SIDAPA “APPARENTLY, Gods need love, too. That’s why some of us marry other fellow Gods or Goddesses,” Libulan informed. “I am the offspring of *Lihangin and *Lidagat,” he revealed. “Some say that Gods were forbidden to have children with mortals because it might bring chaos between the existence of the two species. But I had no idea that having an intimate relationship with the same sex was a taboo,” he said with a sad expression. “Sidapa… Do you really think that it’s a sin for us to love each other? Because I see nothing wrong with it.” I tucked some of Libulan’s hair strands at the back of his left ear. It gave me a good view of his beautiful face. The delicate look in his eyes had a calming effect on me. His sweet demeanor was something I wanted to protect at all cost. His soft and silly expressions and his funny mood swings brightened up my evenings. He unlocked these desires that I never knew I had, and made me yearn for more. “Libulan, look into my eyes,” I instructed him, an
SIDAPA “I GUESS both of us are,” I seconded, then sighed. “You know what? I’m really insecure on what I look like,” I suddenly opened up. “I hated it when some mortals accidentally saw a glimpse of me whenever I went down this mountain to stroll around or the disgusted look on other Gods when they saw me in my true form. ‘Why do I look like this? Why are they scared? Why do they all cower in fear when they see me?’—These questions haunted me for thousands of years that I’ve been in this mortal world,” I told Libulan. “I… I also got scared of you.” Libulan’s voice trembled when he said that. He was guilty. I breathed out before answering him. “Yes, but you didn’t fear my appearance. You only feared the thought of being eaten alive by me,” I clarified. Libulan faintly smiled. “I was surprised by myself, too. I really do get scared so easily but when I saw you in your real form, I saw sadness,” he pointed out. “Sadness?” I repeated. “Yes, sadness,” he confirmed. He made me loosen my
SIDAPA I WAITED for two days, but still there was no sign of Libulan ever coming back. I ought to trust him and his words. And I will still do until he comes back, I thought to myself while I sent a group of souls that went to Magwayen’s realm. All of them committed mass suicide this morning. Apparently, they were a little group of individuals that wanted to receive divine powers from the Gods and they thought that sacrificing their own lives would grant their wish. After I was done, I decided to go to the Balete tree. I touched some of its overgrown hanging branches as I recalled that night. This tree was where Libulan and I made love. Until now, I could still vividly remember his sweet moans and loving voice each time he yearned for my name. Then I saw that piece of cloth from his robe that got torn apart when I undressed him. It got tangled on a twig with a sharp edge. We both laughed when that happened and after that he told me that he would leave that torn piece to me. I forgo
SIDAPA “LIBULAN!” I called out to him. It pricked my heart when I saw the bruises all over his body. “My beloved, Sidapa!” Libulan cried out to me as he held onto the jail bars. “He won’t tell us the reason why you two committed the crime. His mouth was shut the whole time and quietly accepted all the beatings,” Kaptan revealed. It made me feel sick to the stomach. “He is quite serious about you. Given his weak state, he even sacrificed his own powers just to spare your life.” I growled in mixed anger and pain because my beloved Libulan suffered and I was not there. “My Libulan, why?!” I yelled at him with my tears overflowing. [Ah, this is the very first time that I shed tears,] I thought to myself. [I thought crying can ease the pain but why? Why does it hurt so much, Libulan?!] I asked inside my mind as I looked at my beloved who was also tormented when he saw my current state. “Please, Kaptan! Don’t hurt, Sidapa!” Libulan begged the God Kaptan and the man turned his head at h
SIDAPA “SIDAPA!” Libulan shouted and bawled his eyes out. I was in turmoil, but he was suffering the most. He reached his hand out between the bars and wailed when he couldn’t even go by my side. “Stop this, please! I beg you! Don’t do this! You are not a bad person, my beloved! Stop punishing yourself!” While I was distracted by Libulan, Kaptan took that chance. It was already too late when I tried to block his attack. He had already pierced his right arm into my chest. Everything happened so fast that I wasn’t able to even think about it. I coughed out some blood and gasped for air. When I looked at Libulan again, he was screaming at the top of his lungs and crying so hard but I heard no sound coming out from him. “I gave you the chance to back out and I could have given you time to repent, but you chose this, Sidapa,” Kaptan said to me in a low voice. There was no anger in his tone, just pure abhorrence. He was revolted at the fact that Libulan and I chose to love each other desp
SIDAPA “WE’RE here, my beloved,” I told Libulan. I made him lie down just beside the tree’s protruding roots. The tree was glowing from all sorts of directions. I left it unattended for a few hours and many souls had died during the time I was away. They must be so lost right now. And newborn sous were scattered everywhere, flickering like fireflies. A weak smile flashed on my face as I watched them dance in midair. “What’s the point of being born if we are just going to suffer?” I asked myself, then I saw Libulan move a little. I quickly moved to his side. A restricted groan escaped from my mouth when I felt a sting on my chest, the very spot where I was stabbed earlier by Kaptan’s bare hands. It hurt like hell, but Libulan mattered more. “Si…dapa…” Libulan called out so weakly. He raised his hand trying to figure out if I was there. I grabbed it and held it tight. “I am here, my Libulan,” I reassured him, and Libulan smiled in relief. “I am glad that you’re safe,” he said befo
SIDAPA “FOUND it!” I exclaimed when I finally had the core in my grip. I clasped it within my palm and carefully pulled it out. The screaming grew louder as the core was forcefully removed from its proper place. I knew the consequences, the risks, but none of them mattered to me now. If I was a sinner from the very beginning, then I would continue being one for my Libulan. The instant the core exited the trunk, the thousand year old tree began to deteriorate. All the lifelines I had carved on its magnificent surface flashed a blinding light, causing me to shut my eyes. My machete that was still stuck to the trunk melted and became a black substance. The tree absorbed that substance. The tree itself started to rot away. The dead branches fell off first, and the live ones were forced to detach from the wood. The ground made a rumbling sound, as if it was aching to open up and send everything from the above straight to hell. It was a horrifying sight to see. Then suddenly, the portal
ROARK THE last thing I remembered was giving a random reading for a guy’s money and love luck. It was just another ordinary day for me. Then I was transported to Mount Madja-as, where I discovered the necklace that I had given to Leon. Leon was one of my customers, or rather, a rare one. I’d spent my entire life pretending to be a cliché fortune teller who duped people by giving them false readings. When I made contact with Leon, my true ability was reawakened. He was the only human I met who lacked a soul. He was nothing more than a shell. But meeting him in that alley wasn’t a coincidence. I was destined to find him and he was destined to know me. Right before I saw Leon in person, the necklace that I found on Mount Madja-as gave me a premonition of the beginning and the end of someone. It was unclear to me who was being introduced to me in that vision I saw. It scared the hell out of me. It was far way more terrifying than all of those things I saw from when I was still a kid. At