I hastily ducked my head beside the rack of lingerie I was browsing. I should have worn a disguise before coming here. It was my first time in a lingerie shop and the thought of stumbling into someone I know is mortifying in my book especially with my wedding coming in two weeks.
I’ll be Mrs. Bradley Miller in two weeks. My cheeks grew hot thinking of the new things I wanted to try on our wedding night.
I shouldn’t have let Arya bully me into coming here. Or perhaps I should have insisted that we came together. Now I’m stuck, debating if I should come out from hiding, hold my head high or retreat slowly and silently out of the shop.
“Surprise me, babe.” A sudden chill runs through me. The masculine voice sounded like Brad. No, it can’t be.
Brad was on a business trip for two days now. He said he should be home a couple of days before our wedding.“No, you choose this time.” The woman argued.
My brows furrowed in concentration as I dig through my memories. Eager to put a face on the feminine voice I put back the sexy underwear in its place and peeked over the rack.
My body froze.
It’s Stella Robinson, the financial department head and my husband’s boss on the company he’s working.
And hugging Stella from behind was Brad.My Brad
My fiancé
My groom
“Babe, you know I much prefer you naked and eager for me.” He took her hand, gracefully spinning her into his arms. The act didn’t escape me being a dance maneuver we’ve been practicing for weeks for our first dance as man and wife.
His voice came husky, and though his gaze is lazy as it swift over her perfectly proportion body I could visibly see that his fighting hard to rein the raging impulse to possess her and sate the unadulterated lust vibrating through his veins.
‘This can’t be true. He loves me, right? He said so himself. So, why I’m seeing this right now?’ A voice in my head piped in.
Her only response was a sultry laugh that grated my nerves even more.
Then, she tipped on her toes and sucked my fiancée’s face in front of everyone.
Suddenly a feeling of déjà vu came over me.
My body shook on its own accord, trying to place the flicker of memories.
Chuckling, she looked up at him with a seductive smile that could turn every committed man into a shuddering mess.
“I know. But I love the thrill, the foreplay, and everything that you could give.” As she said this, her hand travels from her surgically planted bosom down to her navel until it rests on her crotch.
I physically and mentally gagged, swallowing the vile that’s slowly climbing up in my throat.‘Wake up, Elle! Dammit! This is Brad you’re talking about. He can’t do this to you.’ A faint voice screamed at the back of my head.
I shoved the voice away.
As I looked at them I can’t help but resign myself into heartbreak. Deep inside, something in me recoils and I know, even a part of myself rebels against it, the smarter part of me knew something was wrong that even begging for myself to wake up won’t spare me the ugly details.
“How about I model them for you then you decide.” This snaps me out and brought me back to reality.
I saw her randomly pick a sheer almost see-through negligee on the rack beside them before walking straight inside the large fitting room.
And to think I swallowed my dignity just by walking inside this store, only to witness the greatest betrayal known to mankind.
“Do you ever love me, Brad?” I whispered, certain that he won’t hear me. But I guess the universe was playing a cruel joke on me because the moment I mumbled those words was the exact moment the song on the shop’s speaker momentarily stopped.
Talked about timing.
When his head shoots up in my direction he staggered backward like he had been hit with something tangible. But in reality, he was hit with the realization that the game he’d been playing was finally over.
Checkmate
I knew I won the game but why does it feel like I’m the one who lost everything?
I trusted him. Though I didn’t expect a life full of rainbows and unicorns, I never anticipated that I would be betrayed by the one person I trusted with my life.
It hurts.
As I stared at him, knowing his betrayal I can’t even shed a single tear for myself and the pain bubbling inside my chest.
Suddenly a laugh erupted deep in my throat. The kind of laugh devoid of mirth but of pain and hurt and contempt.He visibly pales. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he nervously swallowed the lump that suddenly clogs his throat. He probably thought that I would make a scene. I’m not, though I’m tempted to do it just so I could humiliate them. A small payment I know they deserve.
He threw a fugitive glance in his mistress's direction, before looking back at me.
“Not here, Elle.” He whispered harshly, gripping my arms as if to shove me out of the shop.
But I did not move.
I stay rooted in my place.
“No! I want an answer.” I hissed, shoving him hard. He staggered backward before he found his footing.
He glared at me.
I glared back at him.
“You want an answer? Fine!”
And then he opened his mouth just as Stella strut towards us.
“I did!” For a split second the lie hung heavily suspended in the air, enough for me to hear it loud and clear.
I smiled softly at them but this time it’s different, and we both knew it. Though my lips curved up on a smile my eyes didn’t.
“Really?” I asked in a small voice almost dead. I’m on those tipping moments of my life where I either fight or run. But then even if I choose to fight I would be fighting a losing battle.
He has given up on us even before I could do something. It’s too late now, I can already feel the stripping sound of my conference coming off and the creeping sensation of insecurity slithering through my veins.
It was sudden—a jolt maybe. But I knew it. So when the sound of emptiness swift over me, in an instant I heard the cracking of my heart and its agonizingly silent cry.
It’s over.
