There must be something wrong with this guy.
Furthermore, it was too unrealistic to receive a confession while I'm in this state. I was lost in his eyes again.
There was a sudden blur in my vision which returned to normal immediately.
The background was different.
Whoa! I can't believe this! A rich dark green mountain background. Sturdy metal cables stretched upwards on either side. Facing me was Chen Lan. My hands tightly clasped within his, I was intently gazing at him.
Why would I do something cheesily romantic like that?
I was walking forward, while Chen Lan was stepping backwards at the same pace as mine without breaking eye contact. I suddenly averted my eyes and looked down.
GOOD HEAVENS!
How many feet is this?! Looks like 1000ft!
Where the hell?!
I could feel that extreme fear.
“Xue'er. Look at me. Don't look down.”
“I'm afraid, this is so embarrassing..”
“It's okay. Just look at me and keep walking, you aren't acrophobic so you'll be fine.”
A young man was daringly walking past us, live streaming on his phone,
“Thank you! That's so many gifts!..... Yes! It isn't that simple to walk on the great Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon Skywalk......... Ah yes! There is a couple behind me slowly trying to cross this glass bridge. Haha...They must have seriously vowed to face all hardships together! We shouldn't affect their privacy, so let's switch to our rear camera view!..........”
Zhangjiajie skywalk! The highest glass bridge in the world. I've actually crossed it with Chen Lan?
The memory dissipated slowly. I was still staring into his eyes. The sun has almost set. I broke our eye contact and stepped backwards. Both of us were silent. I didn't want to lift my eyes off the grass.
I, who didn't want to date any guy, went to that glass bridge with him. I must have trusted him so much. Crossing that scary bridge which stretches for nearly 1500ft in length, and is located at nearly 1000ft in height just with the courage he was passing to me through his eyes, sounds absurd.
It looked like we were midway in the bridge. I will have never walked in on my own nor with my parents. But I crossed it with him. That implies an undeniable truth that….
I trusted him more than I trusted myself or my parents.
Who is he?
How did he gain my trust?
How did he gain my love?
Confused, I stepped back further and was about to turn around to head back in, but Chen Lan immediately grabbed my hand.
I turned around, he gave me an innocent and worried look.
“Laia… I know that I might sound unreasonable, but I really...”
He interrupted midway and looked with an even more worried expression. I realized why as a huge teardrop rolled down my cheek, soon followed by another. Tears kept rolling down my cheek, but I didn't know why and couldn’t stop them either. I felt a deep pain within me and I was sure it wasn't physical.
Meanwhile, I felt the grip around my wrist loosen. He was taking his hand off mine. Inexplicably, the pain within me worsened.
For no reason, I quickly grabbed his hand and shifted my gaze towards it for a while.
.............
Soon as I realized what I was doing, I quickly released his hands from mine and hurriedly wiped my tears away.
.............
We shared a few more moments of awkward silence.
Abruptly without even thinking about it, I blurted out,
“Can you accompany me upstairs to my room?”
He was initially surprised at my question but agreed without delay.
We headed in. Though the hospital was lively, the silence between us made the atmosphere feel so tense and cold. We entered the elevator, and it was only the two of us. However, none of us wanted to talk. When we reached upstairs, we walked through the corridor like total strangers. Finally, we stopped by at the door of my room.
“Chen Lan…”
“Uh?”
I realised that I called him by his name rather than calling him Mr Chen, as I did until now.
He was looking eagerly at me, but he was obviously worried about me.
When I looked at him, I felt an extremely strong urge to accept his confession, but my recently recollected memory replayed itself - the moment I was crying in front of the mirror and regretting accepting him.
It stopped me from saying anything.
A deep battle was going inside me.
I didn't want to repeat the same mistake... But why was it a mistake? Why did I regret it?
Replaying that memory brought more pain. But painful memories can be a strong trigger. I badly wanted to remember everything. I didn't feel such a strong urge all these days until I saw Chen Lan.
Now, I want to remember everything... Just because I want to answer him... Answer this guy who is patiently looking at me with keen and worried eyes… This guy who and is filled everywhere in my memories... This guy whom I have loved so deeply.
…….
Deeply determined, I forced that memory back.
I was crying in front of the mirror.
Why?
I forced it again.
I had something in my hand. What was that?
An iPad...
My iPad... I was looking at it……
A document….
I couldn't see it clearly. I forced it back again.
A letter. An official letter….
Addressed to Chen Lan….
Scholarship…
The memory was still vague. I impatiently tried to force it back but couldn't. Feeling entirely helpless, I broke into huge sobs in despair. My knees gave away and I shrank down to the ground. Chen Lan who didn’t expect this soon crouched down with me. I could feel that the passers-by were watching us.
