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36. Cillian
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A Damaged Alpha 37. Matilda
I seriously should have stolen some food. I could have planned this whole thing better to be honest. Shifting and sprinting a full day and night has left me wrecked. I think I’m heading south. To be honest, every half hour, I curse and wish I had Leona or Naomi with me. Those two are just so skilled at reading the stars, the drift of the wind. I just found a river and kept on running, knowing that a river runs past Cragstone. It might not be the same source, I could be heading north for all I know, but I am getting away from Tange.Tange, Phillipe, and the tangled web of secrets that I need to get to Cillian as soon as possible.If it was possible to remove Vez from Cillian, there must equally be a way to return him. Tange will be searching for me. I wonder if Briss would turn me in. After damaging his own career in protecting me and giving me his room, would he try to restore his fortunes if we were to meet alone on a dirt covered road?After running all day and night, the dawn brok
A Damaged Alpha 38. Cillian
Chatting to Phillipe was an entirely different experience to Nikolai. A broad smile, compliments on my Betas, cigars, and throat-scorching brandy on tap. Unnervingly, his eyes kept changing colour. Blue, green, purple swirls left me feeling unsure of just who I was talking to. Like a boa constrictor dazzling its prey, was all this extravagance to distract me? Am I missing the big picture?I could feel the back of my neck burning, for not only was Zeke glaring at me the whole time, but so was Beta Patrick. All clipped dark hair, green eyes, and a slender, wiry frame, he stood out among the bulky muscle surrounding him. Lurking on the fringes of the white marquee at opposite ends, neither men were subtle in their interest."So Alpha Cillian," he drawled, pouring another slug of brandy into our glasses. "How's the life of an Alpha?"Well, what a fucking question. "It's been a tough start. Could do without some idiotic lunatic armed with wolfsbane trying to wipe everyone out."I kept my
A Damaged Alpha 39. Cillian
I perform as required. I help with Genevieve after she collapsed, placing her unconscious body into the tent. I am a calm, steadying presence despite the chaos in my head. When Nikolai angrily remarked about making sure anyone, I love was properly protected by bodyguards my mind immediately flew to Matilda.Was she safe with Tange? But then, would she really be safe with me. Seeing as death appeared to be stalking me at every turn, I was hardly a good bet right now. Even so I knew I would defend her with my life before a single hair on her head was harmed. Would the smirking Tange feel the same?Despite knowing she had chosen Tange over me, I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her. I have to be the one to tell her beloved father being murdered. Even if she turns to Tange for comfort, I owe it to her to be there. Tonight proves I can’t pretend she doesn’t exist any longer. The failure and guilt washing over me steals my strength. How many more women must I tell I faile
A Damaged Alpha 40. Matilda
The acrid, chemical smell of lemons is the first thing that hits me.Then the fact I cannot move my hands. Rough, painfully sticking tape clamp them together.Blinking, the room is miserably dark and from the soft cushioning underneath me I realise I am on a mattress. As my vision gradually adjusts, I recognise the grey walls, the dark, almost charred wood of the four-poster bed. I am back at Beta Tange’s.I am back in the room I shared with Cillian. The same bed I fell apart in his arms with, heard his pained confession and felt love. My head is pounding like I’ve taken a beating. I can barely make out Nina's presence. In a panic, I wonder if she has been taken from me like Vez. My bound hands struggle towards my neck, checking for cuts. After a few minutes of wriggling, I realise I can sense her faintly, just enough to quell my panic. I still have a wolf, albeit a completely tranquillised one.Whatever the hell that woman, Ruth, did to me has left me eerily alone with my thoughts.
A Damaged Alpha 41. Cillian
Zeke eyed Briss with nothing but hostility as he clambered onto the back seat of the truck next to Zena. The night was cool, but the bodies all crammed together quickly made the atmosphere uncomfortable. As the truck trundled on its way along to the grim concrete world of Tange again, I spun around in my seat.“Why was Matilda in danger then? I left her with her mate,” even though the very idea sounded bitter to my tongue.“I don’t know, I was sent back out to the human border the instant you left. I came back last week as usual to report and noticed she wasn’t around.”It was impossible to keep my face straight and voice calm. “So where was she then!”Briss coloured pink, the first time I had seen anything fluster his usually placid, tanned face. “I heard…she was being kept in the cells. Well they’re old storge rooms but prisoners have been placed there in the past.”“What the hell!” I shouted, slapping the dashboard, “I only left her there because I thought she wanted Tange! How the
A Damaged Alpha Chapter 42. Cillian
The dagger feels good in my hands. There had been hardly any noise when I took down Tange apart from Zena’s shrieks. If I was lucky perhaps Ruth was still asleep. Retracing my steps up the staircase everything reminded me of Matilda. My pulse thundered almost painfully as I wondered where on earth she had run to. I did not doubt Briss had tried to find her. Like the calm within the eye of a hurricane I found myself smiling softly at her useless sense of direction. For a few brief seconds the rage inside me settled down to something more manageable as I remembered tracking her down with Franz and Zeke one summer's day when we were about fourteen as she got herself lost coming back from the river. Literally the place we hung out every day. She had blushed beetroot red and explained she had been daydreaming so much she found herself in a whole new section of the woods. I remember it because she wouldn’t meet my eye. I had been so worried about her even then I had been annoyed she woul
A Damaged Alpha 43. Matilda
I recognised Cilian’s footsteps with horror. Even trying to be quiet there was no disguising his movement. When you've loved someone for as long as I have, you know all their traits. Good and bad. It also meant when he cursed Ruth so vehemently for everything she had taken I shut my eyes and braced myself for pain. In that second I believed my life was to end for Cillian is a man of his word. Nina remained adrift and useless, possibly stunned into silence by the wolfsbane. I couldn’t move an inch because of the heavy tape wrapped around me. I could breathe raggedly through my nose, but the sirens silenced even that sound. I was completely dependent on Cillian remembering the man he is meant to be. To not let the pain break him. However when he flipped me over and the silver blade slammed against my throat, I wasn’t afraid, I knew as soon as he saw my eyes he would realise. I was expecting relief, maybe even joy at seeing him again. I didn’t expect my heart to lurch in sorrow.
A Damaged Alpha 44. Cillian
I’m halfway to being sane again. Her tiny hand in mine. She’s safe, and we’re going to be okay. I have no doubt in my mind that facing down my anger, my pain and embarrassment and choosing not to kill was the fork in the road Zena warned me about. For if I had harmed her, that would have been the end of my sanity. There would have been no coming back from that. Not in a million years. Even with Vez restored I would have been a wrecked shell. I know in my soul that making a mistake as vile as killing my own mate would have left me uncontrollable. I’d have wanted to main and destroy everything linked to my catastrophe. But thanks to my father’s wisdom, my mother’s kind heart and the Betas who have guided me through my life I was just, only just, able to see beyond the hate. The raw pink of her skin where the tape had been felt like my own stab wounds. Lookiny at each red welt made my guts churn. All the hate that swelled within has been replaced with a desperate desire to make our
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