Maze's
I decided to live in a dormitory near the campus where I enrolled for it doesn't have curfews. It's also been a year when I first came here and if it wasn't for Top and Mark who convinced me to enrol again for this academic year, I would have never want to study again. Not when I'm still unsure if I'll be staying here for a long time. But they are both right, it would be such a waste for me not to study while I'm still here.
If I had decided to enrol last year, then I'll probably be at the same year as Top by now since I just finished my first year when I ran from home. I'm also a Psychology student in my former university. It's also been a week since the class started but I filed a one week break with the reason that I had to work on my papers. I was able to change my name from King to Johnson. And so far, that's the biggest thorn that I'm able to remove in my heart.
That I am not carrying the cheater's name anymore.
Tomorrow will be the official start of me as a student again. And I've never been so exhausted just by thinking of the fact that there's a possibility that Gab and I will be on the same class. I know for a fact that our friends thought that I'm being unreasonable for acting rude and blunt towards Gab but I just can't help it. If only I haven't witness his confrontation with that girl from the rooftop, it would've been a better introduction. But I'm also thankful that I get to know what kind of person he is really early. It would be easier for me to distance myself from him.
I hate cheaters.
They are the main reason why my Mom is gone.
I sighed as I sat down at the edge of my bed while still looking around the lifeless room. My eyes stopped at my study table where I placed my laptop and Mom's photos.
It was then I saw the little box that she left for me. I tried to open it once but never dared to open it again.
It makes me want to puke just by reading it.
I thought it's my Mom's suicide letter but no.
She wrote about love. How beautiful it was. How wonderful it is to be in love. How life would be better if you have someone to love and hold onto.
And that fucking quotation about 'beat' that I wasn't able to fathom no matter how hard I try.
And I can't help but to mock her.
Just how the fuck was she able to see love in a beautiful way when it was actually the main reason why she gave up her life? It's fucking obvious that she was sugarcoating.
It's as if she's trying to make me believe a lie by being pretentious and used beautiful words just to make me believe that love is actually wonderful. It was then I realized that I'm laughing at my Mom's hypocrisy again. I wasn't able to control my tears when it started to roll down my cheeks as I indulge the feeling of emptiness inside me.
How can I believe in love when my life is revolving around cheaters?
How can I fucking believe about that 'beat' my Mom was talking about when I can't even understand it?
How can I ever believe in love amidst of the fact that I've been in pain my whole life?
My life is fucking full of questions.
But none of it has been answered.
I looked at my Mom's photos once again and smiled bitterly.
"If only you're strong enough to live for me, it could've been better, Mom." I said as I try to wipe my tears only to be replaced by another set of tears. "You will talk about love, and I'll listen to you. Maybe then, I'll believe you. I'll believe that love is beautiful and having someone is wonderful if only I still have you. You're the only one that I have ever love, Mom. I wish I still have you. I wish you were here."
And just like how I spent most of my nights alone, I cried myself to sleep like it was the usual thing to do.
Crying alone.
It has been my routine.
My life.
Empty.
Gabriel's"Gab, my friend!" Mike greeted me cockily as he entered the room. Our block mates looked at him weirdly as it was too early to be that loud but Mike is naturally loud. That's actually his voice's normal volume and I can't do anything but shook my head as I wait for him to finally settle down at the chair beside me. I frowned when I saw how wide his smile was. It's as if he won the lottery with that kind of look and that's quite far from the usual grin he flash every morning.Well, Mike is the type of guy who can't easily get sad. He always looks at the brighter side of things. That's why he decided that he'll also study Psychology with me so that, he'll be able to infect his future clients with his happy virus. And as for me, I wanted to study Psychology to be able to read people's mind. Well, not totally read them to a certain extent that I can guess what they're going to say but I want to be able to know who's telling the truth amo
Gabriel's"That's all for today, Everyone. Class dismissed." Our professor said and we all uttered thanks in unison before he left. I heaved a deep sigh before stretching my arms same with Mike. Our block mates started to get out of the classroom one by one but I prefer to let them go ahead of us.It's our lunch break already. I looked at Maze on the other side and saw that he's looking at his phone intently with a frown. I can also see that it's ringing but it seems like he doesn't want to answer it."Maze! Gab!" The three of us looked at the guy who called us and saw Top with the other three members of Thoughts at Midnight. I can't pretty much remember their names as I wasn't really focusing on them last night.I don't know but I felt something weird when Top called our names. It sounded cute. Suitable. My eyes widened when I realized what I was actually thinking.'Suitable? What the f
