POVMillie I arrive back at the hotel room just after 6 pm and Steph isn’t back yet. I’m all alone again and with each passing minute without a distraction, I’m missing him. It’s been 14 hours since I walked in on the most horrific scene. I hate that I miss someone who dares to do that to me. I replay some of the events in my head as I lay myself on the queen bed looking up at the white popcorn ceiling. I love you He actually told me he loves me, it was the very worst situation to tell someone you love them especially when your actions contradict your words. Do I believe he loves me? Yeah..maybe..Do I think he genuinely wanted to fuck Aspen? I don’t know, not really but clearly this deal meant more to him than me. Do I believe we can move past this one day? No, and that self conformation hurts like a bitch. Although X is still alive, he may as well be dead. We will not talk anymore, we will not see each other, hug, kiss, or share each other’s bodies again. Oh god. That part wa
POV Millie I sit myself down cross-legged on the soft green grass. I set my less-than-impressive bouquet of flowers down next to the beautiful white roses. I’m in absolute awe right now by whoever did this for my mom, she totally deserves it. The beautiful scenery is a perfect way to tell my mom what I came here to say. “Mom?” I say as my voice breaks, great…I’ve gotten one single word out and I’m already on the verge of tears again. I take a deep breath and exhale trying to compose myself. “Mom,” I say in a much more composed way. “I need to talk to you about something. I don’t know how to say this but just know I love you okay? Just know I will never forget you and the relationship we had, just know I’m sorry for what I did to you and just know I’ll always carry you with me, but I need to let you go.” I say and the tears come flowing as I knew they would when I said those heart wrench words out loud. “You wouldn’t want this for me. You didn’t give me life so I could stop it
POVXI am just now pulling into the house after my two-hour drive back from San Diego. Earlier this morning, I went to a flower shop and bought some flowers for Millie’s mom. I know Millie will probably never know about the flowers or the note but honestly, it wasn’t for her to see. It was an appreciation to her mother for raising the love of my life. I don’t know where Millie and Stephanie stayed last night or even if they stayed in San Diego last night but I slept in that prick, Ghost’s truck in a nearby parking lot of the cemetery. I was so exhausted from the lack of sleep, drugs, alcohol, driving and just everything this past weekend brought on. My hands are still so fucked up that I need to get Evelyn back over here later to get the rest of the glass out. As soon as I had that camera notification come up on my phone yesterday morning, I booked it out of Julian’s place leaving Evelyn in some serious confusion. By now, Evelyn is used to our antics. She gets paid well to not qu
POVX“Mom?” I ask in complete shock. She looks the same, only a little older than I last remembered. “Hi Xavier,” she says, I haven’t heard that voice in twenty years. “Wha..what are you doing here?” I ask. “Can I come in?” She asks looking over my shoulder. I really just want to slam the door in her face and say fuck you but curiosity is getting the better of me. “Uh, okay,” I say moving out of the way so she could come inside. “Wow, look at this place! It’s beautiful.” She says looking around. “And look at you, all grown up and so handsome,” she says touching my forearm. “Yeah…” I say still in a confused state of mind. “We should talk,” she says pointing to my black leather couch. I don’t know what my feelings are right now but I sit down as she suggests. Now that we’re both sitting, she begins to talk, “I’m sorry Xavier,” she says looking down. “I don’t need your sorry’s, it’s a little too late for that,” I say matter of fact. “Fair enough..” she says with her hands
POV Millie I’m finally back in Los Angeles after spending way too much time with myself without enough distractions in the car. I pull up into the motel that I reserved for the next two weeks. I intend to contact my new boss Marlene to see if she’d be willing to take me sooner to start working. Originally, I wanted to take some time for myself, get my ducks in a row, move into my new apartment, take a week, and move things in. Of course, life doesn’t care to go as planned and it’s in my best interest to just start working already. This motel is a dump but it’s only temporary. Luckily, Steph will be staying with me starting tomorrow. I just need to make it another day alone and hopefully not get myself into any trouble with the shady people walking around this place. When I’m finished checking in with the creepy front desk guy, I go find my room. “Room 12,” I say to myself looking at the rusted out number on the door. I get in and oh boy. “It’s only two weeks, it’s only tempora
POVX“Ow!” I say as my head hits the floor and look up to Millie with my sunglasses still on. “Oh..shit! I’m sorry I didn’t know you were sitting against the door,” she say sounding surprisingly too nice. “Umm..I mean, good..you deserved that.” She says more confidently putting her hands on her hips. I inwardly smile to myself. My girl. I sit up rubbing the back of my head on the part that I fell on and take off my sunglasses. “I deserve a lot more than that baby,” I say and she scrunches her eyebrows together. I put my hands up in surrender, “sorry, habit.” I say glumly. Millie crosses her arms over he chest, damn those tanned legs look fucking beautiful from where I’m at. She notices me checking her out, “X…focus.” She says annoyed. I sit my back against the door with my elbows resting on my thighs. I involuntarily bite at my cuticles as a nervous habit and look up to Millie who is staring at my hands. “Jesus Christ X, your hands look awful!” Millie exclaims, although she
POVMillie I hate this. I hate that he still has an effect on me and I hate that I still love him. Those words that just came out of his mouth made my heart sink and my stomach flutter with butterflies. It’s such an awful situation, being in love with someone that you just simply can’t be with. What he did has gone past the point of no return for us. I hurt for him, I hate that his mom did that to him, for all of the things she did to him. I may have ill will feeling towards this man but I don’t wish him any of this. I don’t wish this on anyone. He’s clearly torn apart inside and for good reason but it killed me to see the evidence run down his face. I wanted to take that pain away for him, the way he wanted to take it away for me the night I told him about my mom’s passing. We have a unique relationship each other but at the end of the day, we both want something that we just simply cannot achieve despite best efforts. I’ve really known this all along but I fought it, I fought ag
POV X I drive away from the shit motel feeling at peace with how the time spent with Millie went. She has her guard up and understandably so. I fucked up and I have to pay the price for that. My phone rings from the pocket of my jeans and silently pray it’s Millie asking me to come back. Nope, it’s fucking Julian. “What is it, Julian?” I ask harshly not even meaning it. “Yo, Hugo is here and wants to talk to you,” he says. “Ugh great…okay I’ll be there soon,” I say annoyed. “Julian, do me a solid, get Adria to the meeting too,” I say sternly. “Uh..you sure man?” He asks confused. “Yeah I’m fucking sure,” I say and hang up on him. I pull up to the house, parking my car in the private garage. I get out, taking my time, and waking to the meeting room. I stand outside the door with my hand cradling the gold door knob. Go time. I open the door to see Hugo sitting in my chair again, his two guys on either side of him, Julian beside one of them and Adria looking nervous as fuck