6. The Bad Boy Fought For Me

C H A P T E R  6  :  W H E N  I T  H I T S  H A R D

I am just a human, trying to look for fleeting moments of temporary happiness in this endless void of sorrow and solitude.

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It was raining by the time Kelsey was making her way home. The front porch was dark, no light was lit, giving an eerie feeling to the already bleak-looking building. She unlocked the front door and entered, trying her best not to bring the mud into the house because the floors were hard to scrub. The usual silence greeted her home. It seemed that her dad was still at the construction site where he worked. She too was supposed to be working today at the diner but her manager had suddenly called during lunch break, informing her that today was quite a lazy day for the business and they did not need another pair of hands. That was fifty dollars less than usual for her. No work meant no money, and she needed tons of money to be able to pay the bills. She had learned not to rely on her dad. His money was usually spent on booze and he only gave her allowance when he was sober which was hardly ever the case. Lately, he never stopped drinking unless he had no money left. Moreover, her dad could get fired anytime now for slacking at work or showing up dead drunk, like what he had done to the past three jobs before this. Kelsey needed to have money ready to cover their expenses.

Money. That word somehow led her to her conversation with Flynn Ascott the other day. If Kelsey did not have her pride, she would have gone after his money. His family was rich and he could save her from having to work day and night to handle the bills. Even one or two thousand dollars, which probably meant nothing to him, would mean so much for her.

No, it was not just pride. It was more than that. Kelsey was just a kid when she was forced to grow up since the day her mother had walked away from her family, and until now, she strived to be independent. If she let herself rely on his money, not the money she earned with her own blood, sweat, and tears, what would that make her? She would not be able to stare at her own reflection and recognize herself if she had chosen the easy way.

The sound of something crashing to the floor prompted her from going up the stairs to her bedroom. Carefully, her hand lifted the strap and put her bag on the floor against the wall. “Dad?” she called out but nobody answered. Without making any noise, she moved towards the source of the ear splitting sound. Once she walked into the kitchen, she knew that it was a huge mistake, that she should not have done that.

“You!” A finger nearly jabbed her eyeball if she had been closer. “How dare you leave me here? How dare you?” Her father, Mark Ferreira, tipped his head back and emptied the beer on his hand before throwing the bottle carelessly to the floor, causing Kelsey to yelp. “You did this. You broke my heart. When you left, you left me broken. How could you do this to me? You said you love me!” He walked towards her with bloodshot eyes and she knew she should run yet her legs buckled and she had no power to will her own body. Inside her head, she was screaming, telling both of her feet to move but nothing happened. Even they were as scared as she was. “We had our vows! You promised me forever!”

The first hit she took was always the worst one. Perhaps they were all the same, but she was getting used to it over time. After several times being hit, the third the fourth the fifth, they were all the same. She could not tell the difference.

“Dad, it is me,” she nearly cried, and she almost did not recognize her own voice. She sounded like a wounded animal. Like a puppy that was being beaten multiple times. “It is me, Kelsey. I am not Mom. It is me. Please stop. Dad, you are hurting me.”

“How dare you, Layla?!” His fist struck her cheekbone, and she wished he would have left her face alone because those bruises were the hardest to conceal. “You fucking left me, you bitch! You fucking left! You broke our vows, you broke me! How could you?!”

Only when the beating stopped and she could no longer hear his hard breathing, Kelsey looked up. Her surroundings were dark, the only source of light was their neighbor's, and it took a while for her eyes to adjust. She tilted her head, listening to the quiet house and once she was sure her dad had either passed out or left the house, she rose to her feet. It was a struggle since her legs had been asleep for the last hour in a squatting position. Her hand caught the edge of the kitchen bar for support.

As she walked to the bathroom upstairs, she kept wishing that her face would not look so bad. She tried to lift the corner of her mouth and it stung, informing her that her wish did not come true. “Damn.”

There was no sign of her father anywhere. Perhaps since he had finished all his stash, he had gone out to get more. It was not the first time her father had mistaken her for her mom and beat the shit out of her and she doubted this would be the last.

Kelsey swung the bathroom door open and walked in, only stopped by the mirror. Her left cheek was red and no doubt in a few hours it would turn purplish. “Oh, damn it, what should I do?”

Tomorrow she would have a Chemistry test, even if she wanted to skip school, she couldn't but at the same time she couldn't show up with bruises on her face. It was easier to hide them when they were on her back or arms or stomach where her father had once kicked her.

She heaved a sigh. After taking a shower, she went downstairs and cleaned up the mess her father had made in the kitchen. She put the glass shards into a plastic bag and threw it into the dumpster on the back of her house. Her cheek was still hurt like hell and she decided to go and get some ice cubes from the twenty four hours mart at the end of her street.

Reaching the entry of the mart, she could see her old childhood friend, Ray, working night shift behind the register. “Just my luck.”

Ray Shepherd and Kelsey used to be friends. He was one year older and since they both were an only child, they often played together growing up. Everything changed after Kelsey's mother left. She was not sure what had caused them to grow apart but she remembered one day she walked to school alone without Ray who usually rode his bike beside her. It had been five years now and she did not know how to act or what to say to him. She knew any interaction would be awkward. As she pushed the glass door, she was relieved to see that he was occupied with a customer that he had not noticed her.

Kelsey quickly rushed to where they stacked ice at the freezer on the back of the third lane. If she was lucky, he would still be occupied by the time she went to pay. Her hand reached for a bag of ice cubes and before the freezer closed properly, she rushed to the cashier, two registers away from where Ray was standing. There was a man standing in the queue in front of her. She stood there, ducking her head. She moved her hair over one shoulder, hoping it would conceal her face especially her left cheek where she felt the throbbing pain. Out of one corner of her eye, she watched Ray's customer had left, leaving his register to be unoccupied. If it was someone else and not him, she would change lane, pay, then leave as soon as her tired feet could carry her.

