74 Epilogue

2 Years later…

John.

Today we celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary!

We have a small part in the rose garden at the back just as we wanted it. Small with some friends and family that's it. When we are dancing I look at my kitten who grew up into a beautiful adult in the last year. We have been through a lot! Especially her! She's seen the devil and went through hell and back losing our first baby! But now all is behind us and we put a small stone in the rose garden for our dead child to remember him or her.

That first year was hell as we both had to try to deal with everything!

The first weeks she withdrew herself completely from me Which was really difficult for me on one hand because i missed her so much but on the other hand because i couldn't make love to her for some time it was for the best but when she told me that her wounds were healed she still kept me on arm's length what was killing me to the point that i started to drink again

what i actually stopped since the time we