I am definitely not wanted here.
Freya and Phillipe are polite enough but clearly, having the grief-stricken mate of her brother around is cramping her ceremony planning. It has been almost a week since the funeral pyre. Ten days since I last saw Nikolai.
Ten days since my brother suggested there is something sinister about him. Questions I cannot possibly ask of his family, I am still a stranger to them.
His lack of presence defines me. Every servant, courtier and member of the public sees me on my own. I imagine I am the Lonely Luna or some other cruel nickname.
Does he regret marking me? My fingers frequently run over the small, raised bumps under my collarbone.
I remember how he did it. I was on top of him, naked, riding his dick and moaning my way through a third, maybe fourth earth-shattering orgasm when he just did it. No asking, no checking it was what I wanted, he just bared his teeth and sunk them in.
I’m not complaining. It gave me a blindingly intense orgasm. My body had spasmed in response, clenching him viciously inside me as his eyes glittered almost entirely red with ruby. At the time I had found it daring and sexy, immediately returning the gesture. I don’t know why but the fact he just took what he wanted from me made my heart skip a beat.
He was unlike any man I've ever met. Every other guy from Shadowlands is a joker, mischievous and flirtatious. He is as steady as a rock, knowing only I saw that raw, ravenous side to him was thrilling.
Not that I’d seen him since, his absence forming a joke that only got more bitter inside my head. The other bitter idea was that maybe he hadn’t come back because I was awful in bed? He was my first in every way, perhaps I had been useless without realising?
Maybe my kisses were sloppy, my body not attractive to him. Had he actually found me less than ideal as a mate?
All these competing thoughts are dangerous. /Now you’re being foolish/ Priya chided, /he was brought to his knees in pleasure just the same as you. /
I have taken several long lonely walks down to the lagoon. Silver City itself is too bustling and vicious for me. I’m used to pleasant market towns, kindly traders and positive people. Here there is steeliness. People either sink or swim.
Which result is in my destiny?
Three more times the wailing cries have interrupted my sleep. Every morning I am forced to socialise with either Alpha Alexander or Freya and Phillipe. It is a needlessly awkward affair.
At every occasion, Phillipe acts as like a businessman. Wearing a grey suit, his shock of bright white hair dazzling against his blue, purple and green eyes. He and Freya are only four years older than me, yet you would think I was a baby from the lack of intelligent conversation.
His ever-changing eyes still unnerve me, though it would be rude to ask what the hell is going on there. Blue, green and purple. Wolves since childhood, he didn’t gain his as a teen from Changing as the rest of us did.
Alpha Alexander, as always, is wearing a white shirt, with a deep v-line cut into it. Paired with a sweeping black cloak he is a typical White Forest man.
“Alpha Alexander, have you heard anything from Nikolai?” I openly enquire whilst buttering my toast, keeping my desperate hope light and airy.
“No.” was the immediate slap-down response from the blazing dark eyes of Alpha Alexander. Well screw him. I don’t have to stay here. Another night of abandonment and I shall get the carriage to take me back to Shadowlands.
“Do you expect to?” struggling to keep my composure.
“I do not, he does not check in with me as to his coming and going.”
“Of course, it is a shame he does not, we are likely to miss each other,” I reply coldly, stirring my tea with venom. For if he returns tomorrow I shall already be gone. That will teach him to mess about with my heart.
"Do not think of travelling far," he muttered as heart skipped a beat. "Four dead rogues have been found on the border of our mutual packs."
I nodded mutely, wondering whether my vengeful brother or Nikolai was involved. So escape home is out for now.
This frustration is why I am stomping my way around the lagoon on my own. Every pebble I toss into the water is aimed at my invisible mate’s head.
I know my own mind. I won’t be controlled by my pitiful longing for a man who is absent. The problem is that every time I close my eyes I either see my beautiful parents, or Nikolai stripping me. The memory of his unshaven face brushing against my inner thighs still makes me shudder with desire.
He was demanding, rough and sexy as hell. I gave over control willingly, but now? I’m so furious now that even if he turned up naked in my bed with a bunch of roses and a grovelling apology I’d turn around and walk away.
/You wouldn’t/ Priya chuckles dirtily. /Not if he was naked/ and I grin, continuing my walk around the huge lagoon. At least there is peace of mind out here. Shadowlands is landlocked with no huge lakes and rivers, so this lagoon is a revelation.
