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CHAPTER 36
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A vow of hate CHAPTER 37
CHRISTIANWhispers… I could hear whispers as I woke, drowsy and warm—almost too warm. I was surrounded by heat and something that smelled enticingly good. My pillow tickled my face and I twitched my nose, trying to ease the itch, burrowing deeper into the welcome softness. My pillow giggled a little, and the whispers started again. I forced open my eyes. The light was dull, the skies looked heavy and dull, like it was going to rain. I lifted my head and met the amused gaze of Mia, who was sitting on the floor beside the bed, coffee cup in hand, and Valerie, who was giggling beside her with hair standing in every direction and a sippy cup filled with milk in her hands.“Daddy’s up!” Valerie exclaimed as she saw my open eyes. Then in a lower voice, “Haze still sleep sleep.”“Good morning,” Mia said with a smirk.“Were you that scared that you had to hide in here?” I asked with a small frown.“I came to get Hazel, but she’s still asleep and she wouldn’t be able to escape your clutches an
A vow of hate CHAPTER 38
CHRISTIANMia didn’t go home that day. She actually ended up spending the entire weekend with us. It was fine, because I'd rather have her with me till I was completely certain that everything was back in order at her place. But at the same time, it was hell having to continue sleeping in the same bed with Hazel. After what had happened that first night, we pretty much ignored each other when we were alone in the room. She found it hard to fall asleep, and I spent much longer hours in my office, only coming back into the room to sleep when I was sure that she was already asleep. And by some stroke of luck, Valerie hadn’t slipped up and said anything about us having separate rooms before now, so that was good. Mia would be going home tonight, and everything would go back to normal. But before that, we decided to go visit Hazel’s mom at the hospital. The weather was gloomy and a storm simmered just outside, low and tame. And I figured she would appreciate the company. I insisted on che
A vow of hate CHAPTER 39
HAZEL When mom first asked if I was really married, I thought it was a joke, so I still felt light and airy. She looked happy, healthy and better. She looked like she had actually been getting enough sleep recently, and I was happy about that. But things went south very fast. I quickly realized that she wasn’t joking or pretending about it, and I had to go with the flow so as to not confuse her, all while being so confused myself. I hadn’t expected Christian to be so understanding either, but he had handled the situation very well considering how abrupt it all was. He had handled it too well actually, because some of the answers he gave in response to my mother’s questions made me look at him in a different light. And if I didn’t know better, if I didn't know that it was all a lie, I might've believed them myself. He notified the doctors after that, while I sat next to my mom and held her hand, desperately trying not to break down into tears. We were told that the test results would
A vow of hate CHAPTER 40
It had been a few days since my mom’s troubling diagnosis, and over the course of those few days, the hospital had become my second home. She seemed better, she wasn’t hysterical or anything, and she even asked about Christian and Valerie every now and then, but I still couldn’t get myself to calm down and relax. I hovered over her at every second, and I was pretty sure she was tired of me breathing down her neck– a feeling that she made clear and communicated effectively when she quite literally kicked me out her room this afternoon. I walked back to my car with a gloomy cloud hanging over my head. She seemed fine, she seemed to remember that I was married now, but it was hard to shake off the fear that I was feeling.I walked into my favorite part of the house– the conservatory– where Tina had told me that I could find Valerie and Christian, and froze in surprise at the sight that met my eyes. Warm sunshine shone on Christian from the glass as he sat quietly while Valerie bustled ar
A vow of hate CHAPTER 41
The shrill sound of my phone ringing filled my ears as I reached the top of the stairs. I sighed, silently cursing as I fished for it in my purse, which only resulted in everything falling out of my hands and clattering to the floor. I watched with tears in my eyes as the contents of my phone rolled all the way to the bottom of the stairs.“Could this day get any fucking worse?” I silently swore, still very conscious of the fact that Valerie was in the house and she could hear me if I said that out loud. I angrily swiped at my eyes as I went back down the stairs, picking up lip glosses and cards and a ten dollar bill as I went. My phone was still going bat shit crazy, and I wondered who it was that was calling with so much urgency. It was my best friend, Olivia.“Olivia?”“Where have you been? I’ve been calling.” she said, her voice a mixture of concern and annoyance.“I was walking up the stairs… my phone fell, and I…are you okay?” I asked, deciding to leave out the insignificant det
A vow of hate CHAPTER 42
Christian was gone when I woke up. I cautiously opened my eyes to a sunlit bedroom. There was no sign of Christian and if I didn't have a vivid memory of the previous night, I could have argued that he hadn’t even been in my room at all. Everything was back in order– like last night hadn’t happened at all. There was a crack in the curtain that allowed the sunlight to stream in, and a quick glance at my phone screen confirmed that I had slept way past noon. It was already midday. I sat up shakily, feeling refreshed, yet strangely hollow. I felt like somebody who had just had a long and desperately needed sleep after the death of a loved one, only to wake up to the discovery that even though life would go on, it would be forever marred by the tragedy of loss. I could not remember the last time I had slept so soundly, probably years ago, before my mother got diagnosed with cancer; I certainly have not had any peace of mind since then. I groaned as I started recalling the events of the p
A vow of hate CHAPTER 43
“Where are we going?” I asked for what must have been the thousandth time that evening, much to Christian’s annoyance.His eyes flared with rage as he turned to look at me from his seat in the car. “You’ve asked a thousand times since we left the house, and for the thousandth time, Hazel, you’ll know when we get there.”I frowned at him, almost tempted to stick out my tongue at him in the same way that Valerie did when she wasn’t getting what she wanted. I looked down at my attire, black sweatpants with a pale pink hoodie, and white sneakers. I had walked down the stairs earlier with a full face of makeup and a dinner dress on, only to meet Christian’s unamused glare at the bottom of the stairs. He had taken one look at me, and cocked an eyebrow. “What is this?”“What is what?” I had asked in confusion.“Take it off,” he simply ordered.“Why?” I had asked, still confused.He had ignored my question, choosing instead to take my arm and pull me back up the stairs and into my closet, whe
A vow of hate CHAPTER 44
Emotions are a weird concept. You never truly know which one is next or hard it’s going to hit you. Because here I was, watching my husband and my ex boyfriend exchange pleasantries, and my chest felt like it had been split open with an ax. Mark caught my eye as we reached our bowling pit and he gave a sick wink that made me want to throw up my insides. I swallowed down the acrid taste of bile in my throat, while still trying to keep a blank face. I couldn’t let Christian suspect a thing. “Your wife is very beautiful. You’re a lucky man.” Mark said, slapping Christian playfully on the back like they had been friends for years.Christian gave me a look that I didn’t bother to try and decipher, before he looked back at Mark and gave a polite nod. “I am, aren’t I?”We put our names in the system and the game started. Mark was going first. I watched him stick his fingers in a green ball, taking his sweet time and doing everything in such a calculated manner. I knew he was taunting me. An
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