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Running Prt 5
I can’t see him… I can’t let him sway me, or touch me, or get close. My heart will betray me if I do.
It’s followed by the squeak of one of the cleaning carts and I exhale in relief when it rolls right on by my room and fades into the distance. My body weak with relief, and I sprawl out star shaped on my bed, exhaling so heavily I let out a whoosh noise and then moan at my own stupid despair.Stop freaking out, Alora. You’re going to get yourself in such a mess and not be able to follow through. Relax, breathe, count.I put everything into doing just that, remember the techniques I used to use when I stayed in the home and couldn’t relax or sleep on nights when everything got to me too much. I picture a meadow, a sweet-scented field full of pretty flowers, and one by one as I walk through them, I count the heads, picking them out, touching them as I go. I visualize the colors, the feel of their softy silky petals on my fingers, aRelated chapters
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 1
It’s been around eleven days since I left the valley, and I can honestly say, it’s finally beginning to get easier in some ways, but not all. I was a fool to believe it wouldn’t be hard, on so many levels, and I still can’t get my head around my own naivety. Knowing then what I do now, I don’t think I would have left at all.It’s not just the survival factor that gets to you, it’s the isolation, the loneliness, the living in constant high alert as you have to be aware of all that is around you, and the gnawing fear that sits in your gut hour after hour. I’m on edge, hyper-aware at all times, and mentally exhausted with it. Unable to ever really stop watching my back, and surroundings, always listening to make sure I’m safe, and afraid of even the tiniest of noises or movement near me. There are so many enemies in nature that I was oblivious to when living in the mountain bubble.I rarely sleep, so tuned into the noises
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 2
Mentally, as I wore on over the next days, I became numb and my will to run far from the mountain died a death. The reason I was going was primarily to outrun him and what he had to do. To try and not let it get to me, to distance myself from the pain and leave him to walk his own path without me. And yet the fates they delivered a blow that almost stopped me in my tracks completely, killing my will to find my future at all. They left me with the heavy sadness that consumes everything and just won’t lift. There’s nothing to run from anymore, it’s done. He did it.I’m just going through the motions now, without really engaging any kind of effort under this black cloud, my new constant companion. I walk, I find something to hunt and eat, I wash in rivers, I find shelter, and I sporadically sleep through the dark. The noises, the movement of nature all should bring me peace as a natural wolf, but it just serves to remind me how very alone I am, and th
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 3
It never used to make me think, or dwell, but now knowing I have red eyes and a strangely rare gift, it makes me wonder what I actually knew about my mother. Memories are mostly her in human form, and the few occasions I glimpsed her as a wolf, I don’t recall ever seeing her eyes. There isn’t much need for a pup to see their parents in wolf form when you live on a peaceful settled farm growing vegetables and raising cattle. Turning used to be a personal thing when there was no need. Like a recreational time to yourself activity among the peaceful dwellers who didn’t have to fight, or defend, or lord over anyone. The Whyte pack leader was equally stable, and calm, and I never saw him turn at all in the time I knew him.My father never mentioned it, no one did, so I doubt they were red. I mean, she was a snow-white wolf, and that was mentioned enough over the years as though it was a bad thing. I knew it meant she was different. I’m sure her eyes would hav
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 4
It must smell me or what I’m cooking and probably followed either scent out to investigate. It doesn’t look inquisitive, it looks mad as hell, with raging eyes and bared teeth and I can tell with the way it rears on its back legs and wails at me, that it’s probably my scent ticking it off and not here to say hello.Bears don’t like my kind, it’s a well-known, and documented fact, they deem us a threat and we never wander into bear territory alone. Those monsters are strong, relentless, huge, and weirdly capable of taking one of us on as long as it’s a smaller femme like me, with little to no combat skills.I get up and start backing away fast, knowing that this is some bad shit to be in right now, eyes darting around for a weapon, or escape route, as it wades towards me through underbrush, kicking rocks aside with its clumpy massive paws. I swallow hard, pull my wits about me, and start pulling off my clothes slowly, keeping my eyes trai
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 5
I don’t know what I thought I would achieve and honestly, I didn’t have time to ponder either the science or the stupidity, but I throw air at a bear in a bid to save my own hide. Then groan as logic slaps me in the head for being an idiot.Like something out of a Hollywood movie though, I watch in wide eyed disbelief, as the bear is hit with an almost invisible force that ripples the air around it, sending the milky veil into shimmering, flowing movement, like mesmerizing water after a rock is thrown in. It makes its body indent crazily, like I just rammed it with a truck at crazy speed, and for a milli-second, time slows down as I take this all in. It’s thrown back more than three times the distance it threw me, flying high in an arc through the clearing and lands with a shuddering thud on the floor below the tree line spectacularly. I swear, the ground quakes with the force and reverberates through my healing body dully, bringing a calm to the forest that w
Awakening - Rejected Mate Survival Prt 6
I don’t know whether to feel relieved, proud, or devastated by the fact I did that, alone. That I managed to pull some weird power out of my gut and take down a bear, with nothing more than air. My heart constricts, my gut twists, and I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to throw up as human emotion kicks in and slight shock takes over. I begin to tremble, heart bouncing against my chest wall, mind racing, over the fact I literally just had my second ever, real full on battle, with something capable of killing me and this time, I didn’t almost die at his hands. Umm paws. I didn’t need Colton to save me either. He’d be proud, not that it matters, or that I care of what he thinks anyway.I push my paws out in front of me, moving to stand on my hind legs and stare at them, unsure how to feel about it. Really just gawping at these strange clawed, fur covered, rather blood-soaked weapons of destruction I never knew I possessed. I mean, of course, I knew I ha
Awakening - Rejected Mate Change of Direction Prt 1
I lay on the makeshift fur bed I made myself last night, resting on my stomach lazily with a good size of the pelt over the top of me, hands crossed under my chin as I watch the early morning birds peck at the scraps I left on my cooking stone. Dancing around and merrily, eating what little I left behind. The fire has long smoldered out and everything around me is dewy with early morning moisture. Everything still, and peaceful, in the morning glow of a newly rising sun, and oddly still. I made it through another night, and I’m still here, waking with a better mood with every day this pans out.I didn’t find a cave or shelter last night, so curled up in the bear pelt, that took me a full four days to scrape and clean and dry out in the sun on the hottest rocks I could find. I’m no expert in tanning, or preserving pelts, but it works enough, even if it’s a bit stiff and smelly, and it’s worth lugging with me every day, despite the added bulk and wei
Awakening - Rejected Mate Change of Direction Prt 2
I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss a real home, beds, carpets, and all the luxuries of the valley, but I’m free. I can go where I want, answer to no one, and it’s not like I have any sort of desire to find a mate now, so there’s no point in being around wolves. My heart will always belong to him, even if he’s denied it and moved on. I would rather be alone than lie about my love for someone new, just to have company. Resigned myself to the fact, I’ll love him until I pass, no matter how many years that takes.I make swift work of getting up and pulling my now dry clothes off the rocks. I washed everything yesterday and slept naked in my fur bed, in the hopes of feeling less grubby today, less scraping by, and more pulled together. Washed myself head to foot with the last of my soap, braided my hair into two plaits hanging down each side of my head to let it dry. I was starting to feel scruffy and feral lately and needed to remind
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