes. “They’re fighting about you.” I frowned. “Why?”

“Because you’re not supposed to be here.”

When Victoria said those words, my guard went up. ‘The Black Eclipse pack.’ Torri growled, chattering inside my head, feeling as edgy as I was. ‘They’re looking for you.’

My fingers curled against Victoria’s cotton dress, my long nails sinking against the material as I bit my tongue to prevent myself from cursing.

“What did mother say?” I asked.

“She said you shouldn’t have run away from Alpha Kevin.” Victoria whispered, her voice harsh and shaky. She was as mortified as I was. “They sent us a letter, you see. That if our pack doesn’t turn you in for three days, they’ll come here and kill everyone.”

My eyes widened, feeling nauseated again. It’s as if I’m going to puke. I let go of Victoria’s dress and covered my mouth, preventing myself from gagging.

“Amber.” She looked at me with her wide doe eyes. “I’m fine.”

She shook her head, and I can see it so clearly in her eyes. Guilt.

“I’m so sorry, Amber.” She cried, her knees falling on the floor as she clung to my clothes. “It was supposed to be me!”

“It’s not your fault. Stand up, Victoria.” I told her softly, wanting to ease her pain. Unlike me, Victoria is special. She was given a gift from the moment of her birth. She was faster than us, stronger than us and she could tell what a person is feeling just by catching their scent.

Our pack needs someone like her in the future. While I… I can make the sacrifice for us. “I chose to be Kevin Jameson’s bride, Victoria. I chose this.”

“But he’s not the one you married, right?”

I swallowed hard and tried to keep myself from blowing up. “Victoria.”

“I can smell someone else’s scent on your body, Amber.” Victoria whispered as she looked down on the ground as she played with her fingers. “It’s not Kevin.”

I opened my mouth to object whatever Victoria was going to say. But before I could speak, my Mom burst out of the room and grabbed me by the shoulder. The sheer force almost made me lose my balance. If she wasn’t holding onto me, I would’ve fallen on the floor.

“You need to go back to them, Amber!” Mom screamed at my face. “They’re going to kill us all if you don’t!”

Dad marched out of the kitchen, fuming with anger. “Don’t you dare force her, Deborah! This is on me! I owe the Black Eclipse pack! I will not let my daughters suffer the consequences of my mistakes!”

Mother let go of me with a growl and ran towards my father, shoving him against the wall. “This is your fault, George! It’s because you had to ask for their help when we did not even need it! Now look at what’s happening to us, to our daughters and to this pack!”

“We needed their help at the time, Deborah!” My father retaliated, pushing my mother off him. “We were being attacked by a pack of rogues and they outnumbered us by a hundred men! We could’ve died without the Black Eclipse’s help!”

“If you think that, then you’re a fucking idiot, George!” She screamed. “We were outnumbered but our pack wasn’t weak!” My mother slapped my father, the sound making Victoria and I look down. “You’re the weak one!”

“Deborah —” My father warned, his jaw clenched, trying to muster all his self control. “Don’t test me.”

“You’re weak and a coward!” “Deborah!”

The fight went on and on. Mother was screaming and father was trying to defend himself from her scratches and punches as mother grew claws on her hands. Victoria who was standing beside me crashed on her knees, begging my parents to stop.

Why did our life crashed down like this?

There was only one thing I could do to stop this mess.

“Fucking stop fighting right now!” I screamed on top of my lungs, making my mother and father stop on their tracks and look at me. “I’m going back to them. Tomorrow.”

My father sighed, his defeated eyes staring deep into mine. “Amber.” I clench my fist. “It’s the right thing to do, father!”

Victoria’s cold fingers grabbed a hold of my arms, as if it’s her lifeline. Her cold skin sent chills into my spine. “But… if you return, you will continue to suffer.”

I pursed my lips and shut my eyes, forcing myself not to cry. “I’m strong, Victoria. I’m going back there, for us…” I looked at my parents, even my mother’s violent eyes had softened, “for the pack."