18When I woke up the next morning, there was a weight over me. I blinked my eyes open, squinting. Zac was peacefully asleep, his head on my chest and arm slung over my waist. He looked like an adorable little child—his face relaxed, no tension hiding behind his features. From this up close, I could see the faint freckles that spotted over his nose. Memories from the previous night flooded my mind.Guilt coursed through my body. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I was going to wait for Zac to doze off and then spend the night in the recliner if I had to. Evan. This was—wrong. I felt sick at myself. Zac and I were friends and I did adore and care for him but this wasn't honourable—I had a boyfriend. I analyzed every line and dot on Zac's face. He looked so tranquil and calm—I didn't want to wake him up. His eyelashes were long enough to brush against the top of his cheek. His jawline was carved perfectly like a sculpture. There was a slight stubble forming on across his jaw. His lips
19Things had been oddly good lately. Evan and I are good—although I still want to know what the deal with him and Zac is. I don't bring it up anymore because I know he won't tell me. It's easier to let it go rather than cause another fight. Although, I can't help but still be curious about it. Every time I'm with Evan, I feel more on edge and I notice myself paying closer attention to the things he says, or the way he reacts. I try to find hints—but there is never anything. Zac and I remain close. I think we're close. We study after school and he's getting better at chemistry. Our study session usually end with us watching an episode or two of Breaking Bad. Zac comments on everything, and spends much of his time throwing food at me. "Happy birthday, Hun." I was sitting at the kitchen island, scrolling on my phone. My dad walked into the kitchen, a cupcake in hand. He had a candle lit on top of the cupcake. I laughed as he approached me. "You didn't have to do this, dad." I smil
20I was sitting outside on the bleachers by myself at lunch—when Zac came over to me. He didn't say anything. He walked up the bleachers and sat down beside me, silently. After a moment, he spoke quietly. "It's cold outside, you shouldn't sit here. You're going to get sick." He took off his coat and placed it over my shoulders.I looked at him flatly. "I don't care if I get sick, Zac.""I do." He just looked at me. Both his gaze and voice were gentle. I ran a hand down my face sighed. "I'm—I'm sorry I lost it this morning."Zac shook his head frantically, his eyebrows pulling together. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Bloom. I'm the one who—well, I apologize for Shane being a dumbass.""He didn't know." I shrugged. "Not his fault. It's not anyones—I just don't like my birthday."Zac turned to look out at the empty field. "I hate Christmas." I looked at him. "It just reminds me of how fucked up my family is—reminds me how much my family isn't even really a family." He chuckled d
21I thought everything was okay—but now I was so sure.The only thing I could think about was Zac.Sitting through all my classes—I couldn't focus or pay attention. I was lost in my head, thinking about him. Jade and Bea would be speaking to me but I wouldn't catch a single word they said—I was too busy thinking about him. Everything about him—the way one loose curl of his hair would always fall on his forehead, his chocolate brown eyes that looked more like honey when light hit them, the intoxicating sound of his laugh, the way he would become cold, his jaw would clench when he was mad or annoyed, the way he called me Bloom as if it were my real name, how he would call me 'love' without even noticing it, whenever we texted and he would annoyingly only respond with pictures of gifs of jasmine flowers or animated princess Jasmine—completely ignoring what it was we were really talking about. Even worse than all of that—I kept thinking back to the night of my birthday.Was he going to
22The next day at lunch, John, Shane, and Zac joined us which was fantastic because I didn't know how to look at Zac without my heart starting to race a mile a minute. The whole time, I did my best to avoid eye contact but it was difficult considering Zac wouldn't stop looking at me.He was staring at me with a cocky grin on his lips and an eyebrow quirked, leaning back in his seat comfortably. He was amused. He could tell I was avoiding eye contact."Hey, you guys should come over Friday." Jade spoke to the boys, smiling brightly."What's on Friday?" Shane asked as he stuffed his mouth with fries."Our old friend is coming to town for a few days. We're just going to be hanging, you guys should join. It'll be fun." Jade smiled softly at the boys, her eyes inviting."Way to break up the Fab Four, Jade." Bea rolled her eyes as she scrolled through her phone. Jade and I both knew she wasn't really mad about it though."You sure?" John asked. "Wouldn't it be intruding on a reunion or som
23"You're here!" I squealed as I jumped into Cody's arms and hugged the life out of him. After a ten minute hug, he laughed as he let go of me. I took a step back to take a look at his appearance.He wasn't anything like I remembered.No longer a brace-face, his hair was longer and styled upwards, his eyes looked brighter, he was no longer and skinny and lanky guy but instead was pretty well built and much, much taller now. I had to admit, Cody was really, really attractive now which was weird seeing considering we always knew him as the nerdy, brace face, little boy.Of course I had facetimed him over the years and saw his posts on social media but actually seeing him in person after all years felt a little overwhelming."You look amazing, Jabz. No longer looking like a shy little girl hiding behind her hair."I laughed as we walked into my house, "I still am a shy little girl hiding behind my hair, when I want to be, Co. You however, don't fit the whole nerd stereotype anymore."Co
24I told the girls what happened with Zac.The four of us were hanging out now, just sitting in my room and talking, catching up on everything."Wow," Jade exhaled. "What are you going to do?"I leaned my head on Cody's shoulder. "What do you mean what am I going to do? I'm not going to do anything."Bea scoffed, "Are you kidding? You're literally going out of your mind not doing anything about Zac.""What do you want me to do?" I sighed. "I have a boyfriend and Zac... he's a player. He's not going to commit to anyone, especially not me. Why would he ever settle for me when he can get any long legged blonde beauty?"Bea rolled her eyes, "You're such an idiot.""You really are," Cody chuckled."What?" I lifted my head and looked between my friends. "How? What did I do now?"Jade gave me a warm smile, "When's the last time you saw him get with some long legged blonde beauty, Jas?" Now that I thought about it, it had been a while since I saw Zac going to hook up with some random girl. "
25I stared at myself in the mirror, worried because I wasn't sure what was going to happen.After taking a minute to collect my thoughts and let my courage build up, I left Evan's bathroom and walked into his room."The hell is this?"He held my phone in front of my face with the picture of Zac and I pulled up. It was the picture Shane took of us when we had fallen asleep together, the night he was very drunk."Why are you going through my phone?" I tried to snatch it back but he was taller and much faster so he pulled his arm back."Well what else am I going to find if I keep looking?" Evan was angry.I clenched my jaw, "Nothing because there is nothing to find. That doesn't mean you can just take my phone and start snooping.""You wouldn't have a problem with it if you weren't hiding something," he retorted. His eyes were cold and tone was dull but harsh. Evan crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for a response."And what exactly do you think you're going to find, Evan? I have