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095 | STARLIGHT TO STARLIGHT, SOIL TO SOIL

In the darkness, there remained spots – sparkles, glittering sparkles – of light, which shone silver as the stars. I brushed past them, uninterested in their beauty. I had suffered so much. Was this not my right? Was peace not more than I was allowed?

And then I heard a voice. Real or hallucinated, I didn’t know. But the voice drew me close, pulled me into strong arms, arms that smelt like snow and woodsmoke and pine, and I could taste wine on his lips, and the voice inside me grew louder.

‘Don’t give in, beautiful. Don’t give up.’

It was a voice I knew even in death, and I clung to it. It was gravel and honey, sin and sorrow, beauty and pain and good and evil and whimsy and smirks and sardonic and oh, how I loved it.

How I loved him.

The past and the present separated. Memories untangled, leaving behind the raw, rasping sound of my throat as I screamed for help, as water – cold, icy cold water – rushed over my head, rushed down, down, down into my lungs. But that was the past, and I
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