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26. Cillian
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A Damaged Alpha 27. Cillian
I’m an Alpha on my knees because that is what the newly widowed Bianca deserves. In the darkness of the night my knees are in the squelching brown mud, the fire torch of her doorway flickering between us. Inside the house bustles with activity as a mourning vigil begins. To my suprise Bianca offered me her hand. I had half expected her to be angry with me, for failing to protect two members of her family. Instead she tried to pull me upwards and invite me inside but I shook my head. “Alpha, he loved you so much-” she started but I interrupted her with a shake of my head. “I cannot. I cannot stop until I know who has killed him. My soul won’t let me rest Bianca I…I am asking your permission to head up north and investigate tomorrow.” “Not attend Jackson’s pyre?” her voice light and gasping. “There is no man, not any Alpha fit to light the pyre of such a man. You should do it,” taking her slender, shaking fingers in mine. Looking up at her from my mud-drenched stance on my knees.
A Damaged Alpha 28. Matilda
It is becoming harder and harder not to break. The small room Briss so kindly gave me feels like a prison. Especially when Tange spends hours of the day outside it. He insists he wants to get to know me. Yet he knows his scent is flooding the room. His wolf’s call to Nina is almost over-powering.That red pepper scent that reminds me so badly of Cillian, merged with a murky mossy tang, is everywhere. It means my dreams are now lust-fuelled assaults of my mind. I curse Nina each morning as I wake up with slick thighs and a hoarse throat.I have given the room key to Briss, making him promise not to unlock it during the night. I do not trust Nina one bit. She is so desperate to match with Tange’s wolf that I half expected her to make me sleepwalk straight into his bed. I have not spoken to her for several days. I know what games she is playing.The past two nights, I dreamt of unlocking the door, standing naked, and beckoning my mate forward. I offer my body to him like a sacrifice, sta
A Damaged Alpha 29. Cillian
I can do this. I swore to Zena I wouldn’t do anything rash until we knew how to get Vez back. Right now, it is taking every sinew of strength not to punch that smug bastard in the head. He knows exactly what he is doing. Every stroke of Matilda’s hair, every squeeze of her smaller body into his, he has his eyes on me. He knows this is killing me.Maybe if he had been genuine. If he had truly sought to comfort her sadness for Jackson’s death, then maybe I could start to get a handle on this. Instead, he is peacocking. He is showing off his ownership of her instead of caring. His eyes have a peculiar gleam. Grey tinged with fierier shades of orange and yellow where once there was more orange. He is taller, prouder and stronger in every way.This place is grim too. It is not for Matilda. So much grey concrete, the tall pine trees sapping all the daylight and happiness away. I hate myself for imagining Matilda living at Cragstone, with me. The rising sun would bathe her perfect skin ever
A Damaged Alpha 30. Matilda
I despised myself all day. That dinner was the final straw. Even my mother, by the end, was holding my hand and checking I was okay. “I have never known you talk so much in your life! What has happened to my quiet girl,” she said with confusion in her soft blue eyes.My natural shyness comes from being one five. Some personalities rise to the top, like Naomi and Leona, and others are happy to be spectators like me. Yet tonight, it felt that if I didn’t keep talking that somehow the world beneath my feet would crumble.I am holding onto my sanity with the ragged edges of my fingertips. Sat next to me at the table was my mate. The silver haired lion of a man whose touch sends fireworks shivering down my spine. The person who Nina wailed for. Yet across from me was Cillian. The man I have loved for so long.As soon as everyone else retired, leaving us alone in the grey, miserable room, Tange took my hand and whispered, “now kitten, come and join me.”“Where?”“In our bed. I have been pat
A Damaged Alpha 31. Matilda
Wordlessly Cillian, his hands planted on my hips guided me towards the bed. His blue eyes were locked onto mine. I had just my bra and panties on as I sat on the edge of the bed.He stood before me and steadily removed his clothing. In the dim light of the room, I greedily took in his perfect skin, those toned muscles, and rugged shoulders. All leading down towards a sculpted v-line. Without thinking, I stuck my hand out and felt along that ridge of muscle. My fingers were inside the hem of his briefs as he let out a low growl. I pulled him towards me with a soft grin. As my back hit the mattress, he leaned over my body, supported by his elbow and arm as he lavished kisses on me.My hands roamed his bare chest and shoulders. He was so perfect, more than I had ever imagined a man could be."I love you," I murmured as he undid the front fastening of my bra. "I wanted to do this so differently…I wanted it to be perfect, I wanted you in my room as my Luna. I wanted to shower you in eve
A Damaged Alpha 32. Matilda
I scuttled back to my room and almost threw myself into the shower. Dawn had risen and I had to meet my mother for breakfast with Tange. It was excruciating. Sipping orange juice and eating pancakes I knew I could prepare better myself. I had to nod politely at small talk.“Is Alpha Cillian not joining us?” Mama asked.“No he requested Briss take him and Franz out straight away this morning, after completing their inspection I believe the plan is to return and pick you up,” Briss replied disinterestedly. “Ah well, more opportunity for us to catch up!” she said with a wide smile and I wished with all my heart I could tell her what was going on. How in a few hours I would be severing the bond that still flickers between myself and the grey-haired man beside me. His hand rested on my back, toying with the ends of my hair. Nina purred, less enthusiastically than before knowing how much I hated her manipulations but she couldn't help basking in his touch. My skin goosepimpled as the spark
A Damaged Alpha 33. Cillian
The journey with Briss had been productive enough. Seeing all the traps and devious little schemes going on at the human border just showed how much he has to contend with. I saw the truck tracks about an hour away from Tange’s, where the exchanges must be taking place. As Briss suggests, there is no way to know when it is happening, but there is something afoot. I don’t believe Tange could know this area as well as he does, having farmed it for so many years and not know. “I want them under your command, not Tange.”“I’m not sure how that will work, Alpha,” he had replied cautiously as we rumbled back up the driveway. “There is change coming Briss. I don’t think Tange is going to be the Beta of this area for very long. I want you to consider your options. I can always bring a guy in from Cragstone, there are long-standing Beta’s who we can depend on but I know we need to give younger men a chance too. Like yourself.”“Well, the first thing I would do is post a permanent watch on th
A Damaged Alpha 34. Matilda
It has been just under a month since I chose to stay. The cells are cold and miserable yet every night I am grateful to not have Tange try and force himself on me. It would appear he doesn’t particularly want me for a mate either.It looks like I am just the unfortunate result of having stolen Cillian’s wolf, he didn’t bank on getting his mate too. Nina is inconsolable. Apologies and whining in the back of my mind for endless days. I haven’t really spoken to her. I have forgiven her but I don’t want to speak to her. She was following the call of the mate bond but the fact she would have happily had me sleep with Tange, give my heart and forget Cillian doesn’t sit well with me. I am uneasy around her voice, the trust is broken.I sit numbly. I eat and drink as required. I bathe, change my clothes as expected to prevent myself turning feral. Apart from that I sit and stare at the walls and wonder just how I have fallen into this trap.The shock of the revelations as they landed on me.
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