“Michael, are you home?” Elliot asked once he answered the call.“I just got here,” I answered.“Really? You should have woken me up to give you a ride. That must have been a long trip to get back home and I know you don’t like it when the bus is crowded,” He said.I rubbed my forehead as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say to him and we were quiet for a minute. “I wanted to clear my head. I’m sorry that I drank last night and that I didn’t take my medication. I know that was irresponsible of me to do, but you shouldn’t have reacted that way either and you were completely rude to Lucas.”“I know. I’m sorry, and I really shouldn’t have talked like that to your friend.” He replied.“You blew him off after he safely brought me to your apartment and I thought it would be a good chance for you to meet him. Lucas has been a good friend to me,” I respond, still feeling a little angry about that scene Elliot made. “I look up to him since he’s helped me figure things out and introduced
After sleeping for a few hours, I finally woke up around two and used my time to wash up. I caught myself sighing a few times, wanting to call Elliot back, but I was holding it off until another day. I keep repeating the words over and over that we’re not broken up, that we can be together again once I sort things out with school. I’ll make an appointment with my counselor on Monday and then maybe talk more with Genevieve about the newspaper work or the club activities with Andre. I don’t want to waste this whole month on not sorting things out and I want things to feel settled. I need a new path again to go towards or I might fall down. For some reason, I feel like I'll have a hard time getting back up. By five, I was waiting outside when Lucas sent me a message and I made sure to take my medicine again. I was feeling nervous now that the thought that I wasn’t following my schedule began to creep up on me and the expression on Elliot when finding out has been flashing in my mind. I
It became quiet between us after that conversation and it seemed like it was a good moment to talk as he lay there trying not to focus on the tattoo that was being done. I watched curiously again and it looked like it was a long process to get it done. From making the line work to the shading, I was quietly thinking about last night and I didn’t want to show how upset I still felt. I didn’t want to be bothered by our conversation and I didn’t even know how much I wanted to share with Lucas right away. I wanted to have new experiences with my new friends and I’ve been able to create new experiences like the support group or deciding that I want to study photography. “What if I do get something before we leave?” I asked, breaking the silence. Lucas laughed, looking over at me curiously. “You want to get a tattoo?” “No, I was thinking of a piercing,” I mumbled, wondering about what type of piercing I could get. “Well, that isn’t a bad idea,” Lucas replied and closed his eyes. “I ca
During the drive, I looked out the window and tried to ignore the stinging on my nose from the piercing. I had already sent a message to my mom about it like promised and I’ve been waiting after sending one to Elliot, but there hasn’t been a reply. Maybe after some time, he wanted distance from me and could be trying to ignore me. It was a mistake. This is my fault for thinking that it was okay to go out for a few drinks and it’s the same as when I messed up the night I jumped into the pool in high school. I’ve thrown myself into another situation and caused damage to others because I wanted to be selfish. “Michael?” I turned to Lucas when he said my name and realized that we were parked in front of my house, “Sorry.” I mumbled as I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door. “Thanks for having me come along with you.” “Michael, wait,” Lucas said quickly, reaching out to grab my arm. “Can we talk before you go?” Slowly closing the door, I knew what he wanted to talk about and prom
I had fallen asleep early that day and Elliot never responded until late in the evening, explaining that he was called into work which was why he couldn’t respond. I wasn’t too sure what to think about his message when I woke up the next day and spent the rest of my day in my room studying. I took this chance to look over the assignments I’ve worked on for the semester and look over all the tests to review the wrong answer. Mom was surprised when she saw my piercing and didn’t think much of it nor did I tell her about what happened over the weekend. I thought over the conversation I had with Lucas and I know he meant well when he said that the group would understand when I decided to open up to them, but it’s always a story that I hesitate to share.I put my pen down when I heard my cell phone ringing, and I read Elliot’s name, “Hello?” I answered.“Are you busy?” He asked.“No, I’m studying.” There was an awkward silence between us after I answered and I can tell that Elliot had some
Early Monday morning, I made it to campus to meet with my counselor and I was so nervous waiting outside the office. I looked at my phone to see a text that Luis was already on campus and we agreed to meet at the library later in the day to study. It took five minutes until they called my name and I made my way to the room to discuss my plans for next semester. I finally registered for my major in modern arts, in the photography department, and we were able to create a set schedule. There were so many courses that I wasn’t too sure which to take: digital imaging, portrait photography, documentary photography, etc. I made it simple with beginning photography and an introduction to color photography so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed when I return for the fall semester. I was a bit curious when asked if I wanted to sign up for digital film, but I don’t think I want to jump into a subject that I’m barely learning. After we finished with the paperwork, I let out a heavy sigh once I was alone o
I waited for a minute or two before heading back inside the library and returned to the table where Lucas was waiting. Seeing Luis's reaction, I didn’t realize how much my action has truly affected everyone around me and I never thought there would be a sense of danger to it. Or maybe I’ve been too preoccupied with all that’s been going on that I’m letting myself become careless. I’m not trying to charge myself. I'm not trying to pretend to be someone I’m not or being someone when I’m around them.“Is everything okay?” Lucas asked me.I sighed and shrugged my shoulders as I gather my belongings. “I’m not sure.”“It seemed serious,” He commented.I grabbed the strap of my backpack and put it over my shoulder, “Um, I’m going to skip out for today and go home.”“Are you sure?” He asked.“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow or later this week,” I answered and turned to leave the building. I still had one more class before I could go home and stood in the hall waiting for the professor to allow
I waited for a minute or two before heading back inside the library and returned to the table where Lucas was waiting. Seeing Luis's reaction, I didn’t realize how much my action has truly affected everyone around me and I never thought there would be a sense of danger to it. Or maybe I’ve been too preoccupied with all that’s been going on that I’m letting myself become careless. I’m not trying to charge myself. I'm not trying to pretend to be someone I’m not or being someone when I’m around them.“Is everything okay?” Lucas asked me.I sighed and shrugged my shoulders as I gather my belongings. “I’m not sure.”“It seemed serious,” He commented.I grabbed the strap of my backpack and put it over my shoulder, “Um, I’m going to skip out for today and go home.”“Are you sure?” He asked.“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow or later this week,” I answered and turned to leave the building. I still had one more class before I could go home and stood in the hall waiting for the professor to allow