Chapter 37

I don't have difficulty to move at the restaurant since Mister Rusco isn't around. I feel like I can't even face him. I think I should never think about him either. It feels like I'm banning myself from doing that. It's better though. My mind needs to be free from guilt. Even though that's impossible, I have to work hard to achieve that. I guess. Even if it means wearing out my mentality. My thoroughly confused and disordered mind. Funny.

As I leave work, my heart constantly hurts. I want to see Ryle so, so badly. I want to be in his arms. I want his touch against my skin. I want his loving presence. But, unfortunately, I don't need that all right now. I have to prioritize needs over wants. And what I need right now is to avoid him. In any way whatever. Even if that means hurting him, I'll do it. He needs to be away from right now. I'm going to cause him harm. I'm sure about that.

I'm about to tap on my phone when I see Kent waving at me from across the street, by