I didn't have any strength to stand up. But, before I could ask him, I felt myself being lifted off the floor. He gently carried me up in his arms. I was still crying. I wasn't in any mood to savour this cliché moment. A nurse who was passing rushed to us and opened the door. He carried me in, and slowly place me on the hospital bed.
I sat up. My condition seemed to be pacified and I stopped crying but was still deeply aggrieved. I could see him sitting by the side of my bed, with my peripheral vision.
I didn't want to give up... I closed my eyes and forced that memory back.
A scholarship offer for Chen Lan…
I was sobbing while I was looking at that. Suddenly a different voice was playing in my head.
“Laia, do you know how much it meant for him in the past?
A male voice, probably of middle age…
“I'm listening, professor.”
Looks like a phone conversation…
“That was one of his career goals. He is a very bright student as we all know, and it was his dream to study at Yale University. Now, he has received a scholarship to complete his Master degree there, but I can't really imagine that he denied the offer!”
He sounded furious. Of course, he would.
“Laia, I'm not against these romantic relationships, I just don't want him to waste his career goal just like that. I wanted to skin that brat alive when he said that. He has always been a playful punk. But that day he was so stern and even so thick-skinned to listen to my scolding for nearly half an hour. I couldn't change his mind, and I guess only you can. I don't know the reason why he denied it. Do you know why? Maybe I can help him.”
“Professor….. I never knew…”
“He didn't tell you?! Now I'm confused. However, try your best to convince him. I'll send you the document.”
The line went off.
I was already crying and cried even more, when I saw that document. Teary-eyed I was saying,
“Now I have one more reason to disappear out of his life, I seem to be doing no good to him.”
The deep anguish seemed to reverberate throughout my body.
“He denies the offer just to be with me. At this rate, if I left him for good, he'll ruin himself completely. He'll fall into a deep abyss just because of me.”
Currently, it seemed as if the anguish was generating physical pain.
“It is my fault….. I shouldn't have accepted him at all…..”
“I can't let him suffer and get hurt because of me…….. Sorry, Chen Lan….. Sorry…”
“As long as memories linger, they'll bring pain…..….”
“ I'm left with no other choice but to completely wipe me out from your memories……”
…..
So this was actually where these sentences occurred…
I broke down into huge sobs, my shoulders heaved as I cried out of agony. I opened my swollen eyes which were almost blinded by my tears. I could see Dr Wei, and Alice at the rear end of my bed, I glanced at my side to find Chen Lan sitting on the bed, clasping both his hands around my left hand.
I felt my energy draining out, I felt myself falling backwards. I could see Chen Lan rush forwards to hold me. But I couldn't feel anything.
I was conscious, but I couldn't hear anything. I could only see.
In a short while lost my consciousness too…
.....
But I could still see... I was able to hear… I was also able to feel…
I wasn't in the hospital room anymore…
……………………
I was back in my memories….
From here onwards, Laia regains her memories. The true story begins here. The trial of love as well...
"LAI-A-WAKE-UP!-LAI-A-WAKE-UP!-LAI-A-WAKE-UP!...." "Ugh! leave me alone!" "LAI-A-WAKE-UP!-LAI-A-WAKE-UP!-LAI-A-WAKE-UP!...." These crazy girls! I feel like screaming! "STOP IT!" yelling out like that, I shot up from my bunk-bed and glared at the faces which were staring up at me. I felt so glad that I got the top bunk, not the bottom one. Or else, they'd have made me deaf with their chants. "Laia! don't you remember what day it is?", the short one asked. Before I could even think, "It's freshmen admission!!! There'll be a lot of cute and hot juniors", the tall one answered. "Yaay!", both cheered in unison. There they go again! I quickly climbed down and ran into the bathroom ignoring those two. Today, I had to go to college earlier than usual, so I soon hurried back into the room after cleaning myself up. Both of them were already dressed up. One was packing
Completely startled, I kept leaning back to prevent the tiny gap left between us from getting even smaller. Strangely, I didn't push him away, or hit him or do any sort of action in protest of his provoking behaviour. “You will fall backwards if you keep leaning back like that.” That sentence knocked some sense into me. I pushed him away and frowned at him. My brain began betraying me at that very moment by refusing to generate speech. However, I mustered up some courage and retorted at him, “Such an arrogant kid!” “My apologies, Senior. I startled you.” He was still smiling mischievously, his eyes twinkling with delight like a kid who had been rewarded with ice cream. Looking at his ridiculous expression, I wanted to shout more, but I was already running late, so I turned around for real this time and rushed back along the same corridor which we passed a few minutes ago. Behind me, I heard him shout out, “But it wasn't
