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25. THESE FEELINGS
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A TWENTY SOMETHING 26. STAY WITH ME
HANA I am blaming it on the alcohol. Period. I was so sure I would stumble to my home alone after my mother's call. I would weep myself to sleep, feeling the walls closing upon me while trying to hold myself. But then, Bash happened, taking me into his embrace and putting up with my mood swings without a complaint, while simultaneously having his way. A part of me wants to give up on the control and let him handle me like he wanted to do and trying to do. But a part of me is warning against it. Either way, I am here kneeling between his legs and taking him deep. There is something so seductive about watching him lose control. His hands are in my hair, holding me tight, and his eyes closed in pure ecstasy while I suck him deep..deeper...and deeper. "Hana," A moan erupted from the back of his throat, making me clench my pussy. I was choking, and gurgling while he took control, fucking my mouth. Oddly, I didn't feel pressured like I used to with other men and went a
A TWENTY SOMETHING 27. WE BELONG TO BASH
HANA A FEW YEARS AGO. "Mom always scolds me," I mumbled, lowering my head. "She did?" Leo asked me, and I nodded my head. He kneeled before me, "Let me teach her a lesson then." "Jenna." He called. "Stop making my Hana sad." He yelled at her. "Great, now you are taking her side? She broke the antique set I bought in the exhibition." "She just wanted to see it. She is just a child. Go easy on her." Mom glared at me and hid behind my uncle. "Don't spoil her." She warned him. He lifted me in his arms and smiled at me. "She is my princess. I will spoil her as much as I want." He kissed me on my cheek, and I smiled at him, feeling glad that someone had my back. "Fine, let her stay with you tonight. No one is home, and I am really busy. It's hard to keep an eye on her. She roams a lot and is really nosy." "Of course, I will take my princess home. Let's make some pancakes." He tells me. I grinned widely. "Micheal will be there?" I ask
A TWENTY SOMETHING 28. THE ACCIDENT
BASH The officer who sat before me was merely in his late twenties. He looked timid and sweat formed on his forehead. I haven't even started yet. "Adın ne? (What is your name?)" I asked him. "Baris," He replied. "Mr. Merrick," His superior interrupted me. I raised my hand to stop. "Do you understand English?" I asked Baris. He nodded his head. I nod my head, rolling my sleeves up to my elbow. "Do you have children?" I asked him. He trembled a little. "Please," He begged. I leaned closer, "Do I look like a person who could harm your kids, Baris?" He nodded his head. I raised my brow, and he shook his head immediately. "Let's say your daughter has been in a fire accident. Her wounds are still raw, and I went to her and talked about nothing but the burns. How you would react?" "I didn't get it." He answered, his face as pale as snow. "Of course, you don't. You wouldn't. I asked you a hyp
A TWENTY SOMETHING 29. CUPCAKE
BASH(11 YEARS OLD) It happened so suddenly. One second, I was playing football with Luke, and the next second, I was chasing a faceless guy. It always happened to me. There are people and places I remember meeting but I never saw them in my life. I thought I had seen someone from my dreams. So, I followed him out of curiosity. I told my mom many times that I remembered the guns and the smell of cigars. But she said, I had never seen a gun in my real life, and insisted it was just my dream. I tried to draw them. But they became ugly scribbles. Turns out I don't have the skill to draw, and I didn't bother trying because my life was perfect. I didn't need to dwell on some random dreams until I saw a guy with a moustache that day. I followed him. But I lost in the middle of nowhere, and I was left alone without a phone or guard. Something about getting lost felt like a deja vu, as if I already experienced that. Suddenly, a truck came at me, and I was so sure that I was goi
A TWENTY SOMETHING 30. I DON'T LOVE HIM
HANA | THEN I saw Leo's car pulling up into our driveway, and that's when I first had my panic attack. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't focus on anything as my heartbeat quickened, my body trembled, and moved to the corner of my room. I heard him shout and ten minutes later, my mom stomped into my room. "Did you tell what happened to Micheal?" She asked me. Micheal did come yesterday to meet me. I remember how I flinched when he tried to touch my face. But he had been kindest to me ever since that incident. My mom sighed, sitting beside me. "It's okay. This will pass. We promised each other that we wouldn't tell what happened to anyone, right? It's for your own good." She tells me. "Never speak about this to anyone. Don't talk to Micheal." I believed her. I believed when she said she was doing everything for my good. I don't know how he made it happen, but Michael convinced my family to make me study abroad. I hated him for that. "It's for yo
A TWENTY SOMETHING 31. I AM YOURS TOO
HANA Michael suggested a hundred things we could do together, like the mall which I don’t find attractive at all, or the restaurant where I don’t want to spend more money or the church where the god whom I don’t believe exists. I wanted to spend more time with him, but given the circumstances, it felt highly inappropriate. He is here to deal with his father’s death. I do not want to stop him for me. All my thoughts started to drift back to Bash. He will be gone for five days. “Are you alright?” Michael asked me, he held my hand as we walked to my apartment. I nod my head. “You still feel like a little girl who used to hold my hand for every party because she was afraid, she would get lost in the crowd.” I smiled. “I have grown up now. But I am still lost. I have been lost for a while now.” “It’s okay. We all take time to find ourselves.” He hugged me one last time, gave me his card and shared all the social media IDs before he le
A TWENTY SOMETHING 32. DEAR XAVIER
HANA I walked into Bash's study room to find him standing at the window, with a leather-bound book in his hand, a sad smile on his lips, a glint in his eyes and his knuckles white as though he was holding with everything he got. "Hey," I whispered to let him know that I was there. He turned his head, his expression immediately changed and his eyes brightened. That made me smile. The earnest happiness when he sees me is everything I never knew I needed. "Come in," He says, nodding his head to his side. He kept the book beside the monitor on his table. I have seen him hold it before but cannot remember where or when. "You good?" He asks me, kissing me on my forehead. I nod my head, fixing his tie. "When will you come back?" If he was not watching me, then I would have pouted. Honestly, to not feel him against me or see him smile at me for the next five days feels scary. Oh, no. I am falling hard for him. "I will try to be here
A TWENTY SOMETHING 33. SURPRISE
HANA There are so many things I concluded after reading Rose's letter. 1- Bash is not Xavier's biological father. 2- His biological father is a monster. 3- There was someone named Cillian and Sebastian who helped Rose escape from wherever she was. Perhaps they named these two cousins after them. 4- Xavier is a wonderful human being. 5- His wife killed herself. Now I wondered what Bash thought of me every time he looked at me. Does he see his mother? Because I made that decision before to end my life. But I will worry about that later. I need to see Bash now. The first thing I did was to book a flight for the next day. I slept at Bash's home that night and he was so happy I did that. I counted every second until it was morning. I looked at the mirror and practised smiling. It's nothing new to me. I had to put up an act if I had to get to Bash. Then I called Shalini. "I need a dress," I tell her. "What's the occasion?" She asked me. "It's surpr
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