I watched her leave soon after I washed the rest of the dishes then put away anything that was left out on the table. I went back to my room once I was done and laid there playing on my phone passing the time until I had to get ready for this date. I began to clean my room after I got dressed because I was already nervous to go out and there was still an hour before Elliot came to pick me up. I sat there on my bed as I played around with the rubber band around my wrist and it felt like I haven’t done this in a while. I looked down at my wrist before taking a deep breath knowing that there wasn’t anything for me to be worried about. I made my way outside once it was time and made sure the door was locked behind me when I saw Elliot pulling up.
“Hey.” He said, smiling.
“Hi,” I said as I put on my seat belt after I got in.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m just curious about what we’ll be doing
Elliot finally went underwater and I watched him from where I sat by the edge. I started thinking back to when I first met Elliot barely two months ago and the school year is close to ending in three months. Maybe Elliot was right about me being different than who I was before when I started school and yet I still don’t see much of a difference in me. I looked at my hands as I reached out to touch the water and wondered when was the last time I'd been disgusted by someone touching me. Luis hugged me yesterday and I didn’t think much of it or Elliot when he held my hand. Maybe I’m not completely cured, but could I finally be better now that I don’t have to be afraid? Did I just not have to think about it when people reach out to me?“Michael.”I looked up and saw Elliot kneeling right in front of me.“I was calling you.” He said.“Sorry,” I said shaking my head a bit to clear my thoughts. “I
“Every time people touch me, all I can see is me in my room,” I said as my voice grew louder and I moved a bit away from him. “I can’t breathe. I can't move. I don’t want to feel anything because when I do I always get hurt in the end. And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of this pain. Why won't it just stop?”Elliot was looking at me as he covered his mouth and he didn’t have anything to say. He reached out trying to pull me into his arms and I tried to move away, but we had a scuffle until I gave up and I just felt his arm wrapped around me. I ended up crying against his chest and I don’t know how long we sat there or cared if people saw us, but I just felt exhausted after saying all that to him. Mentally or physically… I’m not sure anymore. Maybe this was all that emotion that I’ve kept to myself and I never wanted to express.“Please… please, don’t ever say you can’t,&
I sighed as I leaned back against the headboard. “And about what I said…”“Don’t. If you're going to give me an excuse about what you said then I’ll be mad. I think you said what you said because… you wanted someone to hear you.” He said cutting me off and I tugged a little at the bottom of my shirt. “You can’t take back what you said.”I nodded my head as I looked back at him, “Okay.”“Alright… now let’s get ready.” He said standing up before turning back to me. “You don’t happen to have a spare toothbrush, do you?”I smiled. “Yeah,” I said getting up and going to the restroom to grab it. “Where exactly are we going this time?”Elliot took the toothbrush and walked over to the bathroom sink. “Um, I don’t know.” He said as he started brushing his teeth.“I thought you alway
He started walking to look for a machine to grab change to play the arcade games and looked around figuring out which game to play first. I tried not to think about the people walking around us and I made sure there was enough space between as I walked around trying to let them pass by first. Once deciding on a game of air hockey and it took me a while to get into the game, but the time I did Elliot was able to win me by scoring seven to two. We played another round and it wasn’t so bad this time since it was helping me focus on the game, not the people around us, but Elliot still won in the end. I didn’t mind losing because I’m not used to spending my time in these kinds of environments and I never had the chance to play a game of air hockey or any of the other arcade games.I tried to enjoy myself hoping to not show that he’s made a mistake on bringing me here since he had good intentions. When we find something else to do, I try not to think about e
Elliot followed and he took his turn but I won this time. “What about your dad? What do you miss about him?”Elliot turned to me, surprised by my question before shrugging his shoulders as he continued on playing. “Um, I think just spending time with him. I remembered he used to take me to baseball games when I was young or the time we went to the beach.”“Do you think about him a lot when we go there? Is that why you like going to the pier?” I asked him.Elliot smiled as he hit his ball into the hole. “Yeah, I do. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s just good remembering him that way.”I nod and I sighed as I moved to sit on a bench taking a break. “I wonder about that sometimes. If I had died, would anyone remember me like that or thought about me.” I told him and he moved to sit next to me. “But thinking about it now, I think it would have only hurt my parents. I don’t even
“And what about me? How am I doing?”“Mom, I think you're doing fine. I mean, you’re always working, but that’s because they just promoted you and you really wanted the new position.” I tell her. “I’m not going to tell you to stop all that because you’re not always here. It was just a different situation with dad than how it is here.”“Well, he should trust you to believe that you are fine until you say you aren’t,” she tells me. “And it should be the same way with me too.”I took a deep breath and looked at the show that my mom is watching before nodding my head, “Yeah, I’ll say something if there’s anything going on with me.” I promised.“So, what is going on?” she asked. “I was surprised when I saw Elliot this morning. I mean, it's his second time sleeping over, but you didn’t let me know until it was late at night.&
The bell rang and we all started making our way to the locker room to change. I knew Elliot was waiting for me outside, but I decided to take my time since there was no rush for us to leave and when walking outside I saw David passing by. I paused for a second trying to stay out of his eye-sight and thinking about how he hasn’t bothered talking to me since his suspension. I saw Elliot watching me being cautious so he started walking over to me and we both waited until he was gone.“He’s not going to do anything when I’m around,” he tells me as he reaches for my hand.I held his hand for a second before slowly pulling away. “We don’t know that… He could still try something.”“So, I’ll stop him.” He said and we started making our way out of the school grounds.“You can’t always be there like a knight or superhero,” I commented.“I can try.”I
Elliot reached out to hold my hand and we were quiet for a few minutes after I told him the story.“Honestly, I don’t know if it’ll be that easy to find him either way. He moved during the summer so it's not like he’ll be living in the same home or even in the city.” I said with a sigh.“Well, if you ever want to go and act like detectives to look for him then I’ll go with you.” He offered. “I want to meet this friend of yours.”I glanced over at him before nodding my head. “If he wants to meet us too...”Elliot gave me this supporting smile as he looked over at me and I thought about the possibility of finding Caesar, but I don’t want to get my hope up.“So then, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, changing the subject.“Yeah,” I said as I finally reached for my backpack.“You’ll be alright?” He asked.I