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CHAPTER 110: Final Straw
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Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 111: Closet Tryst
LUKAThe party was still in full swing when I got back inside. It was the only other place I had to go since she had asked me not come. I passed by a group of wild students playing beer pong and grabbed a bottle of beer on the way before returning back to where I was sitting. They were sitting in a circular fashion with the chairs rearranged and a bottle on the table in the center. My seat beside Erica had been occupied by someone else and the only spare place to sit was opposite her and I took it. It would save me the stress of answering her question about where I've been anyway. They were playing spin the bottle game but I tipped my head against the head rest and closed my eyes barely interested. The only indication that I'm not asleep was the bottle of beer that I was drinking from. There was a storm going on inside of me. The kind that used to drive me to get into fights, but today I'm finding out that I didn't have the strength. I deserved to let it tear me up from the insid
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 112: How Do Humans Break?
They say time flies when you're having fun but the opposite of it should be that it slows when you're waiting. Because there is no way in hell time flies when you're doing nothing. I mean, just look at me. I'm a living example that all time does when you wait is crawl, giving anxiety more room to claw at your nerves and regret every choice you've made. At first I had hoped that he was going to come, so I put on the TV and waited. Then fashionable late became explanaible late and turned in to just late, when I could no longer come up with excuses to give on his behalf. With every tick of the clock, it dawned on me that I had made a big mistake coming down here to live when everything was not solved.I had an idea it was a mistake so far living here but now it seems like a giant mess. Because this is my last hope at a fighting chance. When my stomach started rumbling because I haven't had anything all day I decided to start with the fruits, before working up my way to the cake. I
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 113: Losing Her The Second Time
"What time is it?" I held my head trying to hold it in place, feeling like it could split into two and look around searching for Joey but coming up empty. That means I slept here alone last night. I get up on wobbly feet and make it to the toilet. I grabbed the bedpost and door on my way before finally emptying my full bladder. When I finished, I stood in front of the mirror to wash my hand in front of the wash hand basin and I gasped in horror. I look like shit. I feel like shit too. My hair was sticking everywhere and there was a line of spit near my mouth. My eyes were red and my eyes have dark stubble underneath. I also smelled like booze, and a strange perfume I won't usually wear. .I cupped my hand under the sink to scoop some water to wash my face. I stood there for a while leaning over the sink as the events of yesterday night slowly trickled in; leaving Bella hanging, the darned party, going to the closet with Erica and getting back here only to drink some more. I n
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 114: Trip Down Guilty Lane
She didn't leave right? Her stuff was still here so where was she? I'm tired of just waiting at this point. So I pick my keys and wear my slides and my coat and head out. I try the local basketball gym first, then her school, the shelter where the dog was, the store, the cinema, and all of them came back empty. I finally decided to head home. Maybe she was back home after all. It's almost 10pm at night but she still wasn't back home. I dialed Paula twise and when she picked on the fourth ring I yelled out, "where the fuck have you been?" She must have been taken aback by the way I spoke because she chuckled dryly, "well, hello to you too brother." I breathe loudly trying to calm myself down and sit down even though I couldn't help drumiing my feet on the floor. "Is Bella with you?" There was a slight pause like she didn't understand what I meant so I repeated it. "Is Bella by any chance at your place or do you know where she is?" "No. It's almost a 4 hours train ride down here.
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 115: But you Let her go
LUKA"Did you see this girl here at the night of the party?" I asked, feeling my head pound. The red eyed boy who was barely listening to us answered, "No." "Damn it, you didn't even look at the picture," I grabbed him at the shoulder to shake him and I must have caught him off guard because then he peered back into my phone. "Relax man. You know how these college parties go. I'm not sure, I remember what happened that night, remembering someone I saw is a far stretch." "Yes but you should slow down on the drugs then," Paula dragged me away from him knowing that I was close to my breaking point. "Screaming at him isn't going to change anything. I need you to calm down." "I can't fucking calm down Paula. It's been two days. I'm at the end of the rope and it feels like I'm losing my mind. It feels like Bella getting kidnapped over and over again and I don't know what is wrong with her and it's like living close to an edge knowing that you're going down very fast. And I can't breath
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 116: Thresholds of Pain
BELLAPain; An unpleasant emotional or sensory experience that is associated with actual or potential damage. While unpleasant, pain is actually protective. It lets us know that we are alive, tells us when to run from danger or how much of it could kill us. They say there is a very thin line between pain and pleasure but there is a much more thinner line between pain and nothingness, a place where you retreat into where pain can't touch you. How much pain can a human take before you find out that enough is enough and drive down the ledge. I watched my mom from my position on the bed where I was propped up with my leg hanged up to a suspension kit and rods and metals hanging out from it as indication of the restriction they did on my femur. I had an open fracture of the femur bone, I also broke one rib that pierced my lung and had me unconscious for a few days but everything has been resolved except for my thigh. It will take approximately 6-12 weeks for my thigh to remain in this
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 117: Therapy Session
"Do you think you're open to talking about the miscarriage now? This is our tenth session together so far." Liz my therapist asked and I shrugged nonchalantly. "Alright then, we will leave that till when you genuinely want to discuss it yourself and feel like you're ready."I scoffed and adjusted in the warm fuzzy cushion keeping my eyes on the sand glass that was inverted and draining slowly. This office space was warm and cozy especially for one that wasn't a private practice. It had daring art pieces on a wall, one of a picture of a face mostly the tongue with sink hole drainage and another beside with a padlock on the lips and the last of a girl with bright eyes and a protruding tongue with a wide smile. Everytime I've sat in this office the first picture gave me the jeebies just because I had Trypophobia and wondered how anyone could stare at without feeling irritated. The second one was thought provoking because of the sadness in the models eyes and the huge padlock dangling o
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 118: Nothing Has Changed.
LUKAPaula- Where are you? Me: I'm in class. Paula: Is it your last class for the day? Me: Yes. Paula: Oh. I'm glad you are finally taking classes and school serious again. Me: I will now if you stop texting me. Paula: well I'm just checking up on youI'M FINE! I typed out furiously in all caps before erasing it and just throwing the phone back into my bag before sighing loudly. I'm tired of the constant check ups and the excessive cuddling and worry. I am fine. It's been a year. One whole year. That's enough time to move on isn't it? If that's is so then why are you planning to go to the police station after class?Because I need closure. I need to know that she is fine somewhere than not knowing if she is dead or alive or dropped off the face of the earth. They were actually pretty good at running. Because no matter how much I searched I've come up empty. It was either I wasn't looking in the right places or they went to great lengths to be hidden. There are days I'm not
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