Today is the first day of school and also the first time I am resuming a new semester without Maria. It’s odd.
I pass a look at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I don’t look so bad. No makeup except a dab of red lipstick. Ben’s clip—the second colourful item of my outfit—is keeping my hair away from my face.
My fingers shake slightly at the thought of Ben. I miss my boyfriend. I touch the butterfly on the clip and a wry smile forms on my lips. I haven’t been the best girlfriend to him in days. I push that thought aside as soon as the laughing image of him and Olivia pops in my mind. Are they really just friends?
Drawing courage from within, I flash my image a thumbs in the rearview mirror and step out of my car. The parking lot is deserted, scary. Everything is scary without Maria and Ben. Most students, including me, are not so keen on resuming in the second week of January. I switch the plastic bottle to my
BEN I don’t believe her. Either she likes Noah and she is lying to protect my feelings or she is tired of me. Last year, she asked a lot of questions about Noah. I didn’t want to worry. I didn’t think I had any reason to worry because I trusted her. I still do. Maybe I shouldn’t. If she truly loves, she will want me to be happy. Gracie has changed. I know it’s not her period. It happened a day before Christmas. It shouldn’t be here so soon already. I press a finger to my temple and set my painting brush down. This is not even my class. Olivia drags her high stool closer to me. She nudges me with her elbow as her brush makes soft strokes on the canvas. I tuck a hand under my chin and try to guess a title or the inspiration behind the painting. We have been doing that for half an hour since we escaped to this place but it’s barely helping my mood. The last time I saw her was at the restaurant. Mum invited her and her mother so they weren’t alone o
Ben is annoying me. Really getting on my nerves. I saw him hugging Olivia in front of the art room and he wants to give me shit for talking to Noah. I don’t like Noah. I am only tolerating him because he is Let.“Is that what this is about? The attitude?” he asks. I shrug. “Did Olivia say anything to you?”The fry loses its taste in my mouth but I keep munching to keep my mouth busy. Maybe he will go away. If Maria was here, she would have chased Ben from our table. I miss her. Ben taps my knee for a reply and I press my legs together. I am tired of talking about Olivia. She ruins my mood even in her absence.Hoots from the football jocks table draw my attention to Noah. His gaze holds mine captive and a chill runs through me. A cheerleader is on his lap but his eyes are fixated on me. He was begging me to accept his apology before Ben arrived. When Ben looks his way, he darts his gaze to the chic on his leg.Moments la
I am barely listening to Mr Banks, our maths teacher. His lips move but I hear nothing. Ben’s words keep reverberating in my head, stabbing me in my heart but I take comfort in the fact we haven’t broken up.Mr Banks throws a question to the class, someone answers and he nods in approval. I count the seconds until the bell rings but a peek at my wristwatch shows I’ve been in the class for less than ten minutes. A period is supposed to last forty minutes but I don’t think I will survive that long without talking to Ben.I shoot to my feet. My books clatter to the floor and my chair squeaks.“Yes, Theresa?” Mr Banks says.Heads turn in my direction, my eyes locate the floor, wishing the earth will swallow me. Buying time to compose myself, I pick my books and set them on my seat. His footsteps approach me and I lift my head.“I’d like to use the bathroom.” A girl snickers b
Ben hits the radio and Nikki Minaaj’s Chun-Li remix fills the silence. He moves his upper body to the left, then right. I honk twice, push two fingers into my mouth and whistle. He was right, he’s a good dancer and he’s killing it. His shoulders jerk in rhythm to the beat, he claps and resumes the body movement.“You are a horrible dancer,” I murmur. He grins, clearly seeing through my lie.My hands wrap around the steering as I guide the car to a new lane. The ice-cream van comes into view, my car slows down metres from it. Much to Ben’s annoyance, I shut off the radio and the music from the ice-cream truck filters into the car. He scowls and I bat my lashes at him like the cutie he says I am.Ben’s elbow juts outside the car, he twists his body so he has full view of me. “Is this it?”He sounds... Disappointed? I mean, I would be too. This is nothing compared to our first date. No. I’m do
“I missed a class,” I say to the figure on my screen. “No. “ My head shakes. “Classes. I missed classes.”Maria squeals. I plug my fingers into my ears. “Yasss. My baby girl is growing.”Only Maria applauds bad behaviour. I push my laptop forward and prop my elbows on the table. A small smile lifts the corners of my lips at the memory of Tuesday’s outing. My Benny. We should do more of it.“It was really nice, Maria,” I tell her. The talk, the moment of peaceful silence. His presence. Everything was perfect. Maria’s head bobs in agreement and I tuck my hands under my chin. “I think I’ll do it again.”Her screen goes black for a nanosecond, the ceiling of her room comes into view, then her face. Her jaw drops like she’s hyperventilating. She’s such a drama queen. Sure, I would never do something like that on a normal day but yeah, I did it. And
I love New York. It’s all I spoke about when I realised I wanted to be in the movie industry. They think they are doing the right thing for me but it’s too soon. Ben and I have not dated for up to three months.The car behind me honks. Frowning, I spare a glance at the driver through the side mirror. He’s pointing at the light. It has turned green. I mutter a silent apology and drive off. The excitement that’s usually present when picking Ben is absent. I stop in front of his house and honk twice without getting out of the car. Ben comes out first and keeps the door open for Asher. Asher tells him something, they turn to me and wave. I wave back with less enthusiasm. I don’t know what Ben tells Asher but his head bobs rapidly.“Tessa,” Asher cries out as soon as he gets into the car. He throws his arms around me in a quick hug I return. The second thing he does is to put on his seatbelt because he know
The boys are arguing about their football team. Again. It started as we were about to enter the cafeteria. Ben’s team must have lost because he’s the most aggravated. We have our trays in front of us but they are still arguing. The girls look bored as hell, myself included. Liam’s girlfriend yawns for the third time.“You okay, babe?” Liam asks her.“Yeah.”Lies. We are bored. We keep sharing glances each time the boys start on about a player from their team. I’m starting to think joining Ben at his table is a horrible idea. We always eat at my table. Since Maria is gone, it’s just us. I like it. But I don’t want to be the girlfriend who keeps her boyfriend from his friends.Ben pecks me. “You are not eating.” A hand cups my face, my cheeks grow warm as his friends stare. I shift on his lap, his free hand slips to my waist. He smirks, fully aware of his effect on me.
“Did you know about this?” I ask Hayden while dragging my pyjamas bottoms over my legs. Tucking the phone between my shoulder and ear, I arrange the mess on my dresser. “Daddy is travelling tomorrow.”“Yeah,” he replies, “Mum told me.”Dinner was a horrid affair. They didn’t stop talking about it. How can they be excited at uprooting me from here and moving to another city? I expect Hayden to say more but he doesn’t. He likes the idea.“Are you going to try and stop them?” I ask.The poster on my door doesn’t offer me any comfort. Her smile doesn’t fuel me with the drive to be a better fighter. It’s not about the fight as much as it is about leaving Benny. I collapse to the bed with a sigh, my head hangs between my shoulders. I stand, then sit back. Hayden drags in a breath, I clench my fist on my knee in anticipation of what he will say.&ld