The sheer joy of lying on a jetty and listening to the gently slapping water helps ease my fevered imagination.
/Not the dirty side of your imagination though/ Priya joked, knowing just thinking about Nikolai made my skin tingle and breath shorten.
It wasn’t until sunset that I returned to the castle. After reading until my eyes hurt I climbed into bed. I thought of my parents, how Cillian and I had grown up basking in their adoration of each other.
That’s what I deserve. Not a one-night stand runaway.
/What is that!/ Priya exclaimed, her senses on high alert. The sound of heavy boots on carpet. Undeniable.
Approaching, definitely coming nearer as my ears desperately analysed the thudding sounds. I sat up in the dark room, the only light from the dying fireplace. My flimsy, short white nightgown could not hide the goosebumps on my skin.
As the footsteps silenced, I realised I was holding my breath. Pathetic, I grumble inwardly to Priya. We hear one servant walking and I’m up like a rabbit in headlights.
I hate feeling like this.
I’m locking the door. Considering my parents were murdered by someone sneaking into their room and injecting them with wolfsbane it should be locked anyway. It’s only my stupid, pointless hope that Nikolai will return that’s making me leave myself unsafe.
I pad softly across the room in my bare feet. Suddenly the handle turns, and I freeze. The wooden door slowly opens, and a shadowy, dark form enters. Tousled obsidian hair down to a sharp jawline, body twice the size of mine draped in a black cloak steps inside.
I’m frozen on a rug in the centre of the room. Pretty certain my mouth is hanging open too. The conversations and accusations I’d enacted in my head melt away like sand through an hourglass. Only one word remained.
Mate.
Nikolai said nothing, merely stepped inside. But his eyes, ruby flecks dancing in the darkness, looked devastatingly hungry.
The soft click of the door clicking shut is the only sound for several seconds. When a second clunk rings out, I realise he has locked it too. That simple fact makes my pulse rocket up another notch. /He’s staying/ Priya murmurs excitedly. My eyes drink him in, as he unclasps his black cloak and casually throws it onto the dark blue sofa. He’s wearing thick black leather riding boots, tight around his huge calves. Black pants wrapping his solid thighs before skimming inwards to his toned waist. The waist that I knew contained a perfect, sculpted torso. The memory of me licking in and out of the dips and rises last time we were in a room together bounced into my vision like a camera flash. Every step of his boots clumped heavily on the wooden floor as he headed towards me.“So…you’re back then?”“For now.” His voice was deep and gravelly, all the authority of an Alpha. Priya was pushing to the forefront, I knew my green eyes would have pink flecks in, unable to hide the fact I was ab
I felt him smile against my shoulder, the grizzle of his chin like electric static. /His wolf likes us enjoying this. He wants to please us/ Priya purred in delirium. He kept his hand in place, but I got a much rougher nip, making me jump in surprise. As I flinched, he pinched my clit between his finger and thumb. My legs went weak.Suddenly I was rocketing out of my own mind. His thick fingers were twisting, turning inside me whilst my clit and nipples were pinched and teased into submission. All my weight was now resting on him. My free arm wrapped around his neck, my fingers buried in his hair. My other hand remained planted against his, shadowing the rough thrusts of his thick digits inside my soaked pussy.“Nikolai, Nikolai,” I gasped as I felt myself slipping over the edge and everything spasmed. His fingers were clamped inside me as I unravelled under his touch.Holding on I kept his hand pressed inside me. I didn’t care what he thought, what anyone would think of me. All I k
It was meant to be an in and out job. Scratch the itch and get the hell out. Stomping back to my bike I am dazzled by the dawn rays. I feel like ripping something apart, getting up some speed on the bike will have to do.Every one of my senses had been burning to feel her touch. Each day apart, increasing the agonising pull. Almost without realising my route headed further from the northern territories, inexorably back to the castle of Silver City.I know what you're doing, I scolded my wolf as I pulled up the loud, powerful bike. Leaving away from the square castle courtyard of prying eyes and servants I looked up at my home and sighed.I knew what room she was in without trying, treading softly under the cover of darkness. My wolf followed her scent so damn easily. As though she had laid out a teasing trail of string for me to follow through the maze of stone corridors. Surely every shifter for miles could pick up on her honeyed scent?/It is just for us Niko. You already know she
