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Confusion
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A Troubled Mind When History Repeats
"Cara, honey, time to wake up! Come on, Cara wake up!" Cara's mother called out to her. For half a second Cara considered pretending she hadn't heard her mom. She knew it was early because she was still so tired. As she laid there holding her eyes closed and pretending to still be asleep she suddenly remembered the happenings of the day before. Her eyes flew open wide as she sat up and looked around. She was back in her room! She was in her own bed and again there was no sign of her mother. Cara didn't understand. How had she ended up in her own bed? She clearly remembered falling asleep at Kaylee's house. Slowly she pulled the covers from on top of her and saw that she was once again wearing her oversized t-shirt. She looked around her room trying to make it all make sense. Had she had a nightmare? A nightmare made more sense than what she had experienced had been real. Cautiously, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and allowed them to hang over her plush fusia colored rug
A Troubled Mind The Hospital
Cara approached the entrance to the hospital cautiously. She was unsure of what to expect. But also excited that this was at least something new. She half heartedly pondered exactly how she had ended up on the opposite side of town. Nothing about what she had been experiencing made any sense whatsoever to her. She was afraid to get her hopes up, but she was silently hoping that someone would be inside the hospital. Cara's heart sank as she stepped into the main lobby. One look around the atrium and beyond and it was obvious that there wasn't another soul around. She continued to walk through the large area. In the middle there was a fountain surrounded by greenery. The hospital was six stories high. Here in the atrium vines and other plants ran all the way up to the top floor with a huge sky light above the fountain. Every floor had a railing which allowed the atrium to be viewed no matter what floor you were on. All around the atrium there were small waiting areas scattered here
A Troubled Mind Not Alone
Making sure to maintain contact with the wall helped to keep Cara feeling grounded. She needed that tactile contact to keep her fear at bay as she navigated the darkness within the hallway. The steady sound of the beep drew her forward. It was steady and constant. Cara focused on the noise like her life depended upon the repetitive, unending noise. She slowly walked forward into the unknown sliding her hand along the wall slightly ahead of her. Ever so many feet she could feel the outline of papers or informational signs or door frames and doors. Once her hand ran across a key pad lock and she startled at the resounding noises made when she pushed the wrong buttons. After what felt like an impossibly long time her hand felt the corner of the wall. She believed she was now at the end of the hall and that this must be where another hallway began. Keeping her right hand on the corner she held up her left hand in front of her as she slowly attempted to turn down what she believed was an
A Troubled Mind Autumn
Cara felt a sharp pain in the back of her neck, causing her to reach up and rub it as she opened her eyes. She began blinking repeatedly to bring everything around her back into focus. Looking around her she realized that it was a nice sunny afternoon and that she was sitting in her mother's rocking chair on her own front porch. Having nodded off, her head had been hanging in an odd way for too long causing the sharp pain. She slowly picked her head up and returned it to a more natural position. She had to move slowly because it was so stiff. Above her birds were chirping in the trees and a cool fall breeze was blowing gently through her hair. Cara loved evenings such as this. Autumn was her favorite time of year. Not just because of her birthday, either. There were so many other reasons. This time of year was still warm enough for so many different outdoor activities, but not as hot as summer. She loved pumpkin patches and craved everything pumpkin spice! Hay rides and fest
A Troubled Mind Time to Think
Cara, felt so disoriented. She tried to close her eyes to shut out the white light. But it was as if her eyes were stuck wide open. When she tried to cover her eyes with her hands that didn't work either. At first she thought she might be tied down. But when she attempted to move her arms she didn't feel any resistance. She tried to move her legs, but it was the same as when she tried to move her hands. There was no feeling of resistance. As best as she could tell she wasn't bound up or anything. Instead it was almost as if she just didn't have arms or legs to move. She thought it was very strange that this thought didn't fill her with panic. Instead, she really didn't seem to care very much at all. She didn't know what it all meant. Maybe she was really dead. The thought of being dead didn't make her feel afraid, or sad, or even angry at having her young life cut short. Maybe a little annoyed, but again that was mostly because she didn't know how to navigate this place. So, because
A Troubled Mind Another Off Day
Cara's eye lids felt so heavy. She wanted to open them, but was unable to do so. She tried to sit up, but couldn't. As she laid there trying to figure out her current situation she heard the sound of a door opening and closing somewhere near her. That was followed by the sound of sneakers on linoleum. She struggled to open her eyes again. But again she failed to do so. "Hey, I see you sis", a familiar male voice said from somewhere in front of her. She was trying to place where she knew his voice from when he spoke up again. "Mom. Hey, mom. Mom, wake up. She's doing it again." Cara scrunched her brows at his words. Who was doing what? Who was that guy? "Hey! She just... she just did it again! Mom! Look!" The familiar guy's voice called out again, more excited this time. Cara heard a chair slide across a floor and the noise was then followed by the sounds of footsteps approaching her. Once more she struggled to open her eyes. Once more it was impossible to do. "Cara. Cara, honey,
A Troubled Mind Calm Down
"What? Tara? You're Tara? But how... how are you Tara? I saw you.You had the mask, the uniform...Your hair was BLACK! How are you Tara? Who even is Tara? Who are you?" Cara rambled on and on, unable to calm down. This was crazy. What was going on? Cara was so upset and confused. She started hyperventilating and began to feel light headed like she might faint. "Where am I? Why am I here? Where's my mom? I want my mom!" She screamed out at the now red headed young woman in front of her. She began trembling violently. And had to fall back into the chair to keep from falling off the edge of it into the floor. Tara, knelt down in front of her and placed her hands on Cara's arms before she looked up with a deep concern evident on her face. "Cara, sweety, You Have Got to Calm Down! I can help you understand. But only if you Calm Down. Please, Cara, this is so important. Everything is riding on you and your ability to chill out!You can make this all stop. But you have to calm down and stop ru
A Troubled Mind No Hope
"I know it is a sensitive subject, Mrs. Magdalen. But we really should revisit the matter of a DNR. There has been no improvement in her condition. She has continued to decline. There is nothing that leads me to believe that she will ever regain consciousness. Every time we revive her, she continues to decline. I fear that we are doing far more damage than good.. I know this is very hard on you and your family. But we need to think about what is best for her. Please, ma'am, I ask you to discuss this as a family again." Cara heard a man's voice. She did not recognize his voice. After the man finished talking there were the sounds of muffled sobs. Someone was heart broken over what the man had just said. Cara's heart went out to them. She laid there with her eyes closed, awake but not ready to face the day. As she laid there thinking about what she had heard and wondering who the "she" was that they had been discussing and what might have happened to her. She felt someone touch her arm
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