Maze'sI don't understand the look on their faces especially Gab's when we finally settled down on our table. Their faces is unusually sour as if they had lost their appetite the moment they saw the person that I came along with. I was talking to one of my subordinates over the phone when the guy suddenly approached me and introduced himself as the same guy who bought some drinks for me last night, which I obviously ignored. I tried to get away from him by blabbering some excuses using my band mates. But it turns out that he's their junior and he said he wants to bond with us today.And of course, I'm not dense. I know his agenda and it's kind of irritating me but I don't have a choice. As much as I want to get rid of him, I can't risk my band mates' relationship with him. There's a possibility that he'll vent it out to them if ever I made a wrong move.Such a great way to start welcome me in my first day here, right? Ts
Gabriel's"Okay, Guys. Make yourself at home!" Top exclaimed jokingly as we all settled on our seats. They all laughed except me as I was too busy looking around. My eyes lingered around the bar, trying to cope up with the wild lights surrounding the place as it started to become crowded."We have just arrive but the predator is already looking for a prey." Mike blurted out, clearly pertaining to me as soon as he noticed that I can't stop looking around and I winced. Of course my friends teased me for being a natural sex predator that I am but little did they know that the one I'm looking for was actually more deserving to be called a predator rather than a prey.Who else could it be aside from the coldblooded Maze?I hadn't seen him on our afternoon class, and even his friends doesn't know his whereabouts when Mike asked Top. It's just his first day yet he already had the spunk to ditch clas
Gabriel'sAs I went back to the dorm, a little tipsy, I stumbled upon the stairs but immediately stood up, afraid that someone might see me like this. I even had a hard time opening the door because I can't put the key inside, but I was able to open it eventually. Again, I stumbled upon entering the room so I had to crawl towards my bed.Think I had gone too far tonight that I've pushed myself beyond my alcohol tolerance. It's because of what Mike said. He reminded me of my Dad, making me want to brushed off the thought of him by drinking too much. I really hate it when someone had triggered my memory about that person.He was supposed to be long forgotten.But I also understand that Mike is unaware about my issues with my Dad so I don't have a choice but to just keep it to myself. I removed my shoes using my feet and then fished my phone in my pocket to check what time is it.It's already 1:00 am i
Gabriel'sIf it wasn't because of my alarm, I'm damn sure that I'll be sleeping all day. I groaned as I reached for it on my bedside table and turned it off. I stared at the ceiling as I feel my head aching. Probably because of hangover.'I should remind myself not to drink too much next time. Geez.'I looked around my room and frowned as I saw a can of Sprite and 3 oranges on my mini dining table. I hurriedly got up from my bed and looked around totally disoriented because of this fucking hang over.Nothing's changed. Everything is on their right places except for the clothes that I wore last night--'Wait, what?!'I looked at my whole under my blanket and saw that my clothes were changed!'What the fuck is happening?!'I walked towards the dining table and plucked the sticky note that is attached on the can."These can
Gabriel's"What's with that murderous look of yours, Gab? You look like someone who would kill any time." Mike said as I sat down beside him but instead of answering him, I sighed before taking the oranges from my bag. "Aow, oranges. Can I have some?" He tried reaching for my oranges but good thing I'm quick enough to move it away from him."Mine." I said as I glared at him and he had no choice but to back off while puckering. He even scratched his head as he look at me."You should really remind yourself not to drink too much. Aside from being grumpy, you're also being stingy because of your hangover. Sharing is caring, you know?" He said, as if trying to guilt trip me but to no avail.'Caring, my ass. You didn't even bother to take me home last night and now you're talking about caring? Tsa!'I just glared at him before peeling the orange in front of him and he watched me.&nb
Gabriel'sEveryone was kind of dumbstruck while looking at the professor who keeps on clapping while looking at Maze. He then smiled before facing the projection and used the remote to show another slide.The slide contains the patient's diagnosis chart. The whole class fell in silence as we all focused on the encircled phrase at the lower part of the slide which proves that Maze's diagnosis is correct.The patient really has schizoaffective disorder.Mike and I looked at each other and I can see that he, same as me, didn't expect that Maze was quite a big brain. And a conceited one! I looked at Mac and his expressions clearly show defeats. He also looks upset but couldn't do anything cause it's obvious that he lost and that picking on Maze is not a good idea at all.'Well, who would've thought that this arrogant vocalist is smart?'I looked at Maze and he's just s