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All My Fault
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All Grown Up Ghosts
JesseI felt most terrible when I thought about the fact that she didn’t want to even try to figure out how to make things work with me. It made me think about what Annabelle had said about her using me. She had said that to Audrey, and Audrey had mentioned it to me. Now, I wondered if that had been the truth, if Audrey had been lying to me all along.I sat down at the kitchen table and took a bite of the dinner that we were supposed to share. I nearly choked on the first bite, the food like ashes in my mouth. I pushed my plate away and put my head in my hands. The house hadn’t felt this empty since right after Dad passed away.I had the sudden urge to head into town, just to be around other people. But where would I go? Gabby’s? I couldn’t do that. Annabelle worked there, and Audrey might be in there. Besides, even if neither of them were there, I would be stuck thinking about the last time that I had been there with Audrey. About the first time that I had been there with Audrey.I w
All Grown Up Back in Paris
AudreyI took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then another. I peeked out past the curtains. There was no one out there in the audience yet, but there would be soon. Just a couple more days and it would be time to go for real.The lighting guys ran a few final tests, and then we waited for the call. It was almost time to step out for the opening routine in the show. I was the first one on stage, and the last as well. What I did here would set the tone for the whole performance. I felt a little shiver run up my spine at the thought of that.The director suddenly appeared there before me. “Audrey, ma belle!” he said enthusiastically, kissing both of my cheeks. The man had never been quite so open and friendly with me before, and that, over the past week, had told me all I needed to know about both my dance and my ability to channel my sadness. That final piece nearly brought tears to my own eyes each time I performed it, and I knew the audience wouldn’t be able to help but be moved.
All Grown Up Some Advice
AudreyWe took our final notes from the director. He didn’t have anything but praise for me. It should have made me thrilled. I was dancing better than I ever could have hoped. Especially given that I’d had an injury that had kept me from dance for weeks. I wished that I could forget about Jesse and just enjoy the now.Then I felt guilty for thinking that. Forget about Jesse? As though he meant nothing to me?I wondered what he was up to right now. I calculated the time difference. It was early in the morning there. He was probably just waking up. Suddenly, I ached to be there with him, beside him in bed. I wanted his hands on my bare skin; I wanted to feel his soft lips pressed tenderly to mine. That was just a memory, though.I opened my eyes, not sure when I’d closed them, but I opened them to a quiet auditorium in France rather than to the sight of Jesse’s bedroom and swaths of naked skin. The other ballerinas were starting to trickle out, talking and laughing as they did so. I no
All Grown Up Gone Girl
JesseIt had been over a week since Audrey went back to Paris, but things still hadn’t gone back to normal. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stop feeling alone. Joe had been coming over nearly every night, just like he used to when Dad had died. He brought beer most times, but I drank most of it by myself. Getting drunk seemed to be the only way I could sleep.Not that I slept all that much. I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs to my bedroom most nights. I’d had Audrey in that bed. I’d planned a life where we woke up together morning after morning. Instead, I was sleeping fitfully down on the couch, and waking up feeling as though I had never slept at all. I knew I probably looked like I was going through hell. It seemed like the whole town was in on it, giving me sympathetic looks.I almost wanted to remind everyone that it was my own damn fault that I felt this miserable. I’d known she’d be leaving. I knew better than to get attached. It wasn’t like she hadn’t disapp
All Grown Up Calling Her
JesseI found myself walking over to the studio that Audrey had rented. She had been gone for over a week now, but no one else had taken over the place. It wasn’t like there was much demand for real estate in the town. Hell, for all I knew, Audrey might still be renting the place.Either way, the door was unlocked, and I headed inside. I grabbed one of the beers that I had stashed there and sat heavily on the couch, running my hand absently across the leather as I thought about Audrey in there. I would give anything to see her dance one more time.In my mind’s eye, I could see her that one night, when we had come here after our date. She had looked so ethereal and beautiful as she spun around barefoot, dancing to music that only she could hear. It was so different from the way that she danced at Gabby’s, but both were equally entrancing. The thing about her dancing here, though, was that it was all for me. There was no one else to see her. No other audience.And that was part of why I
All Grown Up Just Water Weight
AudreyI couldn’t believe it had been two months and we were almost to the end of the summer season. Just a few more times putting on this costume and dancing this routine. I was going to miss it, that was for sure. But on the other hand, I was already looking ahead to the fall season. We still hadn’t received the final casting list, but I had my fingers crossed that I’d have another amazing part. Maybe not lead for the third time in a row, but I knew that the director had been thrilled with my performance this summer.Especially given the time crunch that I’d had in learning the part. I’d basically had a week to pull everything together after flying back from North Carolina, and then it had been a whirlwind of final dress rehearsals and then performances.I was exhausted, but I was exhilarated as well. My first lead roles couldn’t have gone better. My ankle still gave me a little trouble now and then, but the pain was manageable. Thankfully. I had returned from North Carolina in a bi
All Grown Up Hung Up
JesseJoe laughed as I totally missed the ball I was shooting for and sank the cue ball in one of the pockets. I swore loudly, knowing that I had basically just handed him the game. Sure enough, Joe carefully placed the cue ball where he wanted it and managed to sink the eight ball. “Come on, you didn’t actually think you were going to win, did you?” he teased.I rolled my eyes at him and glanced around Gabby’s. The place was crowded on a Saturday night, but I didn’t see anyone else floating around like they were waiting to take over our pool table. I started racking the balls. “Let’s go again,” I told Joe, even though I was sure that I would just lose again. I could count on one hand the number of times that I had beat him at pool, and we must have played thousands of games over the years.Joe clapped me on the shoulder. “Sure thing,” he said. “You might get us a couple of beers first, though. Loser pays.”I snorted but grabbed our glasses, heading up to the bar. Annabelle was workin
All Grown Up Like Crazy
JesseI shrugged. “Of course I am.” Joe knew the whole story. He knew that I had liked Audrey back when we were still in high school, but had held off dating her because we had found out that our parents were dating. He knew all the recent history, too: that once Audrey came back to town, I found myself unable to keep away from her, even though I knew that she was planning on leaving in six months at the most, as soon as her injured ankle healed back up.I had admitted to him that I loved her. He knew all of this. So of course, I was still hung up on her. I missed her. That was just the way that things were.I knew what Joe was about to say before he said it. Whatever chance I might have had with Audrey, I had lost it now. She had gone back to the world that she belonged in, and I had just let her go.Well, not ‘just.’ The truth was, I had been thinking about all the ways that we could make things work between us. The only thing that I could think of was for me to go with her to Paris
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