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7. I HAVE TO KNOW YOU
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A TWENTY SOMETHING 8. DON'T START SMILING
BASH My secretary stared at me as if she was seeing a ghost. "What?" I questioned her. "It is a simple question." "Sorry. Can you repeat it?" She asked me again. Impatience started to make its way inside me. Why no one in the world don't understand that I don't have enough time? I repeated my question to her. "On a scale of one to ten, how likely is a twenty-three-year-old woman like a nineteen-year-old boy who is shorter than her?" This time, I told her slowly so that she would not ask me to repeat it. "How does the boy look?" She asked me. I thought of Matteo. He looked like a kid to me. But his skin is flawless. "He has a glass skin," I tell her. She nodded her head, writing in her notepad. She writes everything in her notepad. "Is he muscular?" She asked. "He is thin." "What about the hair?" "Golden," I tell her, already getting annoyed by her questions. "Does he have ba
A TWENTY SOMETHING 9. SOMETHING I CAN'T CONTROL
HANA “Eco Central Mall,” Mateo shouted, jumping like a kid. Shalini gave me her best puppy eyes which never worked on me before and never will. She added her pout to that. “Okay,” I agreed. “I will go.” They both hugged me at the same time. It’s Sunday evening for goddamn sake. Why would anyone want to go to a crowded place? Everyone does that for some unknown reason. Shalini and Mateo are so familiar with the Mall that they know every inch of it. I am sure I will get lost here even if I come here ten times. I observed all the people, some of them were enjoying their weekends or some were really shopping, and some were probably wasting money, I do not know. People in malls make me feel insecure. I started looking at my clothes and shoes. If I had been with my parents, I would not have worried about that. Now that I am barely saving any money, I spend less on my clothes. I never want to mingle in them anyway. I always avoided these thing
A TWENTY SOMETHING 10. THE KISS
Bash I thought, knowing about the girl you like through her own words is decency and intimate. I had to change it now. I will have to hire a detective. Hana is far more complex than I imagined. I think she is still figuring out what she is. But her need to regard every man who showed a little kindness to be bad is beyond me. The world is black and white for her and I highly believe there is no white. She will not accept me if I say I'm simply helping her. She will not trust if a passenger is only trying to get her attention without posing any harm to her. She thinks like how I used to think before. If a person is good, then they are not really good. They have other intentions. "We should get drunk." Mateo who just found us in the middle of a street, suggested. "I really need a drink." Shalini agreed. But Hana shook her head. "I am not drinking. I have to go home." "I will drive you, home." I offered. Actually, I declared. "And wh
A TWENTY SOMETHING 11. THE NIGHT AT THE COTTAGE
HANA I spent three years in a boarding school until I was sixteen. I used to look at my phone waiting for a call from my phone. Whenever I got a call, it was to inform me about an important event I needed to attend or it was to mention the name of the guard who was going to pick me up. I have two options. One is to become lonely and a depressed girl or to give zero fucks. My teenage was like that. Everything is at its extremes. But it's hard no matter how much I tried. My nightmares scared my roommates. Officially, I was the girl who was possessed. I was sixteen when my mom finally decided that I should go back to Seattle. I never liked my school. I was alone there, fighting my demons. That was the period when I hated every person in the world. I felt like the world owed me an apology for causing me this much pain when in reality it was the man who touched me and my parents who failed to trust me and take action. I didn't know at that time you were the only person who was there
A TWENTY SOMETHING 12. STOOD UP
HANA Shalini was staring at her phone for an hour now. Sometimes, she was angry, sometimes she was sad, and sometimes, she looked frustrated. "You alright?" I asked her, turning my chair towards her. She shook her head. "I texted him yesterday night. He hasn't replied yet." "Your boyfriend?" She nods her head. "He might be busy," I told her. I am not good at these things. I didn't have much experience when it came to relationships. I dated one guy in college, and it lasted for two months until he decided that I was not good for him. So the least I could do was listen to her. "It takes one minute to text, Hana. He is always on his phone. We don't even have much time difference. It's not even midnight in India. I don't know where it went wrong. Do you think it is because of the long distance?" She asked me. "Honestly, I can't say anything about that," I tell her. "It's not the first time he did it, Hana. Even when we were in India, his replies always came late. He is not cheatin
A TWENTY SOMETHING 13. YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME
HANA I woke up to the pounding sensation in my head. The glare of the early sun swooped through my windows. I wished all the light in the world to be disappeared. Maybe my headache will go away. I don't know when the exhaustion of the night weighed me down, and I fell into a slumber. Apparently, it wasn't enough. But I had to drag myself to work even if I had to meet a certain someone who stood me up yesterday and a furious father who could kill me the moment his eyes landed on me. I looked at my phone. The light of it felt like a thousand needles prickling through my eyes. But I did it anyway. My call logs are flooded with missed calls from unknown numbers, and none of them is from Bash. It's my wishful thinking that he called me from another number. But I shouldn't care even if he didn't. He and I are nothing. The calls might have come from my other fraud loan apps or worse, from my mother. I expected my parents outside my apartment. They didn't show up, not y
A TWENTY SOMETHING 14. THE KNIFE
HANA I sighed as he grabbed my arm to take me to his house. "Not now, Bash." I pleaded. "I am too tired." "Do you think I am joking around?" He growled. "No, Hana. You are staying at my home tonight." "I want to be alone." I protested. "Then stay alone at my house. ALONE. Because I will be leaving to kick your father's ass." I saw him joke around many times. But today he promised me in all his earnestness that he is going to pay my father back for what he did. "Why do you care?" I asked him, liberating my hand from his grip. God, it hurts to talk with a bruised cheek. He turned towards me, and his hands raised to cup my face before he realised I had a bruised cheek. He reluctantly withdrew one of his hands, while the other caressed my normal cheek with tenderness I didn't know he possessed. "Please," He urged with a desperate tone. "Come with me." I shook my head stepping back from him. Our proximity felt good. He is warm. Bu
A TWENTY SOMETHING 15. HIM
HANA "Stop biting your nails. Your nails are chipped," My mom warned Violet. "Stop trying to control my every life moment," Violet yelled back at her. My mom stomped towards her and held her hand out. "Look at this. The maid's daughter looked better than you. I will send Alice. Get your nails done. Make yourself presentable at the wedding." "It's not my wedding." Violet tried to argue. "You are a Levine. You should look like a Levine, not like a beggar." My mom threw a glance at me. She hasn't said a word since I returned. Somehow, I got the impression that I made her uncomfortable. Maybe if I were a normal person, I would get uncomfortable too when a person next to me doesn't react and simply stares into the air, thinking what it would be like if the world ended. "Why am I the only one receiving orders? What about her?" Violet's chipped-nailed finger pointed at me. My mom shook her head in disbelief and walked out of the room assigne
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