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Dark memories
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A Castle of Secrets Truths
My chest heaved as the sound moved closer. I stared up at the paintings on the ceiling, trying to focus on anything, but my chest burned from lack of oxygen. Something grabbed my arms, pulling me up, “Lily, deep breaths.” My panicked forest locked with equally panicked ice. One. Two. Three. Four. Elliot’s eyes never left mine as I came down from the high. Five. Six. Finally, my racing heart began to level out and Elliot pulled me flush to his body, just holding me. The tears began flowing as I realized what I’d done. Another panic attack. I haven’t had one in so long. I'm usually able to stop them, but the stress of everything that happened today must have sent my mind into a frenzy. But as I was coming down, my eyes traveled the room, realizing how absolutely fucked I was. This was my sanctuary, and I’d just blown it wide open. I pulled away from Elliot, scooting backwards while holding the towel tight to my chest. “You have to go,” I whispered, frantically lo
A Castle of Secrets Final tour
In the weeks following our deep conversation in my oasis, Elliot retreated. Our relationship returned to the way it had been before. He avoided me any chance he could, and I pretended as if my life wasn’t spiraling out of control. As much as I tried not to let it bother me, it did. The silence was deafening, and I longed to know more. Something about his words fed into my curiosity. He’d given me enough to wonder, but not enough to put the pieces together. I wanted to know more, but I was too stubborn to push. If he was interested in a relationship of any kind, he would have to be the one to open up. Chaos had been nearly absent, given that fact that Elliot and I barely spoke. For some reason or another, I craved him. He’d only shown me lust, and nothing more, but maybe that was enough for me? Maybe that's all I'd ever be to anyone. The desire for him to touch me grew stronger every day. I longed for it. Stole glances at Elliot in hopes of seeing onyx black in place of icy blue
A Castle of Secrets Panic Attack
My heart stopped beating as I locked eyes with Zach. I tried to take short, shallow breaths, but nothing satisfied the growing burn in my chest. My lungs felt as if they'd been set on fire. Slowly moving my hand down to grasp Elliots, I squeezed tight. His head snapped towards me, but I was frozen in place, unable to peel my eyes from Zach’s. He looked indifferent. Unbothered by my presence. How? How can you stare into the woman’s eyes that you assaulted and feel.... nothing. I felt everything. The terror of knowing what was going to happen to me. The weight of his body against mine. The dirty, ruined feel of my body when I finally woke up, alone, in the woods outside of that party. The dryness in my eyes from laying there, sobbing for hours. The way that every day, for years, I looked in the mirror and saw the handprints, smeared mascara, and leaves matted in my hair. The panic attacks when I relived the moment. And to top it all off, the fucking shame of him knowing my darkest d
A Castle of Secrets Your worst nightmare(Elliot POV)
TRIGGER WARNING(Torture) It didn’t take long for Lilliana to fall asleep after I’d stopped talking. She looked utterly exhausted. Hearing her mother speak to her when she was so obviously not well was disgusting. She was like a goddamned disease that Lilliana needed to be free of. I’m not sure why I told her about Gweneviere. Just thinking about that chapter of my life leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but seeing the genuine look in Lily’s eyes made the pain less. “So, what are we going to do about the prick at the school?” Chaos questioned, sounding annoyed that I’d put it off for so long already. “I’d like to kill him,” I growled, remembering the way Lilliana had reacted as soon as their eyes met. I glanced between them in that gymnasium and the fucking pig had to audacity to look smug staring at her while she slowly fell apart before our eyes. “Now we are on the same page,” Chaos sounded overly cheerful about the prospect of killing the coach. Not that I blame him. He hurt L
A Castle of Secrets Starless sky
TRIGGER WARNING(Torture/Sadism) “Where are we going?” I was still lingering between awake and asleep. Elliot’s arms held me tight to his chest, bridal style, as we walked through the woods. He was eerily silent and hadn’t spoken a word to me since I woke up. “Elliot, what’s going on?” My voice, though still laced with sleep, was firmer this time. He didn’t pause his stride but glanced down to look into my eyes. For the first time, I didn’t see the inky black swimming within his icy blue pools. “I’ll explain everything when we get there,” he whispered, turning his attention back towards our destination. That was cryptic. Resting my head against his chest, I reveled in the way it felt. This might be the most I’ll ever get from Elliot. This little breadcrumb of affection. But he could be taking you to murder you.... Throw you into the deep, black abyss hiding beneath the church. Maybe his Lycan finally won their little battle, and he’s ordered him to tear me to piec
A Castle of Secrets Raw connection
A loud knocking on my door startled me out of a deep sleep. I leaped out of bed, hurrying over to the door. “Seb, what’s going on?” I whispered, rubbing the tiredness in my eyes with the ball of my palm. “Your mother would like to meet with you this morning,” he glanced around me to the bed where Elliot was sleeping. I followed his gaze, and my cheeks flushed remembering the dream I’d had last night. He was sleeping without a blanket, and turned away from me, as he always did. “What time is it?” I yawned, feeling exceptionally sleepy today. Blinking a few times, my eyes tried to adjust, but my mind wasn't catching up.“I miss you,” he dodged my question, “My days have been lonely without our training sessions. Can we please at least spend time together? I know I screwed up. I just... I don’t want to let your father down by disobeying your mother.” I didn’t hate Seb, I just...wasn’t particularly interested in anything we had before. I have so few people in my life that I can
A Castle of Secrets Seven months
My mother was speaking, but I couldn’t focus on the words coming from her mouth. I could still hear Elliot’s words. I could still feel him all over me. Inside of me. He had remained eerily quiet since we arrived, but I could feel his presence all around me. Everything changed this morning, and I don't know whether to be elated or terrified. “......I had to push out the ceremony two weeks since the alterations on your dress aren’t complete yet,” my mother’s voice sounded irritated, “I’d suggest you make sure you watch yourself until it arrives. I’d hate to have to push it back again.” Rolling my eyes, I blew out an exaggerated breath. Her words were a threat, one that she would happily dole out either way. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do; she would make my life miserable.I chose to ignore her dig. The dress was created for the crowning ceremony of every princess. It was a beautiful, deep emerald, green. The bodice was fitted, with crystals adorning in a webbed pattern
A Castle of Secrets King and Queen of Nymeria
I can’t stop staring at myself in the mirror. Seeing Nymeria’s crowning dress on a hanger and having it on my body was like being in two entirely different worlds. The dress fits like a glove after alterations. The corset had a mesh overlay, showing the creamy color of my skin beneath its green hue. Gold crystals created lines before falling off into a leaf like design on the tule of the skirt. The shoulders were slightly structured, giving the whole thing a more regal appearance. I felt beautiful twirling back and forth. My auburn hair was curled in soft waves, void of any clips or barrettes that would take the shine away from my crown. I’d opted for softer makeup, with warm tones to bring out my green eyes. “You have destroyed that dress for future generations,” my mother’s voice pierced my eardrums from behind. “Would it kill you to bite your tongue when you feel the need to speak your venomous words at me?” I turned to face her, wishing that her words didn’t hold as mu
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