CHAPTER 90— The Changes

Nishane's Point of View

THREE MONTHS LATER, I won't pretend to be alright or that my pain from losing my daughter has subsided. But I can say that I'm making progress in my life in some way. Despite my difficulties, I managed to survive. I merely do stuff to keep me occupied, prevent me from reflecting, and prevent me from feeling down. I tried my best to focus on other things.

I felt bad for myself as I reflected on my prior actions. Clifford, fortunately, was able to help me. I wouldn't have recovered if I hadn't accepted his offer to have me treated by specialists. I assumed that since I miss my daughter, seeing her would be normal for me. I assumed that it was typical for me to miss her so much that all I wanted to do was stay in her room. I was unaware that it was a symptom of extreme melancholy, anxiety, and depression.

Until now, I still struggle to accept the death of my first child. And due of the trauma of what happened, I'm not sure if I'll be able to have children. I'