You make me lose control

Amy

My blood is heating up. I can feel hot blood running through my veins. Oh, god! Jace is so close to me that I can breathe in his scent. His manly scent is sexy as hell. He smells like collagen and wood. A strange mixture but has got me intoxicated.

"What do I do to you?" I whisper into his hair.

"You really want to know?" he inquires in a tone sexy as hell.

"Yes," I reply and dare to run my hand over his chest. It feels so hard through his shirt. It is no doubt he works out.

"Are you tempting me, Amy?" he asks me with a smile playing on his lips.

"I hope so," I reply with a shy smile.

"Damn it, Amy," he curses and grasps my waist. He puts me on top of the kitchen counter with my legs engulfing his waist. His lips run across my jaw and his breathing tickles my skin. I purse my lips to stifle a giggle.

"I don't think you would want to talk about it," he purrs into my hair.

"What? Is it terrifying?" I grin into his neck.

"No, the opposite," he says. 

"Amazing?" I ask.

"That smart mouth can surely be put to good use," he says with hooded eyes.

"We can arrange that," I don't have any idea what I am saying. My mouth clearly has a mind of its own. I kinda like it.

"Can we now?" he says with an evil smirk. My blood boils. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. I hope I don't leave bruises. His hands caress my bare thighs. I had not realized that my dress had gone up and part of my thighs was exposed. His hands work lazy patterns on my thighs which send delicious tingles to my core.

"You make me lose control," he whispers into my ear. I run my fingers through his hair and he moans into my ear. My insides melt. His hands run up my back in a caress and across the zipper.

"Jace," I don't know what am doing.

"Amy," he whispers across my lips and a delicious tingle runs down my spine to my groin. His lips brush mine again and I can't resist any longer. I pull him closer and his lips crush against mine. The kiss that was meant to be simple and gentle turns into a flaming and urgent kiss reflecting both our desires and lust. I open my mouth for him and his tongue sweeps over mine and they entangle into a dancing rhythm. The kitchen is filled with our moans and groans as we lose ourselves in the kiss. His mouth is so warm it heats my entire being.

Jace pulls out of the kiss leaving me wanting and panting. He untangles himself from my body and I immediately feel cold. I clasp my legs out of embarrassment and regain my composure.

"I'm so sorry, Amy. That was not supposed to happen," he says with a flat tone. He runs his hands through his messy unruly hair. He stands in front of me all calm and serious. My lover who was just making me feel good in the last minutes has already disappeared.

"Oh," is all I can bring myself to say.

"I am going to go now," he says and ticks his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I am too confused to say anything. I just nod to him and he walks out of the kitchen. I sink my head into my palms. I hear the door close and the house goes gravely quiet.

I won't cry. 

I won't cry.

I am a big girl.

I repeat this mantra in my head so I won't break into tears. I can feel my eyes pooling with tears. What happened? Did he not like it? Did I do anything wrong? I thought he liked it. The way he held me and kissed me made me feel he liked me, but the way he withdrew from me told me other ways.

I knew this was going too fast. I had a great time at his house with his family. I liked them. Were they really happy to see me? Are they laughing at me now for being a silly girl who jumps into the arms of a man who she just met the night before? 

I am now questioning everything. I am questioning my judgment and reasoning. What is wrong with me? Why did I kiss him? Why didn't I keep my distance from him? I should have just given him the damn water instead of saying all that shit that got me into this mess. I don't know what to think. What is the truth and what is the lie? Part of me tells me that I am just overreacting. That Jace had to go home to his family, but the way he just left; like nothing happened between us makes me doubt that.

My head is pounding and I can't stop the thoughts swimming in my head. I get off the counter and take some water. I drag my feet to the bedroom and remove my dress. I head for the shower in hope of refreshing myself. I stay in the shower for a long and get out when my skin would be very pale. I don't seem to care if my skin turns pale or white at that moment. I am too exhausted to mind anything.

The shower seems to have done me some relief. I throw on a nightshirt and enter into bed. I open my laptop to do some work before I sleep. I stare at the book I was editing but my mind is so far away. This is hopeless, I mutter to myself. I turn off the laptop and check my phone for something exciting. There is no message or anything. A stupid side of me hoped Jace would have sent a reassuring message, apologizing for his behavior. Hell! I don't even have his number. How did things happen so fast? 

I am surely overreacting. Jace was sweet to me all day. Maybe he had a change of mood or something. He will surely come around. Tomorrow will be a good day. We will talk and smile. Perhaps he will kiss me again and we will makeup, a part of me hoped. I don't want to sink into my thoughts. My mind is filled with negative thoughts right now. I hold onto that thread of hope and cuddle with my pillow. I fall asleep into a dreamless slumber.