54. DENIAL

HANA

It really feels like a goodbye now. I am in denial. I am still looking towards the airport terminal gate as though he would magically appear from it if I look hard enough and say that this is all a joke. I waited for seven hours here, and when the final announcement for the departure of my flight was given, I knew, it was over. I don't want to believe it. But it's over.

I didn't remember how I reached Istanbul or in what state I was. I slept through an entire day. When I woke up, I packed everything that reminded me of Bash, the dresses I wore on our dates, his shirt which had been my nightwear for three weeks before I took the dumbest decision of my life, the backpack I took to New York, the cups he bought, the shoes he gifted and the bedsheets, pillow covers, skincare products I applied on his face, everything I packed and hid it in a cupboard except for my body. It's the biggest reminder of him. I don't know how to get out of this body.

Then I started dee