Esther

Someone giggled. Esther turned to the source, but all she could see were blurry outlines against the light. She held her bag close and prayed the train stopped at her station soon. She should have taken a cab straight to the hospital instead of taking the subway just to save a few bucks. When she had left home that morning, although her sight was a bit blurry, she could walk just fine. But now she was bumping into everything. The speeding train slowed down, and she sighed as people exited the train, and more people got in. Just two more stops to her destination. She dipped her hand into her bag, rummaging for the familiar bottle. When her hands closed around it, she brought it out; it was so light. She shook out the pills; only two bounced onto her palm. She would need to get a refill after today's treatment.

Thirty minutes later, she walked into the hospital just as her sight finally failed.

"Aiyaa," someone sighed.

Esther smiled at the comforting familiar voice. She held out her hand and allowed firm hands to guide her to a seat.

"You always wait till you're blind as a bat to come in," the woman scolded.

"Sorry, Nurse Kim."

"Eii, you say that all the time, and yet you only come when you can't see your foot."

"I could see my foot when I left home this morning," Esther mumbled.

Nurse Kim didn't reply. Esther could feel the older woman glaring at her. She cowed and smiled sheepishly. "Is Doctor Jake around?"

"No, dear, your sweetheart is not available."

Esther blushed red. "H-he's not my sweetheart!"

Nurse Kim snickered. "Yeah, and I'm not Asian."

Esther felt a hand touch her eyes and spread them open. She could see a dull glow of light, like she was looking at the sun through heavily tinted lenses.

"Alright, now I'm going to put the drops in your eyes," Nurse Kim said, reaching for a bottle.

"These are to help dilate your pupils, so I can get a better look at them."

"I know, you've told me like a million times," Esther giggled.

"Hey, it's part of the process."

Esther felt cold liquid touch her eyes, and she blinked rapidly.

"Try not to blink too much," Nurse Kim instructed. "It'll take a few minutes for the drops to work." As Esther waited, she felt her eyes getting heavier, and she struggled to keep them open. She should not have worked on the painting into the night. Nurse Kim would kill her if she found out she still pulled late-nighters.

"Okay, now I'm going to shine the light in your eyes again."

The light was brighter this time, but not by much.

"How is it?" Nurse Kim asked.

"Not much better."

Nurse Kim sighed. "The drops are becoming ineffective, I'm afraid to say there is an onset of refractory dilation."

Esther turned with a smile. "Meaning?"

"Meaning we'll have to use manual methods; it'll be a bit uncomfortable, but it is important for the accuracy of the exam."

The examination lasted for half an hour. At the end, Esther could hear Nurse Kim scribbling and occasionally sighing. Was her condition that bad?

Nurse Kim led her out of the examination room into a small office. She could tell it was small because she was starting to feel claustrophobic.

"The patient is here, Doctor," Nurse Kim said as she made Esther sit.

A deep unfamiliar voice replied, "Thank you."

Esther gripped her skirt. She didn't want to be alone with a stranger. But before she could breathe a word, she heard Nurse Kim breeze out and shut the door. The only sound in the office was the rustle of papers.

"Oscillating anopsia," the doctor read.

"How long have you had it?" He inquired.

Esther fidgeted. "Er, two... should be three years."

"You have to relax, Miss Powés. I don't bite," he said kindly.

But Esther couldn't relax. Her skin crawled in apprehension, and she felt paranoid. She hated not having her sight! It felt like the world was mocking her but she couldn't see it. It stressed her out, and the stress aggravated her condition, round and round it goes in a vicious cycle.

"Esther!"

Her head snapped up. Wide doe eyes stared blindly at the doctor.

"I have been calling your name, Miss. Are you okay?"

"No," she murmured. She shuffled uncomfortably when she heard the doctor's chair scrape as the man stood.

"Do you still have panic attacks?"

She started at the sudden question. "Panic attack? I haven't had one since high school, and... that shouldn't even be in my medical file."

She started to stand up.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Relax, Esther, it's Riley."

Esther drew blank on the name. The deafening silence after giving his name meant the doctor expected her to light up in recognition of his person. If he knew her like he insinuated, then he should know she had the memory capacity of a goldfish!

"Ohh," she affected a surprised look. "Riley... it's been so long since we last spoke."

There was silence once again that grated on her nerves. Then a low chuckle, like he was trying to hold a laugh. Her fists clenched. She hated this! He was probably making fun of her! Was his name even Riley? She turned and reached out her hand trying to feel the way to the door.

"Sorry," the doctor (who might or might not be named Riley) apologized. "It was insensitive of me, but I meant no harm. It's just that you seem to have become cuter over the years."

Esther didn't know whether to blush or still be angry. She was sure her flustered expression gave him something else to laugh about.

"But," his voice turned serious. "What happened? Why do you have oscillating anopsia?"

"Who are you?" Esther asked again.

The doctor sighed. "Riley Owens at your service... I know you, but we never spoke, even though we shared the same class for four years."

Esther felt a twinge of guilt that quickly went away. Back then she had a million awful things going on in her life, not getting to know her classmates was the least of her problems.

"Oh, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." She could hear the smile in his words. It made her relax a smidge.

"Please sit. From your files, I see that Doctor Jake has been prescribing a steady dose of Retinolax and Phenlens?"

Esther nodded. "I need a refill on Phenlens... I don't really like the way Retinolax makes me feel."

She heard the clipboard drop. "What?" He asked.

"N-nothing—it's just it makes me feel drunk and high or something," she mumbled.

"Ah, it does have that as an aftereffect, and you can't tolerate it?"

Esther shook her head. She could bear the bitter sickening taste of drugs, but she did not want anything that would make her feel out of control.

"Okay," he said. She heard rapid scribbling. "I'll have them give you a new drug."

There was silence again, and she felt him staring.

"What?" She snapped.

"I'm sorry; it's just—can't you just get laser surgery? Oscillating anopsia can easily be treated with a correctional surgery and, of course, good rest..."

"Yeah, and it costs an arm and a leg... what's the use of my eyes if I'm homeless and in debt?"

"I'm sorry; I didn't...."

"You apologize a lot, doctor."

"Let me make it up to you."

"Will you give me the surgery for free?" She said in good humor.

"Afraid it's something smaller; how about dinner, tonight, at eight... tonight?" He was starting to sound unconfident.

She had a portrait to complete once she regained her sight, so a rejection was at the tip of her tongue.

"Wait!" He shouted.

She flinched, heart thudding in her ear.

"Sorry, how about tomorrow night or even the weekend... just any time you're free?"

Esther didn't like making plans... especially ones that required leaving her house, plus she was sure to forget she had agreed to a date before tomorrow morning— Wait, is this a date??

"Esther?" He called.

"Yeah? Sorry, you were saying something?"

"I was asking if you'd be free?"

"Y-yeah, sure."

She heard a relieved sigh and a chuckle. "Lovely, I'll see you on Saturday then."