The man in front of her did not take his eyes off his phone and she wished he did so he could move to Ray's register and get him occupied.

“Next customer, please.” She heard Ray call out. “Miss?”

Crap!

The man in front of her looked over his shoulder at her with one raised eyebrow before moving forward and putting his stuff on the checking area. He probably thought she was stupid to continue queuing when there was an unoccupied register. She replied to him with a shrug. It was her time to waste so what was his problem.

A few seconds passed until she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to her left.

“Kelsey?” Ray's eyes widened in shock. He probably could not believe his own sights and she could not blame him. If she was in his shoes, she would not believe hers either considering how she had always turned the other way when she had seen him at the end of the road.

In all honesty, she did not know what to say. How did you talk to someone you have not talked to in five years? “Hey.” She forced her mouth to form a smile as her hand held the plastic bag tighter.

“Is that all you are going to buy?” Ray chuckled. “Ice cubes in the middle of the night. Are you having a party and did not bother to invite me?”

His humor made her feel less tense. “No.” Her smile turned into a grin. She handed the ice cubes to him and he scanned the barcode.

Ray's smile was on his face as he received her money and counted the change. Watching him smile made her realize how much she missed him. He had been her best friend since they could walk. Their mothers used to bring both of them in a stroller and walk around the park. Hell, while their mother had their talk, they even chatted to each other in the baby language! Not that she could remember any of their past conversations but they had been that close. And now they were strangers. Her heart ached a little.

“Here you go.” Ray handed her the change then blinked. He leaned forward, one hand raised, and tucked her hair to the back of her ear. Kelsey was too engaged with her own mind that she didn't realize what he was doing. “What happened?”

Kelsey blinked and stared at his baby blues. “What?”

“Your face.” His voice was laced with worries. “Are you okay?”

“Oh!” She grabbed some of her hair to cover the left side of the face again. “I fell.”

The frown on Ray's forehead slowly disappeared. “Yeah. You can be pretty clumsy.” He shook his head, smiling. “Remember that one time we raced to the ice cream shop and you stumbled on your own foot?”

Kelsey laughed, recalling the exact moment he was referring to. “Hey! I won that race!”

Ray lifted one brow, tilting his head to one side. “Maybe, but only because I was such a gentleman and helped you get up.”

True. Ray always let her win. “Well, I still won.” She shrugged one shoulder, her smile growing bigger despite the tightness of her left cheek. “Fair and square.”

“Here is the change,” said Ray as he handed her the money along with the receipt.

“Thanks.” Kelsey was about to leave when he called out her name again. She turned around and asked, “Yeah?”

“Um, do you think we could hang out sometimes?” Ray scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I know we do not go to the same high school but you know, maybe we could meet up and read some books or something?”

She fought the urge to smile and failed. “You want to read some books with me?”

“Or listen to music.”  He blinked as if he realized how silly it was. “Well, anything, I guess. We could even grab a coffee if you want.”

Kelsey laughed, shaking her head. The old Kelsey would blush and duck her head especially after what had happened with Shane and Bryson. Yet somehow she felt good. She felt confident. It was hard to explain.

“Let’s catch up, Kelsey.” Sincerity shone in Ray’s blue eyes and it warmed her heart.

“Sure,” she heard herself reply to him.

Ray’s smile turned to grin until a man who queued behind Kelsey said, “Okay, now that you two exes have made up. Could I pay for my groceries?”

Both Kelsey and Ray burst into laughter.

* * *

Did you know those days when you changed a little thing about yourself but under the microscopic eyes of the entire school you looked like you had a groundbreaking makeover? It was almost as if you had plastic surgery or a boob job, something that was visibly noticeable.

For Kelsey, she figured it out today. She knew she looked slightly too pale after putting on some foundation she borrowed from her mother’s makeup box but at least she had drawn a line of lipstick on each cheek and rubbed it to replace a blush. The bright red lipstick was not really her type but again it was another effort to make her less anemic and normal.

The second she entered the double doors and walked through the hallway, she knew it was a bad idea. It did hide her bruise but it also made her look like someone else, someone she almost could not recognize, and the reaction of everyone else was another confirmation that she should not have done it. What choice do I have? She whispered to herself as she pushed her shoulders back and refused to duck her head. The last thing she needed was to show another weakness. Although people whispered wherever she went, no one else directly bashed her about her look and that was exactly what she wanted. Not one comment until the third period ended and she sat down on the table at her usual corner in the crowded cafeteria.

“What is it with the new look?”

Kelsey closed her eyes and breathed out. She did not have to look up, she knew that voice anywhere. “Why do you care?”

“No, I am just wondering why the effort.” He put his palm on the table then sat down beside her. “I mean, your ex is clearly gay now and there is no cure for that — not that he needs any except for his jerk attitude,” he shrugged, Kelsey could feel his arm rubbing against hers and quickly retracted her arm subtly, “So does that mean that this is all for me?”

She swooped the last spoonful of bland pasta served as a today's special in the cafeteria in, chewed, and swallowed before tilting her head to one side and saying, “You wish.”

“Be careful, Luv, if you are not careful, you might fall in love with me,” he teased, his eyes crinkled in amusement. He clearly enjoyed teasing and flirting with her.

“Dream on.” Kelsey rose to her feet, carrying the tray with her, and started to walk away.