Every day I remain in White Forest I laugh at myself. What the hell am I doing?Two weeks, two whole weeks have passed since Nikolai came to my room. There is no sex so good that it is worth the humiliation of being abandoned.It was so good though. My toes curled just thinking about how he prowled around commanding me.It was like peering behind the curtain of a show. I had seen behind the pleasant platitudes and witnessed the raw passion that can come of such a connection. Priya and Nikolai’s wolf were swirling, heady messes of adoration.I know I love Nikolai. He would probably vanish like a ghost if I told him such a thing. But I do.Every line and shape comprising his face is etched into my memory. I know I can make him smile, maybe even make him laugh and it kills me to not have any chance to build on the small moments of connection he has dangled before me.So now it is a compromise of my dignity. I crave him yet I must pretend to accept his baseless claim that his feelings are
The figure turned around and was unmistakably Luna Helena recognising her huge brunette curls. At the ball she had been sleek and polished. Chocolate ringlets crowning a silken gown, draped in jewels and poise. In her ragged nightgown and grey hollowed eyes sockets she appeared almost monstrous.Except there was no anger in her presence, it was all sadness. Every expression and step her weary body took was exhausted sadness.“Cherish?”She tottered towards me, mistaking me for my poor mother. We both had long blonde hair, I suppose in the night it was an easy mistake to make even if my eyes were green, not blue like hers and Cillian. “No, Luna Helena I am Genevieve, Luna Cherish’s daughter.”“Of course, of course,” looking up and down the walls.“Have you seen anything? Any clues? Nobody will tell me anything, but someone must know!”Unable to stop her she wandered into my open room, looking around like an inquisitive dog. “Luna Helena, you cannot blame yourself for what happened to m
Freya sprinted into my room waking me up with a delirious squeal. “You healed my mother!”“I swear I didn’t, we just talked!” I groaned into the pillow, wincing as Freya clambered onto the bed like a cat.“What about, what did you say, do you think she will be well enough for the ceremony now?”Of course. The number one priority in Freya’s world. Her mouth was racing away. "I wonder when she'll be fit enough to visit the ceremony site, I hope she likes what I chose-"“I really don’t know, get off my you lump,” and she shuffled down to the far end of the mattress, her huge smile disarming my initial grouchy reaction to being woken up by bodily impact. “I found her crying and we had a talk-""She was crying?" Freya's eyes widening. I lifted my legs up, wrapping my arms around and resting my chin. My blonde hair fell about my shoulders as I yawned into life. "She was but when we spoke she calmed down. She thought I was my mother.""Oh she thought you were Luna Cherish!""Only for a second
I only lasted a week. A single week and I’m back here like a fool. I was fine until this morning, then my mark was going crazy. Burning and tingling at my skin so sharply I had to pull up on the bike before I steered into a rabbit hole. Stood under the morning sun in the middle of a dry, arid cornfield I was completely alone yet It felt as though she was right there. I even shivered, closing my eyes, allowing myself to imagine the sensation was her running her hand over it, sending pulses of lust through every nerve ending.How am I meant to follow up leads and investigate with shit going on? I’m having the wolfsbane vial secretly analysed by a master craftsman I trust. A bag of gold and a threat to take his throat if he loses it should keep it safe. Something about that silvery tube just feels off. When I roll it in my hands, the feel of the metal seam, it’s too unusual. There has got to be a link to the culprits through this item.At the same time, I’ve been trailing Cillian, ret
I do the best thing I can do after that strangeness. I head down to the training bleachers and sign myself up for some physical punishment. Round after round of sparring with the other trainees. Thanks to me I have them all on this double-strength workout routine. Our guards failed their purpose in allowing that vial of wolfsbane within fifty miles of the castle. So not only are they being re-educated in physical fitness but I have requested experts in security, espionage and tracking get these dregs whipped into shape.Annoyingly we have had to pay for these experts to come in from Rising Star, Phillipe’s parents pack. The Beta’s patrol every night now, I hire local villagers to try and sneak in, capture-the-flag style. The fact that not one of them has approached me when I arrive disguised on a roaring motorcycle is a source of absolute fury.So the beefy Beta’s attempt to land sneaky rabbit punches, whip my legs away with low kicks and hit below the belt. The disdain my own pack