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Chapter 36
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An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 37
Can't you just say sorry? The question they ask again and again like a broken machine. Or the audio they play at fares. When you sit by one of the rides for so long that the recorded voice is familiar to you like your shadow. They ask it again. And again. And again. I wish it would stop. But not really. Talking helps to not think of him. Only a little. But it's more than what I can ask for. For now, I can only pretend that I don't feel guilt for what I've done. I've never felt it before. But I want it to stop. Almost as if a chain were around my neck and dangling into my hollow chest, it holds me down. Not nicely. I want it to stop. Sitting at the mall's food court, I look at the table blankly. Pike sits with me as the other three go and buy whatever. He tries to make conversation, but I'm too short to keep it alive. But that's natural. I'm a killer. Harboring life isn't in my nature. Mentally or physically. "How is art?" asks Pike. I look up from staring at the table and lo
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 38
Sitting in bed, I wait to see if whoever is ringing the doorbell has gone away. It's probably Ves or Pike. Maybe Mia or Jack. Or all of them. They've come around to pick me up to go to school, but I've skipped for about a week now. Maybe two. Days melt together when you don't have a routine.Ever since that day, I've been at home. I haven't even bothered to go out to shop. I just sit in my bedroom and sleep. And I go to the bathroom, and sometimes the kitchen to drink. But I hardly eat. Maybe an apple a day. Sometimes nothing.My phone I threw behind the couch and let the battery die. I don't care about talking anymore. To anybody. I just want to sit and die. And I'll never go back to school again. Ever.So I sit here and try to think of nothing. As my body slowly withers away.But whoever is ringing the doorbell is terribly persistent. Much more than anybody else who's come around to ring.I slowly turn my head to the side to look at the clock on my nightstand. It's ten in the mornin
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 39
Maybe I will go to school. I have been thinking about it. After I went shopping two nights ago, I've started to leave my apartment more. I haven't gone to school, but I've gone out. A small step to closure. I do eat too. A little. It's more than the previous amounts. I've at least stopped losing weight. But I'm not gaining any either. I guess it's good. But I still feel sad inside. Less from before, but still numb. Walking from my bedroom to my kitchen, I pull out a bowl and make some oatmeal. I usually eat this for breakfast and lunch. And dinner is usually some bread I toast with jam. Sometimes I go out and eat at one of the restaurants in my neighborhood. I thought of what Sean said. He said to find closure, and move on. After thinking about it for a while, I made a rough plan of what I could do in the future. After I turn eighteen in December, I intend to leave Lonewood. Reverting back to my original plan. Maybe I'll travel around and find a place I can be. In some island
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 40
After a week of school of avoiding Dane, as well as most of everyone else, I start to feel better. I can at least think about Dane without really feeling any form of regret or wistfulness. I feel a bit as if Pike betrayed me. Once in the cafeteria, and another at the parking lot. He most likely had some reason, but I still feel a bit of loathing for him. Small, but it's there.I don't care. I probably will not see anybody from my crew once I leave. And when I do see them again, I'll probably not hate them.Walking home, I swing by that little store I stumbled into the night I decided to turn my life sideways. Where I met Lewis. He's been sticky with me ever since that day at the cafeteria. We sometimes end up in the same place.Lewis happens to be in most of the classes that I take where Dane isn't there. We sometimes have conversations. He does most of the talking and I just watch him talk. Observing how his lips and his hands move around when he talks. It's entertaining. What he say
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 41
"You should come to my party this weekend!" says Lewis happily as he and Irene walk out with me from the cafeteria."Party, huh?" I say flatly.The idea bores me."Yeah! There will be cake, and cupcakes, and maybe pancakes. And a lot of fun stuff to do," goes off Lewis happily."And a lot of people, so you can see everybody," says Irene."Amazing," I say flatly."So you'll come?" asks Lewis."I didn't say that.""But will you?" questions Lewis excitedly.I stop walking and think for a moment. I have still about a month and a half left. It's the second week of November. And besides going to school, which I loathe, I really have nothing else to do. I work out maybe four times a week and go shopping. But besides those three, I pretty much sit in bed and relax. And read some books that I randomly pick out from the library.Not really entertaining."Who is invited to this party?" I ask."Only the seniors. But I can't guarantee if the juniors or any of the younger kids will be there. They m
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 42
Slipping into clothes that are warm, I look in my bathroom mirror. I guess part of me is into parties.My black knitted sweater hugs my body lightly. The turtle neck is loosely wrapped around. It helps to draw out the natural red color of my skin. My hair is straight and it sits nicely. Some of the longer strands poke out, but I don't bother doing anything.Turning off the bathroom light and stepping out, I walk over to my bed and sit. I hadn't bothered going to school after I got chased down. I just stayed home. It was a Wednesday anyway. Only two days left in the week. Not much of a loss.Checking my gun, I make sure I have six bullets in. Seven, including the one in the chamber. Nothing will most likely happen, but I'm always prepared. And I don't give chances.Not even the first one, anymore.After stowing it in my pocket, I grab a coat and head for the door. It's the leather one. The one from last winter. The smell of myself is twined into the fabric, and I can tell that the once
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 43
The Mobius curve is like a bridge folded in onto itself. Grotesque architecture. Unlicensed surgery, really. It looks terrible. When I first saw it in my math class in the program, I thought it was somebody's kidney that got carved out to that shape. The diagram itself was red in hue, and that's what came to mind.A wicked mind to have as a ten-year-old.But I guess the Mobius curve has some 'mercy', unlike me. Because the roaring and endless ride breaks and I feel the rush fading. My body is not detached from my head, and I can feel reality becoming flat and smooth. Not the crazy Ferris-wheel it turned into.A certain smell makes me alert and my eyes fly open. The smell of...Dane.My eyes see the color of skin. The shape of Dane's naked chest materializes before my eyes. And trailing my eyes upwards, I look into his sleeping face. Sleeping thankfully. One arm is draped over my shoulders.How did I get into this position? My eyes widen, but I don't make a noise. I realize slowly that
An Eye for a Bullet Chapter 44
Because I lost some blood, I sit on the couch with Rupert and Dane and try not to move around excessively. I needed some heat that isn't my own. Rupert and Dane were more than happy to provide it. After the time we spent apologizing, Dane's father finally made a sound that alerted us of his presence. He 'didn't want to disturb', in his own words. He said he saw the whole thing, Dane breaking down and crying, me forgiving, and the rest. He didn't have it in him to stop us. But whatever. The doctor came by about an hour ago. He pulled open my wound and checked to see if the bone was cracked. I hissed and snarled, but none of them really got scared by that. Rupert actually snuggled closer to me. Big teddy bear. The doctor, Dr. Carrier, said that my skull was intact. My upper dermal layer would need time to heal, but I should be fine. He said to rest and drink and eat plentily. Dexter said he would make sure that I ate. After Dr. Carrier left, Dane just lay down with me and hu
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