Cjapter 77

After we got to Devin’s place, I took a long shower to wash the anxiety and trepidation off me. I stood under the rainfall shower for ages, eyes closed, head back while the hot water beats down on me. I think back to Devin’s words in the car. If I had found a way to reach him, would he have come? If the years have taught me anything, it’s that love is nothing like the fairy tales you read growing up. Love hurts, and it devastates and makes you crazy. Love is like being dehydrated in a desert and drowning in the ocean. No matter how hard I tried, I never could cut those ties. I couldn’t make myself forget; I couldn’t make my heart forget. How do you erase a love that’s been permeated into your every cell, carved into your very soul? You just can’t. No matter how much you beg your heart to listen to reason and move on, you won’t. I haven’t.

I’ve loved Devin since I was old enough to understand what love was. I’ve loved him from afar, silently, innocently. I’ve just never been able to a