KennedyI have to use my lunch break to make agency calls on behalf of a girl who’s no longer on my books. I take a bite of my sandwich, cursing that I’m spending so much time on hold. I’ve a lot of people to speak with, and not a huge amount of time to do it in.The result: more of the same old shit.They’ll need her to register. They’ll need some form of ID. They’ll need to do an assessment.They’ll be able to do none of those things unless Anna actually agrees to toe the line.I’m exasperated by the time I look up Rosie and Bill’s number at the end of my shift. One last shot, that’s what I tell myself. One last attempt to reason with them and get them on side enough to keep her room open for her until we can get her into these appointments.It’s Rosie who answers. She sighs as she registers it’s me.I launch quickly into my monologue, telling her I know how hard they’ve worked with Anna, how much time they’ve put in, and how difficult this has been on all of them, but if she could
AnnaThe sleeping bag at Margaretha’s stinks of weed like the rest of the place. I know they say it’s nature’s herb and all that, but it’s always smelled like crap to me. It’s only ever made me sick and giggly. I don’t really do giggly, so I’m better off without the shitty stuff.Margaretha says it will chill me fucking out, but I do chilled even less than I do giggly. He stays up late with the TV on loud. The room is full of the stench, and when I hunker down under my grotty covers that’s when I come to realise everything smells of it here.I probably smell like it here.He has a couple of cats that he doesn’t let out. Their litter tray stinks even worse than the weed. Some random ex-girlfriend left them here, he told me once. He hardly feeds them, so I share my ham sandwich with them, loving the way they purr as they settle down under the covers with me.Maybe I can take them on the road with me, but they’ll probably run away.I wouldn’t blame them.I’d run away from here too if I d
KennedyThree days and three long nights.I’ve been calling every agency I can think of through my lunch breaks and driving around the streets looking for her every night, despite knowing full well that she’s probably long gone. I wonder how she celebrated becoming an official adult. I wonder if she celebrated at all.I found myself at Rosie and Bill’s front door last night, just to check in person that they hadn’t heard anything. Their eyes said it all. They told me she’s a lost cause and it’s sad I haven’t accepted that yet. But I haven’t.I can’t.We’ve never had Anna Well’s mobile number on her case file, simply because she refused to give it to anyone, me included. It was Rosie’s parting gift to me, followed up with the assurance that there’s no way the madam will answer, but it still felt like I’d been handed the Holy Grail as I left their doorstep and headed back to my car. I pulled over before I was even back in Lydney, my heart thumping as I keyed her number into my mobile.R
AnnaKennedy puts the car heater on and it’s warmth feels amazing on my cold feet. I want to tell him thanks, but the words won’t come. I want to reach out and touch his hand, but I’m scared he’ll pull away.So I sit still, staring straight ahead as he drives us fuck knows where.He’s nervous and it’s obvious. His fingers keep tapping the steering wheel as we head back to Lydney. It’s weird to be in a car again, travelling roads in a flash that would’ve taken me hours on foot. I’m guessing he really must be taking me back to his, no matter what Pam might have to say about it, but he turns right when he should turn left onto his road and Annas on down the High Street.“Where we going?”“A friend’s.”I stiffen in my seat, and even that stupid small movement sets my ankle off hurting worse. “What kind of friend?”He glances in my direction and I feel a weird flutter in my belly. “You met him briefly. The guy in the suit from Drury’s.”“The posh guy? Can’t see him giving me a warm welcome
KennedyAnna devours her soup like a starving person. She dips the bread right into the bowl and I watch with fascination as she dips her fingers right in after it. She cleans the bowl, the spoon squeaking against ceramic as she scrapes up every last drop.I could watch her forever, and it surprises me, because I don’t remember ever feeling like this about Molly – not even back in the early days when things were new.Even with tangles in her hair and an obvious layer of grime on her skin, Anna Josephine is a beautiful creature.I’ve seen plenty of teenagers grow into attractive young women and never considered any of them as anything other than wards in my care, but this girl is different. Everything about her is different.She’s unusually quiet as she places the empty bowl at her side, eyes fluttering as she struggles to stay awake. She shouldn’t be here, and yet having her here feels ridiculously good. Maybe Riven is right and this is a midlife crisis. Maybe I’m just a stupid old id
KennedyI’m in the office early, attempting fruitlessly to bury myself in paperwork to numb the guilt I feel at wanting a girl less than half my age.I know I can’t act on it. I know both my professionalism and my sense of moral judgement won’t go down without one hell of a fight, no matter what my dick has to say about it.None of my colleagues have even arrived for the day when I receive the latest WTF message from Riven. I type out a response and delete it three times straight. What can I possibly say to him?Found Anna. She’s in your house with a bloody lip and a swollen ankle. Hope you don’t mind?He’d be on a plane home before the morning was out.I send him a simple everything’s fine and curse myself for it. I’ve got less than a week to find Anna a more permanent place to stay, and I’m at a brick wall with all the agencies without her cooperation.Riven’s place is the only viable option for now, although the thought of Anna trampling muddy boots all over his living room carpet
AnnaI don’t know why I’m being like this. I don’t know why I’m pushing him away as soon as he’s walked through the fucking door, but bitchy Anna is running the show and I can’t stop myself talking shit at him.I feel a weird satisfaction in the way he looks so confused. Hurt. He looks hurt, and that’s satisfying too.I don’t know why I want him to think I’m a lazy useless bitch. I only put the TV on when I saw his car pull into the street and I don’t even watch this shitty show. I don’t know why I used a different plate for every sandwich and left them piled up around me for maximum mess. I don’t know why I’m being such a terrible cow to a man who’s only ever tried to help me.Because he doesn’t want me.Because he doesn’t love me.Because he’ll never love me.The urge to give him the finger and tell him to fuck off out of my life is strong. I feel it twisting in my belly, the urge to make him leave me and get this over with.I could scream in his face that he’s a useless prick who p
RivenI thought I’d be able to breathe easy when I finally received a reply from the silent sonofabitch back home. I let out a sigh of fucking relief as his name flashed up, until I saw the ridiculous message.Everything’s fine.Just those two measly words after days of nothing.Like fuck everything’s fine. It’s the most bullshit excuse for a text message I think I’ve ever had from him. I’d laugh at how ridiculous it was if I wasn’t already worried sick about the state of his affairs in my absence.I’ve been trying to ignore it – trying to blank out the prospect of that sappy idiot losing his mind over some pretty piece of trouble while I’m in a different time zone.It’s only when I realise I haven’t registered a damn word in my latest conference session that I call up my calendar and check what events I’d be missing if I left for home early. I curse under my breath, because fucking dammit, there’s at least three presentations I’ve marked on my must see list over the next few days. Bu