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Ruin me
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37 Days My fault
POVStephanie X has followed Dr. Roberts into a room. We all sit nervously waiting for X to come back out with any sort of information on Millie. “Poor Millie, I hope she’s okay,” Mia says sorrowfully. “Yeah me too, I can’t believe she’s pregnant,” Alina says in disbelief. They speak amongst themselves as I listen but don’t participate in the conversation. The feeling of guilt pangs my consciousness. She texted me, not just once but many times desperate for my reply, for my help. If I had just looked at my phone sooner would we all be gathered in a different scenario? I have failed my best friend when she needed me the most and the repercussions of my actions are me sitting in the waiting room of St. Thomas Hospital as her condition remains unknown. A loud bang, no multiple loud bangs makes us all jump in our seats. There is a call for security over the intercom to the floor we’re currently on. I don’t need to hypothesize on this particular situation, I know it’s for X. We al
37 Days Sticks and stones
POVX I’m a full-blown motherfucking mess. “Fuck!” I scream out in anguish. I pace around with my hands on my hips endlessly until Julian comes out. “Xavier, what happened?” Julian asks in a serious tone, he never calls me by my name. “Fuck, Julian,” I pull at the roots of my hair wishing that this was the only pain I was feeling. “She was drugged man, roofied at a high dose, and she..” I can’t even say the words. I ball my fist, nails engraving in my palms, “She lost the baby.” “Julian she lost the baby and I’m not even in there with her right now to be with her. She knows what happened by now, she fucking knows and no one she loves is with her, she’s all alone in pain,” I explain remorsefully. “Shit, I’m so fucking sorry,” he says with sadness etching his face. “She’s getting a D&C soon to remove everything from her uterus,” I tell him. “Wow man, I just don’t have any words,” Julian shakes his head. “Who the fuck did this Julian? Who would do this to her? I don’t underst
37 Days The monster within
POVXI immediately stand up and away from the woman who has just accused me of such a heinous act. “No, why would you think that?” I somehow manage to form the question. “You’re more than capable,” is all she says in the coldest of ways. “I mean, yeah sure I’m capable but Millie I would never inflict harm on you or the baby,” I say in shaky breaths. She glares my way like I’m the most fucking despicable thing she’s ever laid eyes on. “The same baby you wanted to abort only five days ago? What a perfect plan you managed to come up with,” She says disgusted. Who the fuck is she right now? I don’t understand this. I was sure I would walk in here to see a crying heartbroken woman that I would console, pushing my own pain to the side to be strong for her. Somewhere in the midst, she’s made me to be the villain. Is she just grieving or does she really think I did this to her? “Millie, stop that, yeah I didn’t want a baby but I wouldn’t just do something this heinous just to get my w
37 Days Pushing back
POV Stephanie“Julian, I can’t go with you guys right now, I’ve seen Millie shut down before and I need to be with her, I’m the only real family she has, and how to deal with this,” I explain to him. He nods his head, kissing me on the cheek, “I love you, babe, if you need me call and if you need a ride I’ll pick you up okay?” “Okay, I love you Jul, wish me luck,” I say wrapping my arms around him before he leaves. Today has gone from amazing to downright atrocious in so little time. I’m not sure what happened between Millie and X but if I know my best friend she spewed her venom all over him. Millie has a tendency to shut down who she is at times, losing herself altogether honestly. Something sinister arises as a defense mechanism for her pain. She means no harm and she always makes it right again but when she’s in this state of mind she can be pretty vile to the people she cares for most, pushing them far far away. I don’t know the exact reason but I think she subconsciously pus
37 Days Come forward
POVXThe silence in the car is as dark as the night sky. Not a single word has been spoken by Julian or me. He knows better at this point to not push me when I’m in this state of mind. I watch the city lights from out the window as I fight the urge to burn the whole damn city down to mere ashes. “I want you to get Mia to collect all the names of the bartenders and waitresses that worked tonight,” I state cooly. He glances my way and then back to the road, “Consider it done.” I may have vile feelings toward Millie at the moment but it doesn’t change the fact that somebody will pay for this. …Sleepless night. I paced around the penthouse endlessly until I couldn’t stand a second longer. Questions filled my mind to insanity. Was this on purpose? Was it an accident? Was it meant for her? Was it meant for someone else? Who was behind this? A waitress? A partygoer? A rival? These things need to be taken seriously. If it was a rival I need to be on guard, sleeping with one eye
37 Days My mess
POV Millie It’s Sunday night and I’m told I can leave in the morning. Nurses come in and out of the room every so often. Steph sits on a chair in the corner of the hospital room, she hasn’t left my side since she first came here other than to Uber to the house for Mia’s car and my phone, the store to grab us some things, oh and the book store to buy another book. She’s reading yet another dark romance novel. She insisted on reading me some chapters and although they make me question my morals and I won’t tell Steph this, I already ordered her recommended books on Amazon. I pull up on my light green hospital gown that keeps falling off my shoulder and adjust my position on the uncomfortable bed. My lower stomach is cramping a bit but the pain meds are helping. I stare out of the window at the dark sky, the same darkness I feel in my heart. My emotions have been varying every hour. Sadness, anger, numbness, rage. I laugh sometimes, cry others, and attempt to make peace with my realit
37 Days Working overtime
POVXI’m on my tenth set of pull-ups, sweat glistening my entire body. My hair is drenched and pissing me off as it falls to my eyebrows, constantly needing to be pushed back. I’m trying to channel my rage without alcohol and working out is the only way I know how. I’ve been in my gym for two hours now, Julian joined for forty five minutes and then dipped like a weakling. I’m on my sixth rep when my phone vibrates and lights up with a notification. I finish my pull-ups, wipe myself off with a towel, gulp down some water and check my phone. Millie. I can’t do this right now. I do fifty push ups before I decide to text Millie back so I don’t lose my shit on her. She wants to talk tomorrow, I just don’t think I have it in me to face her yet. I don’t respond to her requests because it’s something I need to sleep on. We’ll see how I feel about it later. I do a few sets of Russian twists before I decide to end my workout for the night. I leave the gym dripping sweating, patting mys
37 Days The villain I’ll be
POVMillie I’m awoken by a knock at X’s door. X is still sleeping, miles away from me may I add. He was incredibly sweet to take care of me, holding me in the shower, dressing me, and sleeping next to me when I knew he didn’t really want to do any of it but he still did. For me. “X” I gently shake him awake. “What?” He grumbles out. “Someone is at the door,” I say. “Ugh!” He grunts, “stay here I’ll be right back.”He yawns and sleepily sits on the edge of the bed running his fingers through his hair and walks out of the bedroom. I rub my eyes and grab my phone from the nightstand, five o’clock?! My god that’s the longest I’ve slept in days, I really needed that. I have a text from Steph How are you feeling? Let me know if I can bring anything up for you. Do you need a spicy novel? Also, how’d the conversation with X go? That was two hours ago. Hey! Sorry I fell asleep. I’m feeling fine. We haven’t talked yet because we fell asleep. I might need some new yoga pants in a bit
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