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11- Boston

I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but somehow, I’d put my arms around El and pulled her close to me, both of us laughing hysterically at my mother’s ridiculous pig mascot costume.

It had been as natural as rolling over in my sleep, to reach for her. Holding her as we shared a moment of laughter borne out of the intimacy we’d built over the last week together, and the last night especially, felt so right that everything inside me was pushing me to hold her there forever. Where she belonged—close to me.

But Mom’s timing was good, because it wouldn’t have been the right thing for me to lean in and kiss El furiously right there behind the tasting counter, no matter how much I wanted to. My desire for her, my intense admiration for the strong, silly girl in my arms, didn’t change the fact I was still lying to her about something. And as long as I was misleading her, it was pretty clear I didn’t deserve her.

I held her gaze a second longer, which turned out to be a mistake, because Mom saw
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