Alice A few weeks have passed since the party. I've become best friends with Winnie, and we hang out at the ice hockey rink daily. I'm still in the fan club for The Fighting Devils, but it seems one player, in particular, is set on ignoring me. Nathan Douglas. The night I spent with him made me realize I liked him. But Nathan, true to his word, has stayed clear of me. Whenever I walk past him on campus or watch his hockey team play, he stares through me. It's like I'm air to him. "Why won't you date Andrew?" Winnie asks me while chewing on a fry. We are eating in the dining hall. I sigh. "Because Andrew is a player?" "You could still give him a go... Unless there is someone else that you like? Someone that I don't know about?" She blinks at me with a sweet smile, and guilt gnaws at me. I haven't told Winnie that I'm crushing on Nathan. It's a secret I will take with me to the grave. It's not like we would ever become an item, anyway. And to save myself from the humiliation
Alice Friday has come, and I'm wearing a winter jacket while Winnie and I are waiting for the hockey game to begin. The stadium is filled with people. Some are hardcore dedicated fans; others are only here because college hockey games are rumored to be violent. Or, at least, that's what Winnie told me. She said some players don't give a fuck. They know they won't be recruited by the bigger league and just tackle people to the right and left, sometimes even hard in the plexiglass, without care of getting injured. It sounds brutal—no wonder all of these men are built. "Look," Winnie tells me while holding up her binoculars. "Aubrey and Nathan have only gone out on one date. You don't have to feel guilty about having eyes for him. They aren't serious yet." I grimace and move closer to her. It's damn cold in here, and I hope to steal heat from her, even though I realize it's impossible. "I still feel guilty." I turn my attention toward her. We are wearing too many pieces of clot
Alice "Won't Nathan laugh if I give him this thing?" I ask with a funny feeling in my stomach. I can't tell if it's fear or excitement. I've drawn a card with various cartoon characters. One of them says they are sorry, and the other holds up a bouquet of roses while asking to please go out with them. "I don't think so. It's genuine and sweet. It also shows who you are as a person," Winnie says. I glance at her from the table in her room. Her roommate Caroline isn't home right now. "You think so?" "Absolutely. You love drawing. It's part of you, and since you're so bad at talking and getting your point across, use your art. Speak through it." "Thanks," I size her up. Winnie is wearing a burgundy dress that shows off the goods. It suits her. Winnie is blonde and beautiful, with lots of freckles that give her character. "That dress is nice. Are you going to wear it to the party tonight?" "I was thinking about it..." Winnie pulls at the dress while looking herself over in the mirr
Alice I walk over to the flip chart and pick up a red marker. There aren't a lot of colors to work with: green, blue, red, and black, but I think I can create something that will grab Nathan's attention. While music blasts, my hands work their magic. A smile is stretched across my lips, and I pick up my red plastic cup to drink while creating my hilarious art on this paper. I'm drawing a portrait of Nathan, but I'm being bold. This is Picasso's style I'm using for inspiration. Nathan's face is boxed and surrealistic. But you can still tell it's Nathan from the hockey stick, the blue eyes, and the stubble. Oh, and also, by the fantastic abs. Some people stop and stare behind me. I feel a surge of adrenaline when a girl taps my shoulder and says, "Oh, wow, nice work, Alice!" "Is that Nathan?" someone else asks, laughing a little at the big N I've drawn on the forehead. My only answer is a broad smile as I continue to work on my portrait of the man I can't stop thinking about.
Nathan I'm lying in my bed, ignoring my phone that is pinging with what must be another message from Aubrey. She tried to kiss me yesterday, but my body moved out of instinct, and I avoided her lips. Why did I do that? At least Aubrey isn't afraid to tell me how she feels. Unlike someone else who is giving me notes instead of talking to me... Annoyed, I turn around and look over at my windowsill. The crumbled note Alice gave me is there. I haven't opened it yet out of fear of disappointment—what if it's just a mysterious quote? I'm guilty of giving her one myself. I let out a tired sigh. "Why can't you just tell me how you feel, Alice? It would make things easier because... Because simply drawing me on paper isn't enough... Notes aren't either..." Why is everything so complicated when it comes to that woman? My stomach churns. I should get over Alice and make some progress with Aubrey. She likes me, and I enjoyed her company—until a certain other girl drew my attention back
Alice Monday is here, and I feel like death. I haven't slept much this entire weekend. I gave Nathan that "please go out with me" note, and now, I'm nervous about his answer. That is if I will even receive one. Perhaps he decided to go out with Aubrey yesterday and has long forgotten about me. My mom storms into the kitchen like a thundercloud. "Alice, why haven't you shown me this?!" I lift my eyes to hers from my milk and cereal. "What?" Oh no. I freeze when I see my laptop in my mom's hands. My terrible grades from my latest assignments are there. The page was accidentally left open, and now my mom's hands are shaking from rage. I should have logged off the page! My mom barely holds up the laptop when her eyes flash to mine. Her arms are shaking. "Your grades are terrible, Alice!" Not knowing what to say, I just hang my head in shame. It seems to infuriate my mom further. "Why aren't you taking this more seriously? Do you even realize what this means for your future? T
Alice My book is open, and I'm playing with my pen between my fingers. Our professor is talking about something I don't understand. Winnie is taking notes and holding up her hand now and then, but I can't put my heart into this seminar. Pre-law... Becoming a lawyer... This just isn't what I want. I return to my empty block and start drawing. People are discussing things, but the sounds of their voices die. I'm drifting into my own world, and the page turns into a comic recreation of what happened with Nathan and me this morning. After I'm done, my lips curl. I have drawn us in the snow, smiling at each other, and Winnie leans close to steal a peek of what I've drawn. The professor has announced a break, and Winnie gasps. "You're crazy good at drawing manga!" Winnie passes me a smile and studies the comic I've drawn. "Wait, is that you and Nathan?" Her eyes grow huge, and I blush when she shoves her shoulder into mine. "You're finally going out with him, huh?" It feels lik
Alice I'm an idiot. I was in such a hurry to leave my parent's house that I must have left my phone in the hallway while tieing my shoelaces. I'm such a moron! Now I can't call Winnie, and since she wasn't at home when I drove there, I'm unsure where to go. The frathouse? No, what if Winnie isn't there, either? It would be weird to show up at the frat house like, "Hello, Nathan! I promise I didn't plan for this to happen!" He would probably think I was there to get laid. And while I do find him attractive, I'm just... It's too early to lose my virginity, okay?! My stomach churns, and a sigh leaves my lips. "So what do I do?" I whisper to myself. I felt uncomfortably warm earlier. The temperature is dropping, and my nose is running. Even now, my back is drenched in a cold sweat, so staying inside a cold car isn't a good idea. I'm probably about to come down with a cold or a fever, which isn't good since I'm unsure where to spend the night. Right now, I'm parked right