WeiWei and Rourou looked at me with worried looks. "Both of you know me the best. With my conservative character, do you think that I'd be able to fall in love with someone but get married to another?" Both of them shook their heads either way in unison. "So, There's no such thing like love, or dating for me." Rourou hugged me from the side, hoping it would comfort me, while WeiWei clasped my hand within hers. We shared a few moments of silence. Both of them were feeling down. I didn't want to make them sadder, so I immediately cheered up. "Hey, both of you, are you mourning for someone? So melancholic. Back to your positions! No more sad faces!" Hearing that, both of them seemed to cheer up a bit and returned to their tables and continued with their study. Relieved, I let out a deep sigh. Born in a prestigious Indian family of high social status, it was my duty to continue the bloodline of my family, since I was the only child
“How can you casually say that?” “Because I know how you feel.” It might have sounded romantic, in a romantic atmosphere like this, with a romantic guy standing beside me, holding an umbrella for me, and walking me back to my dorm. But right now, I was feeling very much pissed off. “Huh. Do you know how I feel? Do you?” “Take a good rest, I don't think you can manage this conversation.” “Can you please stop it? Stop acting as if you know me! It's really irritating!” Only the pattering of the raindrops on the floor was audible and nothing else. “I hate it when people act up as if they understand me. Don't you even dare to try that!” Saying that I left without another word. I don't know why I was so angry, but it was painful, so painful to hear his words. Especially when he said that he knew how I felt. I felt my legs automatically leading their way up to my dorm. I flung the door open. RouRou and WeiWei gave me startled
I tried my best not to yell at him and took some deep breaths to ease out the fury building up within me. “Chen Lan, let's talk.” “Isn't that what we're doing right now?” Is he stupid? Now that I try to be calm, he is purposefully trying to get on my nerves again by making those sarcastic remarks. “Come let's go and sit somewhere.” Saying that I found a stone table with a few stone stools located under a tree. It was the nearest option. I went there and sat, so did he. “So finally, you call me by my name.” Ah! Shit! I must have called him 'kid' or 'little junior'. “When you call a senior by name, why can't I call a junior by his name?” “Sounds logical. But for me, it really seemed like you did that subconsciously.” I must make sure and check that this guys majors in Data Science, not Applied Psychology. “I'm not here to chat leisurely with you, let me come straight to the… “ Befo
.... After a few moments of thought, I was literally sober enough and made my decision. Why should I do what he says? Would he even know if I think good about him or not? Silly guy. I'm gonna continue to treat you like trash within my mind. What can you do? I shot up from my seat. Both of those silly roommates of mine were silently munching up their food without even looking up. I left without a word. Would it help if I blame everything on them or yell at them? No. When I was almost at the exit, a student who was sitting there suddenly ran up to me and gave me a folded piece of paper. "A handsome guy wearing blue told me to give this to you." Handsome guy... To hell with his looks! I thanked the student and unfolded the paper as I left the cafeteria. "With your personality, if my guess was correct, you would trash this challenge straight away even befor
He was looking at me keenly and didn't look very surprised, as if he was expecting I'd say that. “I admit that my behaviour was too hostile towards you, and other girls wouldn't probably have reacted unreasonably like me.” He didn't even blink. Now you must be expecting that I'd apologize. Huh. In your dreams. Here I come to break your expectation! I was about to speak when he cut in as usual, “Everyone is unique and so are you. Since it is you, you acted that way, and such things can't be judged with a common context. And it isn't like you are gonna apologize for behaving like that either. Then why bother saying those?” I was having goosebumps right now. Does he have the superpower of telepathy? Why does he always guess everything correctly before I say them out? I drooped my shoulders, totally lost by the interruption in the conversation. I took a deep breath. I must make things cl
That punk! When I stood there frowning, unable to find the exact words to vent all my anger on him, he still stood at the same spot, looking at me with a strange amusement. A group of girls who were passing by happened to notice him, and of course, it is hard to ignore him. They all gave huge gasps and started to openly comment on how handsome he was. He turned around at them and gave them a polite smile. And with that, those girls went even crazier on him, attracting the attention of other girls in the surroundings. He didn't seem to feel awkward. He must have been used to being surrounded by girls who tell him how handsome he is. I didn't move but was still frowning at him while he continued to gaze into my eyes. It seemed as if time was passing slower, or maybe we were really staring at each other for a long time. I decided to prolong eye contact and direct all my fury at him through my eyes. At that moment, he suddenly broke e