One

One

v e r n o n

Catherine Jung is a girl that resembles all the beautiful words in perfectly woven poetry. 

Her raven hair cascades down her dainty collar bones like an evening in winter, a dark cloak atop snow-like porcelain skin, so bright and ever radiant that no blade would dare scratch it. Her eyes, don't sparkle like the stars nor they resemble galaxies. It mirrored a dark hole, an endless pit of mystery and darkness, far from any heavenly body. I’m never a fan of heavenly bodies anyway. 

The same mystic pair of orbs rendered me breathless when they darted at me. The high school hallways are always busy first thing in the morning but the students pacing back and forth all faded into the background when she came into view. 

I can't help but wonder what secrets those beautiful eyes of hers contain, what beauty they adore, and what they have ever seen in their lifetime. I wanted to stare at them for long, discover their deepest pits, get lost in their mysteries. It’s ironic how I could spare such admiration for someone who would never throw me a glance. 

"Do you like Catherine?" Mingyu’s taunting question broke me off my trance. Only then that I realized that I have been lost staring at her grace the hallways. 

I was quick to shake my head no, almost defensively. So much for trying to act innocent.

"Really..." Mingyu’s lips curved for a snide smirk, both unbelieving and teasing.

"Because you're looking at her like she just gave you a boner." 

I glared at Mingyu before I could smack his head.

It's our last year in senior high. To survive alone in this hell hole requires talent. What more to be remarkable? Catherine has effortlessly done both because except being beautiful, she's incredibly smart, talented and she's the daughter of Mr. Jung, the school's principal. She’s one of those students that are never hated, only adored, and maybe sometimes envied because she seems to have everything easy.

I've come across her quite a couple of times but she's always been too distant. So near yet so far has never been applicable to anyone but her. But I don't blame her anyway. My lack of interest never rendered me any closer to her. 

I mean it when I say I don't like her. I find her mysterious, that's all. Perhaps, I’m just intrigued, trying to decipher a perfect art that seemed almost complicated. But my interest is of no use. I have no time to spare for art already adored by many. She's a masterpiece worth a thousand stares and no price matches her.

I’ve been content seeing her walk the hallways often, seen her a few times in common parties, but never at once went nearer or attempted a conversation. She just never fails to have me staring and gaping in awe, like a thirteen-year-old boy who had just witnessed beauty for the first time. I am not innocent for I’ve met, seen, even tasted girls of the kind but she was different. I think such a difference would forever make me intrigued and it would stay just that. 

"I don't like her," I said mostly to convince myself.

"You know you should man up if you like her. Not stare at her and wait for the universe to drive you towards each other." Mingyu continued with his unnecessary vices.

I had no plans of intruding, no plans of getting involved at all. Until Mingyu's words happened like a curse. The universe conspired. 

Catherine was in the same class as me and she sat beside me on Chemistry.

For the first time, I knew how it felt to have perfection sit close to you. My heart thumped hard as if it was getting chased out of my chest. It took long seconds to calm my sudden insanity.

I dared to give one soft glance and unconsciously, I was again caught up staring. The teacher started to discuss and I could hardly lend her my ears for they heard nothing but a deafening heartbeat against my chest.

"Mister Choi.” 

I was so preoccupied that hearing my name called by the teacher startled me. A bit perplexed, a little nervous, I stood up. 

"Can you state Avogadro's Law once again?" 

I swear I was doomed because I didn't comprehend a single word in that question. Who the hell is Avogadro? What the hell is his law? Why is there even a law under someone who's named Avogadro?

Everyone stared at me for a long couple of seconds, waiting for me to come up with the least possible answer. There was nothing but embarrassing silence until someone raised a hand. I felt relieved that some saved my ass but not so much when I found it was Catherine.

The teacher gestured to her to answer and it's my turn to sit back down. Screaming with class and confidence that her brilliance bestowed upon her, she stated the answer I couldn't even guess. Afterward, she sat back down, leaving the class impressed. 

She was undeniably smart and I felt even dumber when we were asked to do an experiment. We were partners since we’re seatmates but she proceeded to perform independently, ignoring my presence and refusing to ask for the littlest of help I could offer. I watched her for it's the least I could do when I’m completely being ignored. 

With pure amusement in my eyes, I observed how she moves so serene, how strands of hair fall on her face, and how every move she made was made so precisely, afraid to commit a single mistake.

I was fine until her eyes flickered upwards and it caught me in a daze. My pulse elevated to a dangerous level. What the hell is with these sudden panic attacks when she’s around? 

"Are you just going to watch me?" 

She has a voice soft like an angel yet blunt with sarcasm. It nearly sparked with charm but overpowered with mockery. Startled, a response hardly escaped my throat.

"Well, it seems like you don’t need my help." 

"If I do, could you offer any?"

A sheepish grin effortlessly painted my face while I pretended not to be taken aback by her sardonic remarks. 

"I’ll help you in the best of my capacity if you let me." I winked.

It gets girls every time but Catherine was stoic. For the first time, the signature wink lost its charm. I was embarrassed but hid it.

I leaned closer to the glass she was holding, giving her my full attention rather than the experiment we were doing. She ignored me nonetheless and diverted her attention to the lab materials before her.

She rolled her sleeves up to keep them dry while working with water from one container to another. At that very moment, visible lines that were probably carved by something sharp appeared on her wrists. Each was red and swollen, indicating how deep each cut was made. 

They appeared as if blood stains amidst snow, scratches ruining an intricate canvas. My mouth went briefly ajar, slightly disbelieving the sight. But I could not be mistaken. Those were self-inflicted lacerations. 

"What's that?" I pried boldly. 

Her blank face turned alarmed upon realizing what I was referring to. Panicking, she quickly rolled her sleeves down to her wrists again. Her eyes avoided mine so eagerly and kept her lips shut in a straight line. I had no plans of being ignored once again so I said something that pulled her trigger.

"I never thought a perfect girl like you has a tendency to do self-harm." 

It was her turn to look at me, shooting daggers straight to my soul. It was only after I said the remark that it dawned on me how insensitive I sounded. But there’s no turning it back, Catherine is already firing me bullets with her eyes. 

"What you see before your eyes is not always the truth, Choi. Sometimes they blind you from reality." 

I was speechless. 

Have you ever looked at someone and for the first time, you start to think that they’re more than what meets the eye? And just like that--you’re involved. You’re invested. There’s no turning back. I’m already worried more than I think I should be. 

She was probably right. She was more than just a beauty but an enigma. Perhaps, she’s a painting with lapses and errors before it was covered up in colors to appear perfect. 

I had no plans of getting closer, but as soon as the chemistry class was over, I knew such plans were bound to be changed.