Feeling Something

NERO’S POV

Athena returned in an outfit different from the one she walked out of the room wearing. The anger I held onto as I waited for her to return with my mother depilated when she walked in. She looked sexy wearing shorts and all my curiosity about how she looked under her nightgown earlier was nearly satisfied.

There was my mate, looking sexy as hell. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen her in shorts. The idea that she was my mate even though I don’t want her to be walking around like that made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.

Every time I try to forget about Zara and focus on my present life, I see Zavier’s broken face pictured in my mind. It always makes me wonder what Zara would think of me when in a fraction of a second I try to forget about her when her body was barely cold in the ground.

I don’t want Athena, I could never want her like that and I wished that my body didn’t act on its own so that staying away from her could be easier.

She had a smile on her face and her cheeks were red. I wanted to ask her what has got her smiling like that. I knew it couldn’t be me. I could never make her smile even if I tried. Which I don’t want to. I need to see her suffer the same way she was making me suffer.

“Do me a favor, whatever has got you smiling, I need you wipe it off your face. It makes you look like a clown and I hate clowns, I despise them.” I sneered at her my voice calm.

She didn’t look one bit like a clown, I just wanted her to stop smiling. Her beautiful face.

Fuck! What is wrong with me?

I watched as the smile fell and her face went back to being straight as it did when she came into the room this morning.

“You don’t deserve to smile when others are hurting and grieving because of you.” I said again bitterness filling my heart.

Athena stiffened as if she had been reminded that she was the reason Zara died, exactly what I wanted.

I saw tears drop from her eyes and I felt my heart clench painfully.

Why was I feeling this way?

I didn’t know if it was because she was crying or because my thoughts drifted to Zara.

She should have been in my arms right now, Zara that is. 

Athena pulled me out of my daze when she sniffled. She turned around and walked to her wardrobe and pulled out a few sets of clothes then she walked out of the room.

Zavier had called for me. He and I were supposed to meet at our usual spot or his house but I was too pissed to go see him. I would only end up feeling worse about not giving Athena more hell than I should.

He always had a way of showing me the painful side of the truth and most of the time I appreciated it, just not today.

I left my room wanting to get some fresh air when I took notice of some children playing around the garden. They were children of the workers and although they were not allowed into the garden in case they ruined it, the surrounding part of it was just as beautiful.

What I did not expect to see was Athena walking down the lake side. She sat there and from the way her shoulders shook, I knew she was crying. That aching feeling returned and I frowned not understanding it.

Why did I care if she was hurt?

I found myself watching her back. Taking note of how the wind blew her luscious hair around which compared to Zara’s was a lot fuller, just the way I like it.

Fucking stop it Nero! I snapped

Why was I even comparing her to my love?

I however didn’t leave my position for a while but I got up and headed down to where she was. The closer I got to her, the more I questioned why I was heading there.

Her whole face was covered in tears when she sensed me close to her and I wondered how guilty she felt to cry this much.

But she had to pay right?

“Get up!” I snapped not intending to. “Get the fuck up.”

Athena rushed to stand on her feet. She looked torn and a part of me loved that she was hurting even just a little bit. The other side of me however wanted to hold her and make the tears stop.

“You’re married to me, which means you will not do anything of any sort to ruin my reputation in the eyes of the pack. You think sitting out here will get you pity? It only makes you look pathetic and I will not have people thinking the Royal family isn’t treating you right. I will give you hell, but by goddess if anyone outside of this walls finds out, I’ll throw you down the fighting podium myself and you’ll die the same way Zara did. Do you understand?”

I intended for people not to find out that she and I were not on speaking terms but from the roar of my voice, I knew the few around could tell. Most had a look of shock, some anger and others pity but I don’t give two shits about what they think.

“I fucking asked you a question stupid! Do you fucking understand?” I asked again walking close to her leaving only a few inches between us.

I knew she went to freshen up earlier, the smell of fresh mint and coconut hit my nostril that I could shut my eyes and savor the sweet scent. She smelled heavenly but I could never tell her that. I kept my face hard as I looked into those fear filled eyes of hers.

She was shaking in fear, something she seemed to do around me a lot. “Ye-yes I-I understand.” She stammered taking a few steps away from me.

It took everything in me not to pull her into my arms.

“I don’t want to see you outside the Palace room ever again. Got it?”

Athena nodded and ran off into the Palace.

I wanted to keep her hidden from everyone. Unless she had a place to be with my mother, I didn’t want her to get the luxury of meeting the pack as my mate. It was a cruel thing to do, evil even but what can I say? I aim to make her  more miserable than she has made me.