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Chapter Thirty
Elsie
I heard my name being screamed, but it didn’t matter. Whoever they were, it was too late. My body became trapped in the fabric and plummeted to the ground. Oliver wasn’t there to save me this time; no one was.
When I stepped off the side of the cliff, I had adrenaline rushing through my veins, and I had fallen into a river. This time, nothing was there to numb the pain as my body smacked into the earth with a crunch—every fiber of my being screamed in pain. I had to have broken numerous bones.
I heard voices, but they were a distorted mess. Smeared faces danced across my eyes as I tried to look around me. My eyesight started to darken. Was this it? Had I finally managed to kill myself?
“Elsie!” a familiar voice called to me; their tone was dripping in fear. Who was that?
“Elsie!” There it was again. Why did I feel so bad about hearing them like that?
The faces were jumbling around. Who was all here? I finally found something to f
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Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-one
OliverWhen I saw the flood of people rushing to the big top, my stomach dropped. I knew something had happened, but I would have never expected it to be my Elsie, sprawled out on the ground.Blood was splattered across the ground; her eyes were barely open. She seemed dazed and confused. People were surrounding her like she was a caged animal in a zoo. Jules rushed in, and the crowd split like Moses splitting the Red Sea to let him through. He was forcing people away from her.I wanted to reach out, pull her into my arms and comfort her, but I couldn’t. From the murmurs echoing through the tent, she would be fine. I was on the verge of a breakdown when her eyelashes fluttered closed when I felt a hand clasp my shoulder.
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-two
Oliver Over the years, I had felt all sorts of pain and loneliness, but right now, I felt like I had fallen into a dark pit with not even a beam of light to give me comfort. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of Elsie, or worse, I saw her. Before, she enchanted me, enthralled me, and gave me something to rely on, something to reach for. Now sadness crashed over me like a tidal wave every time I caught a glimpse of her. She seemed so unaffected by the distance, and I guess that was the difference between us. I was always going to be the weak one who couldn't hold a candle to her. She would be strong and beautiful, always out of my reach. I found myself hanging around the humans more because I didn't feel as inferior, at least next to them. I saw the pity that lingered in Carl and Shirley's eyes that repelled me from them. That look wasn't helping me; if anything, it made me spiral deeper and deeper. "Come on, Oliver. Have another drink." John slurred as
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-three
Elsie As soon as I heard the knock on my door, I knew it would not end well. I could smell the cheap booze and cigarettes permeating from outside my door. I silently pleaded for Oliver to go away. I knew he was plastered, but I also knew who was lingering nearby. Stupid Jules had already visited me earlier, trying to convince me to fool around with him, but of course, that would never happen. If only Oliver hadn’t shown up tonight of all nights. “Jules, leave him alone. You know he’s drunk.” I clambered out of bed and rushed to the door. I didn’t trust what Jules would do to him. “Even drunk people need to be taught a lesson, Elsie.” I knew the dangers that lurked in those words. Unfortunately, over the years, I had witnessed Jules’s “necessary” evils, and none of them were necessary, in my opinion. Most of his actions were cruel and twisted. “What are you going to do?” I asked as my heart hammered in my chest. “Nothing that concerns y
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-four
OliverI looked up at the cold metal ceiling; black spots freckled across my vision. An angry humming echoed in my ears. A salty iron flavor rolled around in my mouth. Every breath hurt. My body felt so heavy; my head felt like I had split it open.“Oh, honey, don’t move.” A voice called out to me, but I couldn’t place them because their voice almost seemed to be muffled, like I was listening to them through water. Was it Elsie? I hoped it was. I just wanted to focus on those beautiful eyes and get lost in them.It wasn’t Elsie, though. My heart and hopes shattered. “Pepper?”“Oh, they did a number on you—poor thing.” I squinted up at her; yeah, that was Pepper, alright. I shifted and tried to sit up, but pain rushed over me. “Careful, take it easy.”I blinked my eyes as I tried to figure out where I was. I was on a hay-filled mattress on the floor in what looked like a kitchen
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-five
OliverThe days seemed to grow longer, and everyday time passed slower. I stopped trying to seek out Elsie, and I pretended like we never existed together. If this is what I could do to make her safer, then that’s what I had to do. I would never forgive myself if I were the reason she got hurt.I spent my days doing my job, avoiding Jules, Eddie, and Elsie. It’s not like I could avoid Grady. I felt like our dynamic didn’t change much, and I think that confused me more than anything. If anything, I swear his stare had softened, and that just gave me the damn shivers.John and I were out under the stars, breaking down the last tent with other roustabouts so we could leave yet another town. We hastily made our way around, untying ropes until the tent started t
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-six
Elsie The spotlight didn’t feel the same anymore after Jules tried to red light Oliver. It was as if the world part had lost its luster and sparkle. My heart wasn’t in life like it used to be. I swear the colors grew dimmer, and things I enjoyed seemed to fizzle. I found myself sinking deeper into myself and spending more and more time alone in my compartment. One of the few things that I liked to do was sleep. Sleeping let time run through my fingers like sand. I didn’t have to think or focus. It was just me and a darkness that didn’t want anything from me. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time. My body felt heavy, and I was so tired all the time. When I looked in the mirror, I saw dark puffy bags and gaunt skin. “You know you are looking worse every day.” Shirley sat in front of me, stirring a cup of steaming tea. Her face was twisting as she painstakingly scrutinized my face. “Thanks,” I mumbled as I fell backward onto Shirley’s bed. Her sh
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-seven
Elsie I clenched my teeth and tried to stumble away from my attacker. I could feel a fiery sting with every breath I took. The knife wound was angry and painful, and just moving stretched the skin, making it feel like I would rip in two. “Where do you think you are going, little wolf?” I never expected out of all the people in this damn troupe to hear those words for him. “Stay away from me, John.” My hands gripped my side, trying to keep my skin together, hoping I would heal. Sticky warm blood slipped between my fingers, and I winced. “Where would be the fun in that?” John chuckled in a demented demeanor. He raised the knife and lunged at me, but I was able to dodge. The smirk that was plastered on his face
Cirque du Lune Chapter Thirty-eight
Oliver A rumble of thunder shook the train as rain hissed against the roof as it came down in sheets. Dried blood was caked into my clothes and hair, the stale metallic odor lingering in my nose. In front of me, Jules sat puffing on a cigar, and his hair lay in greasy strands on top of his head. The lights shook with every crack of lightning. A thick fog of smoke filled the car, intertwining with the fragrance of Jules's top-tier bourbon. The ice in my glass clinked as I brought the amber liquid up to my lips. I let the warmth of the booze burn my throat as I tried to numb away the evening's events. "So, what is going to happen to Pepper?" I finally asked the question that had loitered in my mind since I plunged the knife into John. Jules blew out white wisps from his nostril and then knocked off the ashes in the tray in front of him before he spoke. "Pepper is with Birdie. She will be continuing her position in the troupe." "She will?" My eye
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