•••
I had never been dumped before given Brad was my first boyfriend. And ever since the day we had been together, I had this vision in my head that we’re going to grow old together.Cheesy, I know.Guess when you trust someone too much, you tend to think of those things to the point that you unconsciously let that person rule your world.And I admit, through the years we've been together I became too dependent on him.Though our relationship was not rainbows and unicorns it never crossed my mind that this day would come. And that hurt more than he knows.My pinky finger suddenly twitched as I stared at them so perfect together. It might be my insecurities talking but as I look at Brad, protectively standing beside Stella, he would no doubt make a perfect husband and a father.And if I just have half the guts other women who caught their man cheating have, the mal
“She’s pregnant with his baby.”Everything becomes too much after Arya found me face-to-face with Stella and Brad inside the store, and as every sane person would do, I bolted out, with Arya hit on my heels. At that moment I just wanted to escape and pretend that everything was just a big messed up nightmare.“My Brad’s baby.” A new wave of loud sobs wrenched my feeble body, shaking it to the point that I can no longer feel it.“Why! Why, Arya!” I wipe the tears after blowing the snot, blocking my airways, “All I want is to be happy with him. Am I not enough? He should have told me so I could give him more,” I wailed, clutching my chest in an attempt to ease the impervious ache I felt.“Let that be a lesson, Love. It’s never good to put the key to our happiness into someone’s pocket. We should—I mean, people change all the time, Elle.”“I know but it hasn’t crossed my mind that he’s goi
It had been two days, and I’m not done crying over him. Yes, I cried. And for the past two days, all I did aside from crying was stupidly scan and stare at our photos when we’re still together and reminisce the past that most likely out of my reach.A pathetic way of passing the time, I guess.I know I should’ve tried to crawl out from my room, eat, maybe took a shower, and made peace with the reality that we’re done. But the stupid, still hoping part of me still thinks that he’ll come back to me and have our happily ever after in the end.Again, a pathetic way of passing the time.Eight years. I can’t believe I wasted eight years of my life pining for someone I thought could give me love and stability. For eight years I stupidly gave my trust and loyalty to him, investing my time in our relationship.All my life all I wanted was someone to see me. The
“Fine! You stay and I’ll go.” I was about to maneuver around her but was stopped by her strong gripped on my wrist, pulling me to face her.“Then what?!” She exploded, throwing her hands up in the air before pointing to my bed.“I cannot let you crawl back onto that stinking bed and cry for my as*hole brother, Elle,” Breathing in deeply, she then continued, “Can’t you see?!” She growled, stomping indignantly, “You deserve better, Elle. A whole lot better than my brother.”“I’m tired, Anna.” I pleaded in a soft voice, tired and pleading.Though I had been in mine and Brad's apartment for two days without leaving, well it's actually mine since I'm the one paying it for the last three years after we got our degrees. I felt drained physically and mentally.“When was the last time you eat?” I shrugged my shoulders looking away from her.“Okay, you need to eat Elle. Now, go
There are moments in the past that all I wanted to do was run, to escape, and never look back. But I held on. I had Brad with me. And besides the young and naïve part of me always thought that he’s more than enough reason for me to stay.I won’t deny that at an early stage of our relationship I become too dependent on him that I thought I couldn't live without him in my life. Those days were over now. Brad left me without any warning or explanation. But the thing was, it’s more than that, and though it’s not as complicated as people around me thought it would be, the destruction of his leaving wrecked me apart.My confidence level hit the bottom level while my insecurity level reached its peak.What he did to me is more painful than being abandoned and left behind. It’s the thought that despite everything we’ve been through together I am still not worth an explanation.Now, while looking at the man I was supposed t
Twelve hours later after a lot of wandering around and revisiting the places Brad and I used to visit, you know for old times sake, I ended up in front of the club Arya and my bridesmaids set my bachelorette party at. Luckily the two bouncers at the entrance already knew me so they let me pass through without any hitch.“You're hot,” I slurred, looking at the guy sitting next to me. He's not even drinking, he's just staring ahead.“And you're drunk, darling.” I tilt my head to the side, and the whole club spin out of control that I almost fell from my seat. Lucky, the hot guy caught my shoulder as I lean dangerously close to the floor.Good job tequila.I gripped his arm tightly as I blink my eyes. “Me? Drunk? Nonononono.”He suddenly swept me off from the stool on the bar, carrying me to the comfortable-looking couch on the second floor where the music doesn't hit so hard on my eardrums.We're on the VIP
When I awoke, the sun was already peaking on the horizon. I lazily stretched out on the softness of the bed, face pointed toward the luxury hanging on the ceiling with a look of utter contentment on my face.I smiled to myself as the warm feeling and contentment settled within me. I’m lucky I’m not one of those people who got an ugly hungover after drinking too much. I know it’s way better than I deserve after that binge drinking. Though I think it was life’s gift for me.And, I regret nothing.Now that I think about it, it’s a long way coming. After I went into a coma for alcohol poisoning and lost my memory on the same night. I never drink anymore least look at the whole aisle of them in a grocery store. And Brad leaving me put it perfectly into an occasion to get wasted.Hello, freedom. A voice in my head purred.I smiled despite the fact it’s Brad and Stella’s wedding in a week,
It's been an hour since I discovered the gigantic cut of diamond sitting on my ring finger and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I may or may not got married the previous night.It was the first time I got drunk after seven years. The first time I let myself crumble, yet here I am making a mess again. But this was not like going into a coma for alcohol poisoning all over again. This might be bigger than the mess I made seven years ago.“Damn, what did I get myself into?” I murmured just as my stomach rumbled in complaint having not eaten since the day before.Arya, bless her soul had gone down to get us breakfast so I was left with my thoughts. I love Arya to pieces but there are times, such as this that I rather be alone than seeing her patronizing smile.I was deep in my thoughts, twisting and turning the ring on my finger when an annoyingly consistent knocking pulled me back to real