KennedyI should’ve called Anna last night. Or I should’ve at least tried. Even better, I should’ve turned back up at Riven’s and told her I’m not going to be pushed away by her sticking her middle finger up to everyone trying to help. I should’ve told her that if things were different, if I was ten years younger and hadn’t spent the last five months with her on my books, that I’d be falling into bed with her in a heartbeat, for right or wrong.I should’ve told her I care. That I care too much.Riven’s right; this is a midlife crisis and it’s getting the better of me. I can’t get her out of my mind, and it takes every scrap of determination to stay focused on my meetings through the morning, knowing full well she’s at Riven’s getting up to Christ knows what.If she’s even still there.The idea she’s taken off again sends a chill up my spine.I’m talking through career options with a kid called Brooklyn when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I hope it’s her calling. I hope it’s her wh
“This is so fucking out of order,” he snaps and I nod because it is.“I’m sorry,” I say, which is the truth of it. “I was in a corner. I was trying to do the right thing.”“The right thing would have been to book her into a fucking hotel, Kennedy. The right thing would have been to let me know you’re using my fucking house as emergency accommodation. The right thing would have been to fucking tell me you found her in the fucking first place.”I nod through all of it. Yes, yes and more yes.I feel like a fucking idiot, more off the rails than even I fully realised.“It isn’t his fault,” Anna offers and her simple defence makes my heart pang.“It is my fault,” I counter. “This was my decision, Anna didn’t ask to come here.”“The crow’s your fault,” Anna tells Riven and I will her to shut up before she talks herself into a bigger hole than we’re in already. “You need to fix your fucking fence. It’s dangerous.”It’s a three way stand-off, all of us staring and nobody speaking a word.Rive
AnnaPosh guy isn’t so much of a dick as I thought he would be. I normally hate rich people – they look down their noses when I pass them on the street like they’re so much better than me. But being rich doesn’t give you a free pass out of Dumbville. Having money doesn’t make your shit smell any better than mine.I thought I’d hate this guy, Riven, but I don’t. Even though he’s a negligent asshole with his fencing, and his temper is as hot as mine, he doesn’t seem like an absolute total douche.I feel a weird sizzle when he’s close, and it’s not just because he’s a proper man – like Kennedy –but because he’s different to everyone else I’ve ever met. A different different to Kennedy.Kennedy is strong and calm and considered. Kennedy looks at me as though I’m someone who could be somebody someday. He looks at me as though I’m more than my shitty reputation, like I have my own mind and my own brain and my own reasons for acting like I do.Kennedy gives me hope I’ve never dared to have b
RivenI try to work out if they’ve fucked or not. Kennedy’s got stronger control over his fucking dick than I have if he hasn’t fucked the girl already.Whatever heated exchange they’re having on my living room carpet dries up as I return. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife as Anna scrubs the carpet like a lunatic.Oh how quickly things change.This morning I boarded a plane with the sole intention of putting an end to Kennedy’s Anna Josephine insanity for good. This evening I’ve invited the crazy girl to stay in my home, not for Kennedy’s sake, but for hers.Hers and maybe mine.I’m rarely excited by anything, but I’m excited by her.When I was a kid, I loved going to watch daredevil stunts with my dad. I loved the guys on bikes doing flips in the air and the people getting shot out of cannons. I loved magic shows where the pretty assistant always got sawn in half in a box.It always felt so exhilarating – the inevitable buzz of adrenalin that zipped up my spine at the thought
KennedyI should be long asleep when the text message sounds.It’s Riven, of course, not Anna.My heart thumps at the possibility that she’s already decimated his patience. Maybe she’s already descended into hissing monster Anna and he’s thought better of his offer. Maybe it wouldn’t entirely be such a bad thing, having to bring her back here.Maybe I could hide her from Pam long enough to figure something out. Maybe having her around could work, even if I won’t allow myself to cross the line with her. Maybe I’d even be able to help her through her shit without having to check all the right boxes at work.I open the message, expecting the worst – but it’s nothing like that.Man to fucking man, Kennedy, are you gonna fuck the girl or what?My reply is instant, even though my gut aches with it.Of course I’m fucking not.It takes a while for him to reply. I’m just about drifting off to sleep when the phone bleeps at me.But you want her? I’m talking for real here.I don’t let myself go
AnnaI know Riven and Kennedy both think I’m being a lazy bitch who doesn’t give a shit, not for all the advice they’re trying to give me, and not for the way they sigh and shake their heads and try to work me out. I tell them nothing about the work I’m doing on the fences while they’re busy in their day jobs. I tell them nothing about the way I leave Riven’s place every morning and dig around the outbuildings for supplies as soon as his big fancy car pulls off the driveway.I keep my mouth shut because I’ve never done this kind of shit before and I don’t want to look like a total fucking idiot for getting it wrong. I’ve never hammered in fence posts and strung wire fencing, and trimmed back overgrown hedgerows and measured out planks before. I check out videos on my phone through Riven’s Wi-Fi whenever I’m grabbing a quick sandwich for lunch, and I may not have any swanky grades from school, but by the end of the first week of sorting out Riven’s neglected grounds, I think I might be
I notice Riven’s only pulled out two mugs. “Where’s Kennedy?”“Leaving do. Some temp worker from his office. He’ll be over tomorrow.”My heart drops. “Tomorrow?”Riven nods. “Will probably be a late one, these crappy socials normally are.”“Only if you want to stay at them.” I can’t help feeling rejected, even though it’s stupid. I can’t help feeling like he should be as excited to get here as I am excited to see him, even though I hate him now.“He’ll be over in the morning,” Riven says. “Give the guy a break, will you? He’s been fawning around you all pissing week already.”He hasn’t been fawning around me at all, just trying to get me some shitty council accommodation, but I don’t say it.I must look sad because Riven tips his head and sighs. “If you miss him so fucking much, maybe you should stop being such a cow when he’s here.”“It’s complicated,” I say and he laughs.“You’re fucking complicated, Anna.” He stirs my tea, and I love the way he knows just how I like it now. He puts
RivenI should have known by now to expect the unexpected from Anna Josephine. I should have known that my suspicions were right and there was more going on with her than vegging in front of my TV every day, stacking up plates as though she’s been having a one-girl feeding frenzy, even though the fridge is still stocked full.I should’ve also known better than to tell her she should’ve just shown me her tits if she wanted to, and not contemplated the possibility she would follow through with it.But here I am, standing open-mouthed as Anna pulls down her grubby white top and bares her perfect pale tits to me.She’s confident at first, cocky even. Her shoulders are back and proud as she juts out her sweet rosy nipples.And I was wrong.I have seen plenty of tits in my time, but I haven’t seen it all before. I’ve never seen a pair of tits that make my mouth water like this pair.She has a beauty mark to the side of her right nipple. There’s a smear of mud above her left. And they’re bea